Wednesday, March 15, 2017

The Hard Truth of Marriage

I don't know about you but This is Us I think speaks so strongly to me because-wow, the way it is US-probably so many of us- is so creepy accurate. I just watched the scene of Jack and Rebecca screaming at each other. Unfortunately, that very scene has played out more than once in my own house.

It played out with each of them wanting the other to see what all they had given for the other and for their life, feeling that their part to the life they've created has gone unnoticed and underappreciated. As parents we work together, raising our kids and building our lives, but somewhere along the way I often wonder do we all lose ourselves and each other for a bit in the journey?

It's so easy to think behind the closed doors and the flashing moments on social media that all our lives and marriages are without struggle. Though mine is not currently in a rough spot it is not immune to them. I think understanding the reality of that is important to any marriage's survival. In the early days of our marriage my husband use to tell me it shouldn't be so hard.

Our fighting, our disagreements, our broken trusts and promises at times all must have meant we were broken in some way. Ten years into this though I think we both know now marriage is not easy. We see Jack and Rebecca's love story as this beautiful love story, especially in the beginning before we know all the details. I look at the love stories of those a generation or two ahead of me and as a young na├»ve kid I only saw the beauty in the imperfect lives of others’ happily ever after stories, and didn’t see the sweat, tears, and time that went into making those love stories what they were.  Life is messy; we as humans are complicated and all carry our own battle wounds from life's experiences; therefore, marriage can never be a perfect union. Nor was it ever meant to be. The love stories that we find beautiful and look up to are the beautiful stories they are because they endured the hard. They navigated the messes of life and complications of one another, and they came out the other side. But they fought, they cried, they misunderstood each other, they wronged one another, but they also picked up the pieces together. Marriage isn't finding your way to the alter together, but finding your way back to each other over and over and over again.


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