Thursday, December 5, 2013

The Damn Elf on the Shelf May be the Last Straw, Moms

I'm proud of my diversity of mom friends. In a media influenced world where we tend to belittle each other's choices and mothering abilities, I have worked to get past my own judgments to appreciate the individuality of all my different mom friends. I love you all; however, I have a bone to pick with ALL of you. First it was just the crafty, overachieving moms, then it started to trickle down to even those like me that are just hoping we all survive to the end of the day without killing each other, that jumped on board. ALL of you, the working mom, the stay at home mom, the organic mom, the nonorganic mom, the crafty mom, the noncrafty mom, the attachment parenting mom, the moms of all shapes, forms, beliefs and styles have ALL jumped on the Elf on a Shelf bandwagon. And I have not and now you have all convinced me I need to. This Elf guy has become such a big thing it'd be like taking away the idea of Santa Claus at Christmas.

But why do we do this to ourselves? Don't we have enough to do as mothers? Don't we have enough extra stuff to do during the holidays without bringing in this elf thing? I have a hard enough time being Santa Claus for ONE night a year.  Now I have to be a damn elf for all the nights in between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I had to tell a coworker to text me Christmas Eve because I keep forgetting to leave cookies and milk for Santa. I should just check Facebook for a reminder. Most of you will probably take a picture of not only the cookies you left for Santa but now we're leaving carrots for  reindeer too? Geez, this whole Santa Claus business is starting to need to come with an instructional manual.

I love Christmas time and love seeing the magic of it come to life in my daughters' eyes, but now on top of card addressing, gift shopping and ordering, Christmas budgeting, decorating, wrapping, baking, seeing Santa in person, and making it to other holiday festivities, I am now in charge of creating extra mischief around my house on top of all the other chaos and disasters that erupt all over my house on a daily basis with the never ending demands of my wonderful children, husband, and three pets.  I thought the idea of the elf was to keep our children in line so they don't create mischief so why is everybody's elves creating messes and mischief? I need an elf that cleans up, not creates messes.

This damn elf business might just be the last straw on this motherhood war, ladies. This may do me in. I may have to throw in the white flag of surrender here. I can't keep up with these modern day motherhood expectations . The good thing is I don't think my daughter knows about the magical elf yet. So I have not failed yet; however, I need a damn elf, moms. So where do I get it? And what exactly is my job as this magical elf character?

 The holidays are coming. Be sure to check out Gymboree, Crazy 8, Little Passports, and Shutterfly for holiday shopping deals.  Also Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas  is on sale for $8 through the holidays.   The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99. All sales through the holidays are going to a project for a child in need this holiday season. Help me close in on my end of the year goal of 30% of my writing/blogging income to go to charities. I only need a couple more sales. Any little extra maybe I'll go buy an Elf on the Shelf.


  1. Haha! I refuse to do Elf of the Shelf. I think it's creepy. I agree--it seems like everyone else is doing it!

  2. EVERYONE is doing it! Not me.. I'm sticking with our family advent calender.. Way more fun and real!

  3. Here it is here Angela!

  4. While I find the whole idea of the elf moving on its own creepy and a little scary for kids, we do have an elf (a different version) my sister sent us and the kids know I am the one that hides it. We just play hide and seek with it between St. Nick and Christmas. And if I forget to move it? No biggie, the kids take turns hiding it!

  5. We tried the Elf using a stuffed elf instead of the 'real' one last year and my son was scared of it! He said he did not like the idea of a little man sneaking around at night. This year he was ready to try again so we did get one. But I told the kids if the elf finds a spot he likes he will most likely return there a few times. This has saved me since I have forgotten to move it twice so far!

  6. lol, great post! Our mother in law sent us an elf for our daughter. It was during my last stages of pregnancy. We took our elf out this year, and I'm happy to say so far its been simple. It poses under the tree, hangs on a shelf, sits in a coffee cup-etc. It hasn't made any messes-I'm just not into that part! Honestly I had never even heard of this darn elf, until my mother-in-law sent it. Our daughter enjoys it, and hey we even forget to hide it sometimes-lol. We don't make a huge presentation with it, it's just kept simple.