tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59079717585238738782024-03-14T14:50:29.587-04:00Stepping Into Motherhood A blog about the journey of motherhood that takes us from the girl we were to the woman we become. Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.comBlogger475125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-81256273118287684542018-07-29T14:13:00.002-04:002018-07-29T14:13:49.592-04:00Stepping into Motherhood Is Moving<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Stepping into Motherhood is growing up and moving onto a more professional platform with Wordpress. I started here over six years ago in which I started as Time with A & N with probably like two dozen readers.<br />
<br />
But years later as I'm starting to get my words on bigger publishing sites I felt I needed a more professional blog platform to support my growth as a writer. Though now I may get my words seen by thousands; I'm still not in the millions yet, it was my readers here that gave me the confidence to keep putting my words out there.<br />
<br />
I hope you'll follow Stepping into Motherhood on the new <a href="https://steppingintomotherhood.online/parentingblog/blog/">website</a>. Though I am throwing more of my time and words onto paying websites as a freelancer I will still write about life, family, and chaos when the mood strikes me.<br />
<br />
I love hearing from readers and can always be reached at glennbabies@gmail.com. Take care, mommas, and I hope to see you on the new site.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZf4M68TkiqAq_rjbxkLpcuQRxIrjQmEJTnLcQdV9tGbr238j1v4a6SOiF-VE3ecpIqrvyQyDvUV5RnVbej9hZkJbJIAWu-5LBkQf4Cxg5PJDiAOCZw2iIERyQfiq7UIqMyIIvLdRUKWw/s1600/blog+post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="913" data-original-width="1600" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZf4M68TkiqAq_rjbxkLpcuQRxIrjQmEJTnLcQdV9tGbr238j1v4a6SOiF-VE3ecpIqrvyQyDvUV5RnVbej9hZkJbJIAWu-5LBkQf4Cxg5PJDiAOCZw2iIERyQfiq7UIqMyIIvLdRUKWw/s400/blog+post.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-68476637092452456472018-05-10T13:54:00.002-04:002018-05-10T22:02:05.729-04:00Sixth Blogiversary: Taking My Knocks and Getting Back Up<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
May is the month of my blogiversary of starting this blog here which originally started as Time with A & N. But then as we were getting ready to add to the A & N family which ended up being an L I changed the name to Stepping into Motherhood, which I think is much more fitting anyway because my focus more times than not anymore is about motherhood. Now this summer I'm looking into updating the site by hopefully moving posts over to the wordpress platform rather than blogger and actually having a website name that either includes my name or Stepping into Motherhood. This move will hopefully make the site look more professional and content easier to share. <br />
<br />
Though this little blog of mine remains pretty miniscule small, I love the little motherhood community here that it's become. I only have about 200-300 readers on average which is also reflective of my facebook following which is my go to platform to use for social media as I am not very good with being active on twitter and I cannot remember my Instagram login. <br />
<br />
Like with many things in life my failures and successes here are all about perspective. I could look at it as this is all I've accomplished in six years of hacking away at this writing thing and focus on all the rejections from editors I've received. Or I can focus on the fact that the blog has slowly but steadily grown over the years, as well as my publishing portfolio. Sometimes our successes are in the fact that we just keep showing up even when we've constantly been knocked down. If there's anything I'd like to think I'm good at it's taking my knocks and getting back up. This writing thing, though a true passion of mine since I was ten years old, is not without its tough moments of doubt. People can be critical; editors can be harsh, and it's quite easy to get down on myself and doubt what I can accomplish. <br />
<br />
The first time I had an essay published in 2012 I was so excited to be "published" I happily handed my writing over to websites and magazines for free. However, six years into this and I've reached a point finally where if you're not paying me you're not publishing my work. Unless it's some huge giant well known platform of course because of course I'm not going to turn them down over something like money. <br />
<br />
Throughout the past six years I've managed to get over 50 essays published for around $1300. I've also almost sold 200 books. After Chicken Soup for Soul in which millions read their books I'm to be published later this month on my next biggest platform with That's Inappropriate who has almost 1.4 million readers. They just added a parents content platform to their website in hopes of being the next Scary Mommy and invited myself, along with over 200 other parent content writers, to submit monthly for their 30 or so publication spots per month. They've bought three of my essays/articles so far, and I of course plan to keep throwing my hat in the ring to get more of my work published with them. <br />
<br />
There's pretty big competition out there so I've dealt with a lot of rejection. It's just part of the game. Most times I get that but it's definitely had its discouraging moments. Too many rejections and I often take a bit of a "break" for myself. I love to write and I don't want frustration with it to take away my love for it. I totally get every single thing I write is not publication worthy, and also that everything I write is not everyone's cup of tea. I feel everything with strong emotion- whether it's my anger or my joy, my frustration or my happiness, and I know no matter what emotion I'm running with at the moment I'm possibly coming in too hot with it. But one of the frequent compliments I get is that I keep it real. Motherhood is this incredibly raw emotional journey where we're gushing in happiness at how incredibly sweet it is one moment to barely holding our shit together and going scary mommy crazy on someone in the next moment. It's all here in this space- the highs with the lows and the joys with the struggles. <br />
<br />
I use this space as my sounding board where I'm sure I ramble on and say too much probably too often. But my rambling list of ideas and thoughts here is where everything first takes shape before some things are cleaned up and moved on to be published elsewhere. Some posts on here are just my therapy when I need to sort some shit out, and more times than not the women that read here are amazing at giving the feedback and insight I need to hear. <br />
<br />
<br />
For those that have shown up at some point in these six years and decided to hang out despite my numerous typos and grammatical errors, crazy rants, self indulged pity parties, boastful moments of success and happiness, thank you! My writing life really does start here with you! Thanks for sticking around. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikWBr3LEkJKkATcXA82v5BGSeLH-TvSc63UxL2E8co0NMpaTNHlHJv4i5DfARzPooYSB0MM4qOehZqbxKyywarMs3yzKqkqefFnzX5DOUPQIHnpI5yJqZXKaXW2muWT53PU60etmyvYsM/s1600/blogiversary.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="414" data-original-width="960" height="171" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikWBr3LEkJKkATcXA82v5BGSeLH-TvSc63UxL2E8co0NMpaTNHlHJv4i5DfARzPooYSB0MM4qOehZqbxKyywarMs3yzKqkqefFnzX5DOUPQIHnpI5yJqZXKaXW2muWT53PU60etmyvYsM/s400/blogiversary.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Want to help me as a writer?<br />
<br />
Buy my book <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/moms-monsters-media-margaritas/paperback/product-23284462.html">Moms, Monsters, Media, and Margaritas</a> or download the ebook <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/moms-monsters-media-margaritas/ebook/product-21667927.html">here.</a><br />
<br />
Buy my interactive journal for mothers and daughters <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/letters-to-a-daughter-paperback/paperback/product-23373624.html">Letters to a Daughter</a><br />
<br />
Follow, share, and invite friends to follow my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/trustingthejourneyofmotherhood/">Stepping into Motherhood facebook page</a><br />
<br />
Share any posts from the blog here at any time that resonate with you. <br />
<br />
Share any of my published articles and essays I share on my pages.<br />
<br />
Want a copy of the two Chicken Soup for the Soul books I'm published in email me at <a href="mailto:glennbabies@gmail">glennbabies@gmail</a> to get your copy for $8 plus shipping: <br />
Chicken Soup for the Soul Survival Guide for the Multitasking Mom<br />
Chicken Soup for the Soul Curvy and Confident<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-61005891281457464692018-05-01T21:43:00.002-04:002018-05-01T21:51:38.230-04:00Come Home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've been away from home this coming summer for 13 years already! Though there are times I get incredibly homesick and there are certain things I really hate missing out on from not being closer to home, I also love the life I've carved out for myself . But there really is no other feeling quite like coming home. <br />
<br />
I've traveled a lot of places, and the anticipation of an upcoming trip is really an addictive high that those with s traveler's soul understands. Yet one of my most favorite places to always be headed is HOME. It's been a destination I've traveled more times than I can count these past thirteen years, yet the thrill of heading home never gets old. I anticipate it just as much now as I did when I first left years ago. <br />
<br />
Though we only get to see and spend time with family a few weeks out of the year, we do our best to always make the most of that time. We love how, no matter which home of ours we're headed to, it's always like a week long party as everyone also tries to make the very most of that rare time we get together. Through all those snippets of time we've captured over the years we've created these lasting memories of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins for our kids that despite the distance they get to grow up knowing as if the miles weren't so far away. <br />
<br />
There are many things I hope our kids taking away from how we've chosen to raise them, but the choice to come home is one that I hope runs strong in the roots of who they are. As much as I want to foster their independence and encourage them to chase their dreams, no matter how far that may take them from us, I hope if there's anything they've learned it's to always come home. I hope they find their wings and as much as we may not want to see them go, I hope that wherever their journeys may take them that one of their most favorite, frequent destinations to head is always home. <br />
<br />
Home is where family is. It's where those that love you for you, despite whatever your failures and successes may be, are always waiting to welcome you with open arms. Coming home is where you snag the precious gift of time. It's time to spend with those that won't always be there, time to see those that will grow up all too soon, time to reflect on memories, and a time to make new ones. Home is where a part of your heart will always live. <br />
<br />
So, my children, we will give you your wings but remember your roots and no matter where the roads in life may take you I hope they always lead you back to coming home. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsqd7Fe-rGvmLotdcimXADYkgbNSJA6wQOucUrInGRxAajKymxXgpbkjag0QeM0FSW5E0CmIUfzV5bQXpNaQnLeXZzmIKqYM1HaVI35nInEfYaORWkf2_d9TEsGNH5uZ6VXSTTTww3K2I/s1600/COME+HOME+POST.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsqd7Fe-rGvmLotdcimXADYkgbNSJA6wQOucUrInGRxAajKymxXgpbkjag0QeM0FSW5E0CmIUfzV5bQXpNaQnLeXZzmIKqYM1HaVI35nInEfYaORWkf2_d9TEsGNH5uZ6VXSTTTww3K2I/s320/COME+HOME+POST.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-32979652488954519982018-04-08T17:52:00.000-04:002018-04-08T17:57:54.552-04:00The Spousal Wars<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I never knew committing to spending a lifetime to share your life with someone would also mean preparing to duke it out over the same petty battles day after day. Almost thirteen years into this living together thing and we still continue to fight over the following things:<br />
<br />
1. Laundry: We disagree on everything with the laundry from how to sort it to how to fold it. He says we sort clothes based on water temperature and I say we sort them based on color. I am also notorious for forgetting to clean out the lint thing in the dryer. So between my cooking skills and this if the house ever catches on fire it probably is my fault. It's not just that we disagree on how to fold one thing in the laundry. We disagree on how towels, pants, and t shirts all get folded. At this point I have consented to folding pants and t shirts his way, but I totally refold all his towels otherwise they wouldn't fit in my cabinet. <br />
<br />
2. The heat in the house: He's constantly turning the heat up to 70 or higher and because I'm constantly moving and like to sleep cold I'm constantly turning it back down to like 65. Then he'll ask who touched the heat as if he doesn't know. Then I'll shrug my shoulders as if I have no idea how the heat got turned down or off. And almost thirteen years later this comical ridiculous battle of wills still continues between us and neither of us are willing to consent to a happy temperature in the middle. <br />
<br />
3. Socks: So apparently I own no socks and they are all his. It seems like every pair I put on he claims are his. I know he buys himself socks frequently. I don't really remember the last time I bought myself socks but socks are socks, right? I'm sure I own socks. I think. Unless they're all the mismatched ones in the basket. It's even gotten to the point where if I'm sitting in my chair with my feet up, wearing "his" socks he'll walk by and snatch them off my feet and throw them across the room just to antagonize me. However, this has not convinced me to go buy my own package of socks so I share continue this ridiculous battle of the socks with him. <br />
<br />
4. Bathroom: Really, it sounds like this is a spousal battle in every house. But in particularly in mine it never fails just as I'm getting ready to take my shower in the evenings is when he decides to do his business he's supposedly been holding off on doing all day. I swear a must in our next house is going to be one of those toilet closest things for the bathroom where the toilet is closed off from the rest of the bathroom. It's going to have double sinks too because he may complain about my long hair clogging up the shower drain but his razor sharp facial hair clogs up the sink and I swear he spends more time in that bathroom getting ready than I do. And he has no hair so I'm not quite sure what takes so long. <br />
<br />
5. The Car Charger: I'm not really sure why in this day and age but our cars always seem to only have one car charger. Because he's usually the one to buy them he claims first dibs so I usually wait until he's not looking and then switch the charger to my phone. Whenever we're fighting over who gets to use it on our long road trips he'll stop and pick up another one. Except they never seem to last very long because supposedly I break them all. Because they always seem to quit working right after being left in my car or after my phone has used them does not mean necessarily that I broke them. He always tells me I'm going to buy the next one. But I know I can outlast him on the whole sharing thing so he always ends up buying the next one. <br />
<br />
I'm sure the ridiculous battles between us that have continued for the past thirteen years is longer than these five but these childish spousal battles are some of our favorites. What do you and your spouse fight over constantly but find too much humor in driving each other a little crazy that you don't see the battle ending anytime soon?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDio7zd2tBQq0LHz-jCBuawtBdYk_sI4FPTyeF9LISEFXdnB9DdZ3Xr02vXiMpZ8DDBRxfyr4f5EEw8L6GqYF749-y5QOkE3ZavdmPU-4nX_wTygtA4wxTRLICf6sIbL_kIT4i5GcfxqI/s1600/IMG_3807.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1477" data-original-width="1600" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDio7zd2tBQq0LHz-jCBuawtBdYk_sI4FPTyeF9LISEFXdnB9DdZ3Xr02vXiMpZ8DDBRxfyr4f5EEw8L6GqYF749-y5QOkE3ZavdmPU-4nX_wTygtA4wxTRLICf6sIbL_kIT4i5GcfxqI/s320/IMG_3807.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Photo by <a href="https://sandiapantanoimagingandphotography.site123.me/about-me">Sandia Imaging and Photography</a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-32116805494447619012018-04-02T21:48:00.001-04:002018-04-02T21:52:25.706-04:00Doing the Hard Things<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
When I was seventeen the other pitcher on our team took a ball to the face and was out the rest of the season right before we were headed to Regionals. Everyone it seemed was pleading with the coach, who happened to be my dad, to pick up another pitcher before the big tournament. Without her I was the only pitcher they had left. Now to give them the benefit of the doubt I had struggled that season and though my younger self had gone out there and pitched a whole tournament I kind of doubted myself whether I could do it or not at this time. But the old man believed in me when even I doubted myself. I threw eight games that week and took us up through the loser's bracket to medal third in the semi finals game. Though we were one game short of the championship I did what I didn't think I could do.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I remember when I was twenty-one and headed into my senior year of college and it felt like between working and schoolwork I was just drowning in work. I remember telling my ex boyfriend that I didn't think I could do it. My parents didn't pressure me into going to college as they didn't so surely they wouldn't really care if I didn't finish. But he said something to me that I still remember to this day when I think I can't do certain things. He told, "You will finish because you always do the hard things you or others don't think you can do." He was right. I was just being whiny and dramatic. I finished as the first female in my mom's family to earn a college degree. My sister, cousins, and even my aunt would follow not too far behind me but I did show that it could be done. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I was twenty-three I told my family and friends I was moving halfway across the country with my boyfriend of the past year. That line of haters and critics stretched clear around the next corner, and I was the first one in that line. It would never work. I wouldn't last a month away from home and my family. I was a stupid, naive kid that didn't know shit. Well, that naive kid that didn't know shit was fairly accurate because well wisdom at twenty- three isn't exactly the smartest time in any of our lives. If building a life with someone else with nothing but two empty bank accounts, two broken down cars, a newly crippled dog, a microwave, and TV 1100 + miles from home didn't teach me a little perserverance and grit then there isn't much hope for me, but here we are almost thirteen years later. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When I was thirty-three I had just suffered through my second miscarriage in an attempt for a third baby after barely gaining a sense of balance with career and motherhood of two after a year long PPD episode as it was. Well meaning people told me maybe it was best to not try for the third and to give up that dream. The loudest voice to just give up was my own voice but we all know how that story ended with baby boy Glenn.<br />
<br />
Now here I am at thirty-six struggling personally and professionally. Some of it is due to the declining of my hearing and some of it is because honestly I get in my own damn way too much probably. A few years ago I think I thought I was reaching a point in life where I had nailed this adult life thing. I climbed my mountains. Now I could sit back, relax, and cruise through the rest of the ride that's life. I did the college and even the grad school thing, I started a career with great benefits, I was doing this whole marriage and family of five thing, we even got out of the paycheck to paycheck living and had our finances on a better path than those poor kids that came out here. Getting here with all of that was A LOT of work, overcoming a lot of doubt, uncertainty, and setbacks. So why the hell does there have to be more shit to work through and figure out? Why is there not a cruise control in life. It's just like driving down the interstate. I get the cruise control all set and then before I know it something is in my way and I have to take it off.<br />
<br />
I kind of think I've let the car stutter and die on the side of the road at this point. I've just been sitting here, looking this way and looking that way, trying to decide even what direction I should be heading in. Here's what I've realized of late of why I'm not getting the car back on the road headed in any definite direction. I'm sitting here, looking for the road ahead that is flat and smooth. It's not there. Every darn road in front of me, contains some kind of mountain that has to be climbed with no clear certainty of what's on the other side. I'm looking for a clear easy shot with a clear view of what's ahead on the horizon, and it's not there. It's not going to be there. No matter how long I sit here it's not going to just suddenly be there.<br />
<br />
Like too many times before I am my biggest obstacle in my own way. I don't want to consider the roads and the mountains ahead because I don't think I can do the hard things. At some point when we stare at the hard things- at the mountains and obstacles looming in the distance, uncertain of whether failure or success awaits us on the other side- we have to realize the loudest voice of criticism and doubt is all too often our own. We can do the hard things we don't think we can do. I can do the hard things I don't think I can do. No the road to those things is not smooth, flat, and easy. There are two things-one professional in regards to my career with my struggles with my hearing loss and one personal in regards to myself and relationships- that are going to require doing some hard things. But I've come to see the only thing standing in my own of doing the hard things is myself.<br />
<br />
So when we don't think we can do the hard things we have to remind ourselves of all the hard things we have done, and then we have to get out of our own way because we can do the hard things.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO56XdLdqMI0EzCJw1NF_Fe23_LB8dLpJyqdjZvW-xojYZlxcNGMJtx45F0h552QiRG0Hia5BqPG69a-h-Sc1XGrqiXT6wHrHrInI3ccMMfBLTYSrh9lOV4PPovX99IHb761c9O6JlW0c/s1600/hard+things.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="969" data-original-width="969" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO56XdLdqMI0EzCJw1NF_Fe23_LB8dLpJyqdjZvW-xojYZlxcNGMJtx45F0h552QiRG0Hia5BqPG69a-h-Sc1XGrqiXT6wHrHrInI3ccMMfBLTYSrh9lOV4PPovX99IHb761c9O6JlW0c/s320/hard+things.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Photo provided by <a href="https://willowgrovechurch.wordpress.com/2016/10/10/doing-the-hard-thing/">Willow Grove Church</a><br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-12278102165318658552018-03-15T21:24:00.002-04:002018-03-15T21:42:46.004-04:00Nothing Changes if You Don't Choose Something Different<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I have wanted something different for myself career wise for some time now. What exactly is where I seem to change my mind with the change of the wind direction. In the past two to five years I have considered doing courses to become a childbirth educator and lactation consultant to work with new mothers, I have considered going into the restaurant business with my husband, I've considered getting a second Masters to become a school library media specialist to possibly work in even an elementary school, I've considered looking into revisiting my current masters to see what I need to do to get my official counseling certification, I even briefly considered a PhD in women and family studies as I always said if I was going to go back to school it might as well be for a PhD at this point, I've considered sticking with teaching but moving towards part time to the point of working 2-3 days a week on an A/B block schedule and working on my writing, and we have looked into doing a 1-2 year out of the country teaching assignment. By considering all of these I mean I have emailed and contacted people about programs and steps forward. For all of them. I have folders of notes and action plans for a good half of them too. As of last month I was halfway through the hiring process with an investment firm right here in the town where I live with the opportunity to be running my own office within five years. Though I kindly declined the offer to pursue the opportunity I was left with an open invitation to let them know if I changed my mind.<br />
<br />
So what am I going to do? So many options so just choose one already, right? It's kind of like being 17 again though. But this time I have adult things on my mind- like money. How much income will I lose and how do we account for that? How much will it cost to get all new certifications and qualifications to do something different? What is the max potential income and if I can make what I make now how long until I reach that? <br />
<br />
What about health insurance? I've carried ours for the past eight years as my husband's position is paid for out of Title I funds so how much will that cost us to pick it up elsewhere? Will it be anywhere as good as what we have? Will my husband possibly ever be able to carry the insurance and if so when? <br />
<br />
What about my time? This is as huge of a consideration as money. Am I going to lose time at home with my family? Will this give me the opportunity to be home more with my family? Will this offer me flexibility with my time to be there for the endless things that come up with kids? <br />
<br />
Purpose, satisfaction, and happiness- these things matter to me in what I do with my work time. I have always loved to work. I love the sense of accomplishment and purpose with working. I don't do it just to make money. I like to do something that's with people- helping and/or serving people. Even when I was 16 working at the Dari B, I loved the opportunity to serve my beloved community their favorite treat 🙂 So how could this choice or that choice give me a sense of purpose and satisfaction? In what ways will it make me happier? In what ways will it make me less STRESSED? Is it going to be more stress at first because adjusting to change- even change you want- is usually a lot of hard, stressful work in the beginning? If so, how long until I'm settled and comfortable in my changed situation?<br />
<br />
For years it's been let me pay more things off, let me build up more of a nest egg of back up funds, let me wait until my husband figures out what he's doing next, let me wait until the kids are a bit older, especially if it involves a lot of work time from me at first. <br />
<br />
But I hate being in limbo. I hate waiting; though I've been waiting a long time for this. So last week I made a decision. I talked to our Human Resource office and switched the intent on my teaching contract for next year to part time! Now, before I get too overly excited about this, I can't do my desired straight part time where I work 2-3 days yet, but I can swing what's considered a .7 or .8 in which rather than working 7 hours every day I'd work more like 5. My ideal hope with this is I could work something like 930-230 or 10-3 rather than my current 730-230. If I could get luck on my side and end up in a school a half hour closer to my house I could gain three hours a day back at home to hopefully balance this working mom life thing a little better. I'd be the one home with the kids in the morning, even getting them on the bus, and I'd still be back home like I am now by the time they got off the bus at 4. But rather than going to bed by 10 for my 545 alarm I could stay up until 1130 due to a 730 alarm. My hope then is to use my extra time to first pursue monetizing my writing more. There is this online writing course, strictly for writing content for motherhood websites and magazines, that I've been wanting to take so I plan to start there. I could very well fail at the writing for steady income thing, but at least I'd know I tried, and while I'm trying I have my new Thirty-One business to carry the income I hope to eventually replace with a steady writing income. <br />
<br />
If that did fail I think I'd use my time as all my kids got into school to go back to school myself- whether it'd be to become a school library media specialist, get my PhD in women and family studies, check into what to do to get my official counseling license, or get my certification to become a childbirth educator and lactation consultant- my 36 year old self isn't exactly sure but maybe my 40 year old self will have a better idea of what she wants to do/be when she grows up. By then maybe my husband will decide he wants to teach out of the country or hire me as his business financial manager as he starts a restaurant. <br />
<br />
Now in order for this to work the way I hope the trick is I now have to find a school that has the part time position I'm looking for. These positions are HARD to find, but when they are there I imagine they are also hard to fill. I have the next four months to find this ideal part time position that I'm looking for. I also plan on applying to a neighboring county in hopes of widening my search net. But then come the first of July, if I haven't found the part time position I'm looking for, I am reconsidering the investment firm's offer. Though it'll be a tough transition at first and demand a lot of my time because they do pay for me to study, train, and take their certification courses; within a year I cannot only be settled into it, be working a much more flexible schedule right here in town where my kids are and able to put them on the bus in the mornings, but making the same if not more money than I already do. There are pros and cons to both, and though I like the long range potential of working with the investment firm, my hope is to first have the opportunity to see what teaching part time is like for me as it is hard to imagine my life without it. It may have it's incredibly stressful, thankless days but there are also many things I would miss about it. <br />
<br />
I am gone ten hours a day right now from the time I leave shortly after 6 until I get home around 4. With three little kids at home, no family around for help, and a husband in a leadership position that has the same hours as me, I need to be more available to my family. I need more balance in my work/family life. I can't attempt to get that if I don't change anything so I hope switching my contract to part time is just the first step in making a choice to take a chance to try something different in hopes that I can find the change I've been looking for. <br />
<br />
Wish me luck as I am a horribly impatient person when it comes to uncertainty and the unknown in situations like this and often make quick decisions that come from impatience rather than desire. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZVtyqIo9Gzv3ilJ4tHvlkW59MjuIKuMOOwjF5OEvPfI3xRKt1wD4Dtu5magsblTRFjNBkLJqspAqQQZmILbqGlR5FftmLEkY9f8JiqWmndDaNWDwdUrZfjeztHk6y7CGBUPFj83sBEK4/s1600/change.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="195" data-original-width="259" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZVtyqIo9Gzv3ilJ4tHvlkW59MjuIKuMOOwjF5OEvPfI3xRKt1wD4Dtu5magsblTRFjNBkLJqspAqQQZmILbqGlR5FftmLEkY9f8JiqWmndDaNWDwdUrZfjeztHk6y7CGBUPFj83sBEK4/s1600/change.png" /></a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-88963244516452241252018-03-14T19:32:00.000-04:002018-05-01T22:00:46.611-04:00To the Students that Walked out Today<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
To the Students that Walked Out of Class,<br />
<br />
I'm not writing you today as a teacher. I'm writing to you as the mother of young children. I'm putting the safety of their future in our schools and public places in your hands. Though I have maybe doubted your authority to take on such a arduous task as I watched you lead the way today and in the days ahead I trust you with the journey you are taking on because you reminded me today though there will be those in your generation that don't take this fight seriously more of you than not are more than ready to fight the road ahead. <br />
<br />
This is where I do commend my fellow teachers. We have prepared you to lead and as my father use to say about raising children we do our best, hope we taught you the right things, and then we have to put our trust in you to pave the right road ahead. Know we are putting our trust in you to lead this fight. <br />
<br />
Every generation has its bad apples. Don't let the critics of older generations fool you into thinking you are not worthy to lead this cause.There are more of you than not that work hard, push yourself to meet those constant increasing expectations of our society, that promote love and acceptance in the way you treat your fellow human. As teachers we have seen the worst of you but we have also seen the great promise you have to offer our future. The enemy will try to paint you all as lazy, uncaring, too addicted to your technology to understand the world around you. They will focus on the worst of you but you must show them the best of you over and over again as you carry on this fight.<br />
<br />
I am not completely sure myself what all the right changes are that need to be made but I do know change is a must if we are going to see a better future for young babes like mine so I commend you on standing up and saying we are the generation that's going to say enough is enough. <br />
<br />
It will not be an easy fight. You will be criticized, mocked, doubted, undermined but don't give up the fight - the safety of my children and your future children depend on you standing your ground in this very moment. Keep demanding change, keep demanding to be heard, keep pushing for a more tolerant, accepting society where despite our race, religion, sexuality, nationality you stand for all of humanity. <br />
<br />
For every critic shouting at you to stand down there is an uprising following behind you, ready to fight this fight with you. You will lead the change that has been decades in the making.<br />
<br />
To those of you that didn't walk out today, that's okay too. You deserve your say too. Pave the way in how to reconcile differences among people. Show those watching how to respect the opposing side; how to listen to what the other side has to say. You can lead the way towards change too in how things can't just be the right's way or the left's way but that there's a way somewhere in the middle that will work for the majority of us. <br />
<br />
There is a better world for us. As a mother to three young children I have to believe that. I am putting my faith in that belief in your hands right now. To those that are my students, those that are my peers' students, and to the students across this nation, you are writing history right now. You can change the story of violence that has darkened our world so though today the fight may be gun control this is just the beginning in making us a better world. There is much to reconcile, undo, and change in the journey ahead, but if you can make the world a safer place for my children I am forever in your generation's debt. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
A Mother of young children <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHR1dhGpDBckwQeJDNi-fPCnhJ1WVXTShPF32wgE0OkE1U-jUFkqD-9_9uuBpQU3cwVHY8-VUk-SUM1-gS4e0OhivoJe_UYJYb_0JNpSg1PSKNU00jOldxjOxAWz-57cEt-DFdd1Wn6Ng/s1600/enough.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHR1dhGpDBckwQeJDNi-fPCnhJ1WVXTShPF32wgE0OkE1U-jUFkqD-9_9uuBpQU3cwVHY8-VUk-SUM1-gS4e0OhivoJe_UYJYb_0JNpSg1PSKNU00jOldxjOxAWz-57cEt-DFdd1Wn6Ng/s320/enough.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-24910360801043385482018-03-11T17:53:00.003-04:002018-03-12T21:02:15.925-04:00What Has Women Frustrated with Their Husbands?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">This <a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/why-moms-are-so-angry/?utm_source=FBOnsite">article by Scary Mommy</a> stirred up quite the debate between my husband and I. He always goes to his best defense when articles or discussions about the balance between men and women is brought up- it's man bashing and he does help around the house so it's bullshit. As I told him for at least the second or third time we've had this similar debate, the argument is never about him helping around the house as he has met that expectation long ago. </span></span><br />
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">But where the problem lies for why women are often angry or frustrated with their husbands is because they feel undervalued, underappreciated, overlooked, and criticized for their flaws more than for the things they do right. As a working woman- in a field that is undervalued, underappreciated, and criticized- I suffocate at times from feeling like this. Though it was a frustrating conversation on both of our parts to have, I am glad I finally spoke up to tell him I see this as a real problem that shouldn't just be ignored as a bitchy woman moment. </span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">If men want the bitchy woman thing to subside, they have to understand us better. Honestly, as I told him over the course of ten plus years of marriage I've come to realize men cannot read our minds. I don't know about you but I think sometimes I thought bitchy, passive aggressive behavior would communicate to him what was bothering or upsetting me. I can tell you it doesn't work. We have to speak up for ourselves and that is on us. I can tell you a productive argument where you really say the things that you keep bottled inside can lead to better results. Typically in our case not right away because we both always think we're right and can't in the moment admit we're wrong or could work on being better to the other person. But I have seen both of us work on changing our behaviors after these little arguments so I'm hopeful by voicing my frustration and hurt things can change for the better. </span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">I've talked to enough women over the years to know that feeling undervalued, underappreciated, and over criticized is not something I am alone to experiencing. Scary Mommy's article about why women are so angry is not the first article ever written about trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with women because this is not a new problem between men and women. I think quite simply men<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"> have no idea what it's like to be in our shoes. Not that we know what it's like to be in theirs. But we feel like they have no idea what we do, and remind us of that when they ask that damn question one too many times of "What is it we do all day" or in my case all afternoon before he gets home. </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">There is much that we as women do behind the scenes that is all too often is overlooked and taken for granted. To point this out to him I ran through the things I take care of for our family that he's oblivious to that he never has to think about managing in his day because I do it- running our family budget to include the $$ for all our travels, actually making sure all the bills are paid for the month, the round up of lunches and bags and daycare materials for each day, making sure kids' field trip and yearbook forms and everything else is signed and paid for on time, managing the family calendar to know who has to be where when, running kids to meetings after school and back before he even gets home from work, scheduling everyone's appointments and even knowing when they need to be scheduled, corresponding with other parents for playdates and pick ups or RSVPing for that party or this wedding, planning the kids' birthday parties, renewing insurance policies and utilities, signing the kids up for all their sports and activities and school registrations, getting outside with the kids after school and working on their latest balling skill, laying in bed with them at the end of every night trying tirelessly to get them finally settled some nights, managing the running grocery list of all the things we run out of throughout the week. I imagine most moms mental to do list is similar to mine. This never ending mental to do list that they never even have to think about is the hamster wheel of never ending chaos that runs through our minds every DAMN day. It's so MENTALLY exhausting so yes, we are stressed trying to remember to take care of it all so that shortens our patience but then to even question what it is we do with our time or that we don't do enough - oh buddy, you are so asking to unleash a storm of fiery rage upon yourself. </span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span><br />
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">My suggestion to husbands to understand your wife's frustration a bit: don't act like if the house is a mess we must not be doing anything productive with our day; don't complain or make her feel like she's a bad wife or mother because at the end of the day she gets out her computer, book, knitting, or whatever it is she likes to do to finally unwind. Don't make her feel like a bad mom because she needs a break from the kid that's been whining at her feet for hours while you were at work or out with the guys or that she hands over the kid to you at bedtime because spending an hour on that fight is the last straw on her patience. Realize the way we see it is that it always seems like it's okay to let mom take care of the kids while dad does his thing but guilt is imposed on us for doing what men do guilt free because the expectation is still that mom takes the lead with the kids. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">Please realize the contradicting expectations we face. My husband and I were arguing about our failed parenting when it comes to putting our kids to bed. He was criticizing me for not doing a better job of putting the kids to bed, but then turned around and told me it was my choice to not give myself an hour of down time at the end of the day like he gets after we all go to bed because my day starts a good hour before his. In order to meet his expectations of being a better bedtime enforcer on my own I have to give up my hour of down time at the end of the day and that statement right there said it all to me in the contradicting expectations of what moms face. Men/husbands don't face that- they aren't up against the same criticism and unrealistic expectations that we as women and mothers are and that is why we get angry and bitter and frustrated at husbands.</span></span></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">So, husbands, you should never question whether she is productive enough with her time by asking her what she's done all day. If she does choose to take an hour, an afternoon or evening, and even a whole DAMN day to herself and do whatever the hell she wants you do NOT question it, you do not complain, you do NOT make her feel guilty. There's a reason why there are silly memes about what's on a woman's mind verse what's on a man's. You can't even imagine the mental load she carries so to avoid the wrath of women take note of the things she does and just recognize them rather than what she didn't do that day that you expected of her. Mention the things she does well with your kids and in what ways she's a good mom, recognize what she does to take care of the family, see what she does that no one else does or that she does that you can't do. It's not about laundry, dishes, cleaning the toilet or who is making what money to pay for what. It's about seeing the things we do that go unnoticed. It's about not making us feel invincible and undervalued. It's about accepting she's not perfect, it's about understanding that she makes mistakes but not using those to value her worth, it's not expecting her to always be some overly happy 1950s wife but understanding that she carries a lot on her plate and some days it tires and overwhelms her but she'll be up and right back at it all tomorrow. </span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJuMV71veO1BA-BLaivCWVnc5NVg8KPlO__7D0mVhnoms-GblLk9cI7mR1OhfglbphaZ9teQNfpxAh2Jykm8Z-S9gNreASl9ptxSbYc_OsN47rPIR7YftUqwC4mN_zpXYh4Ja6GdGCJfs/s1600/burden+of+women.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="683" data-original-width="1024" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJuMV71veO1BA-BLaivCWVnc5NVg8KPlO__7D0mVhnoms-GblLk9cI7mR1OhfglbphaZ9teQNfpxAh2Jykm8Z-S9gNreASl9ptxSbYc_OsN47rPIR7YftUqwC4mN_zpXYh4Ja6GdGCJfs/s320/burden+of+women.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Photo provided by <a href="https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/job-stress-gm186825500-17034551">IStock by Getty Images</a> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span> </div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true">
</span></span></span></span><br />
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0">
<span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"><span data-offset-key="ff1m6-0-0"><span data-text="true"></span></span></span></span></span></span> </div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-41606816505726220682018-02-27T20:33:00.002-05:002018-02-27T20:39:47.939-05:00Your Memory Box of Childhood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"One day all these great memories will be forgotten," she said, her little voice cutting in between the laughter. <br />
<br />
"What?" I asked. Forgotten? These childhood moments of laughter and joy that we filled their childhood memory box with she was going to forget?!?<br />
<br />
"Yeah, we won't remember this exact moment of having a dance party in the living room with you on a school night or exactly what had us all laughing in the car last night," she said. <br />
<br />
I stared at her, my momma's heart wanting to argue and deny the truth to her claim. How did she know so much at six? Did they teach such deep wisdom in kindergarten these days? To an extent I suppose she was right. They probably wouldn't remember exact moments like these that occurred on random school nights in the living room or what exactly happened that had us all laughing in some random moments we were all piled in the car on the way to Girl Scouts one night.<br />
<br />
But my wise beyond your years girl, all these random moments will fill your childhood memory box. Just you wait and see. You may not remember this exact moment but you will recall a childhood where your parents would occasionally dance around the living room or kitchen with you at the end of the day. You'll recall a childhood where your parents would pile you and your brother and sister in the car and take you from one activity to the next or from "one adventure" to the next whether it was going out for a winter hike in the woods or across country on another vacation, putting in your head at just five years old that when you were big and working that you were going to take your kids "adventuring like us". You'll recall a childhood where your parents went out and played ball in the yard with you after school or took you for a long run or walk with them. You'll recall a childhood where from as far as you can remember you'd bake with your mom and learn to cook from your dad. You'll recall a childhood that despite the chores you complain of doing every day after school or that you had to make your own lunch for school from the time you were in kindergarten that was full of love and family and yes more wonderful memories than you can count or individually remember. Your childhood memory box will be overflowing, my dear girl. You won't necessarily remember every moment that made your little girl heart feel so happy and loved, but you will remember you were happy and loved throughout.<br />
<br />
Childhood is what shapes our hope, our perception of the world, our own visions for family and happiness. Your childhood memory box, dear girl, will be full because though you may not remember exact moments like yesterday or today you're getting one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child- a childhood worth remembering. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAf0L8wN6IS_xLP4ruvXhqbfdHhM0jfdFtASThNaIMTz3OX-29gqdK2-mFXTZvn4yHww2VUHCtzExavTyRuknXPw1-EipJLznynWqLsuzPgu_2W-zMjrl7-lbcqokLeKrtt1eyhxXX3kg/s1600/kenz+for+childhood.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAf0L8wN6IS_xLP4ruvXhqbfdHhM0jfdFtASThNaIMTz3OX-29gqdK2-mFXTZvn4yHww2VUHCtzExavTyRuknXPw1-EipJLznynWqLsuzPgu_2W-zMjrl7-lbcqokLeKrtt1eyhxXX3kg/s320/kenz+for+childhood.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Don't grow up too fast, my girl. </div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-48300128347260349502018-02-16T14:57:00.000-05:002018-02-16T17:47:36.425-05:00From the FRONT Lines<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I had to stand in front of my students the past two days and go over with them how in the situation of an active shooter we had three doors and fourteen windows to secure as quickly as possible. The scared look on their faces as I gravely reminded them of the very real threat we face today in our schools is one I won't easily forget. As a student mentioned, "It's scary how NOT far fetched the reality of this happening has become." <br />
<br />
That reality is what has me sad, worried, and downright angry. This should NOT be the state of America! This is NOT the kind of America I want my kids to grow up in! This is NOT what I got into teaching for! This is absolutely unacceptable. I'm upset about this as an educator and as a parent, and we need some real solutions, not ridiculous political bickering where we all talk in circles until the moment passes and then we drop it again until the next shooting occurs. <br />
<br />
This is a serious epidemic for our children. They ARE NOT SAFE. They are not safe when they go with the friends to the movies. They are not safe when they go hang out with their friends at the mall. They are not safe even when they go to school every day. These mass shootings are occurring in places where our children are NO LONGER SAFE. Yet I will continue to send my children out into these unsafe places. You will continue to send your children out. We will continue to send our children out into UNSAFE environments! I'd like to think I'm being dramatic or that my emotions are just on overdrive and ruling any rational thought I may have. But maybe we haven't let our emotions move us towards change enough. Maybe it's that suffocating sadness, anger, and fear that will drive us to change. <br />
<br />
I began my journey into education almost twenty years ago, a year and a half after Columbine. Never did I imagine a time where people would be having real conversations about arming teachers. I can't believe I just said that because people really believe that is the solution here- to arm teachers. I grew up with guns, I know how to shoot and handle a gun, and we are gun owners, but if I wanted to carry a gun to work every day I would have went into the military or police academy. You want teachers who have never had the mental or physical training to be the front line of defense in our streets or in our wars to now be our front line of defense in the biggest war on our children! Really, does that sound like the greatest change to make? <br />
<br />
Why don't we put our military veterans to work as guards around our schools. Government wants to talk big about caring about veterans and our children- put them to work in front of our schools and we work towards solving two problems. Yes, that is definitely going to cost money but supposedly these are two of the most important things to our government. Though I like the idea of putting veterans to work and giving them the opportunity to be find themselves a purpose and sense of belonging in a school community we have to have greater solutions than fighting gun violence with more guns. <br />
<br />
Yes, I could too make a case for our gun laws being evaluated with how easy it so to obtain a gun and do we really need a military gun on the market, but we have a cultural problem here too that needs to be addressed, people. We have created a cultural mentality that going into a busy area and shooting up innocence people is an acceptable way to handle personal frustration and setbacks. That broken mentality doesn't change with changed gun laws. We have to change the mindset. We have to change the people. We have to change ourselves and we have to be the change. <br />
<br />
Education policy has stripped us of school discipline and accountability of students in so many ways, yet we think the answer is to arm teachers to now shoot their possible students. We can barely discipline them but we should now be expected to shoot them? The changes over the years of trying not to suspend because it looks bad for data numbers, the policies of not taking their phones and forcing them to disconnect for a few hours, or the we can't penalize them for late assignments, and honestly the list of all the policy changes that have taken discipline and accountability of education away, I hate to say, has a role in what we're seeing. <br />
<br />
Not only are students not given discipline or expected accountability anymore but parents need to be held accountable for the behaviors and actions of their children. It is scary the number of physical altercations I could recite from the family and friends I know that work in public education. Parents don't feel any more sense to discipline or hold their kids accountable than the kids themselves because as a society we don't hold anyone accountable anymore. Though I'm not in the criminal justice system I've heard scary policy changes of not even holding criminals as accountable as we once did. Why not do whatever the hell you want to do if the consequences are so little? <br />
<br />
I've preached for a long time that required parenting classes should be a must for parents of troubled youth. Do you know how many parents over the past fourteen years I've talked to that don't know what to do about their troubled youth? Some parents didn't have the greatest parent models themselves, or they just lack the resources or support they need to figure out this parenting thing so give them the help that some of them so desperately want. Invest some money in teaching parents how to parent! Invest some consequences in holding parents accountable for raising respectful citizens. <br />
<br />
While we're investing money in education and change that might make a difference how about some classes that teach kids things like empathy, coping skills, civil discourse, peer mediation? Or programs in schools that actively combat bullying and raise awareness and resources for mental health? <br />
<br />
Changed education policy of the past two decades I believe too is just widening the gap between the haves and the have nots. We are either dismissing the troubled and struggling students by not enforcing discipline or accountability and making loop holes for them to "get through" so it looks good on our school numbers. Or we are drowning the achievers and go getters in unrealistic expectations and pressure to perform on the athletic fields and in the classrooms at a level beyond decades ago because again it looks good for school numbers. They're pressured with the idea that to have a good life more, more, and more is needed of them. Both of these extremes I believe are contributing to the mental health crisis of today. Again, all government or education policy is concerned about are their damn numbers and not our kids. The kids are just their pawns, and now they have become their victims. <br />
<br />
The reality of this is downright scary. There are so many problems to fix, but we waste our time pointing fingers so let's stop pointing fingers and make some real change. While we wait on government and policy to fight over who is to blame I get up every morning to go off to one school, while my husband goes to another, and my two daughters go to a different one. Across the country I have countless friends that walk out that door too to also head to their schools; I have two cousins, a sister, and an aunt that all head off to school every morning. My friends' kids and my nieces and nephews head off to school every morning. There are countless schools across this nation where someone I know and care about goes each day. The reality that one day, that breaking news story of another school shooting , is going to be their school is getting closer and closer the longer we do nothing. When someone is military or police or you marry into the military or police life, you know it comes with the expectation that you or the person you love may not make it home. This is now all of our realities. I get that no one is promised another day or even another moment. Something can happen to any of us at any time, but here in America we now have to worry about death by the violence of bullets in our own classrooms. This is NOW our reality. This is now our children's reality! <br />
<br />
Our government has failed us. Absolutely failed us and put our children in the line of fire in front of a hail of bullets. So to wait on our government to protect us at this point seems a loss cause. We can't wait. We need to be talking to our the leaders in our schools. What security protocols needs to be updated in the building? Figure out a way to raise those funds asap. What programs are in place for mental health? What programs are in place for parents of troubled students? How are students being held accountable and taught to get overcome failure and setbacks? WE DO THEM NO FAVORS BY NOT LETTING THEM FAIL. Start talking and start working together in our communities. The change starts with us.<br />
<br />
To make change is going to take some money, it's going to take voices, it 's going to take ACTION.<br />
But what do I know? I'm just a teacher, a teacher on the front lines of a war against our children. <br />
<br />
It's time to step up, America, and do the right thing for our kids' futures. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjIWq5Ia3AAJgNbXdFWbjBsQy5U9Y3n3YmKuoB_XaM4xAYFSBqt5Pa52XuXmBfoIbdNVPgscPoWD9iLV7ahe9NwB2ijSOWO_6QW3S90kK0ZtD5JpLj08BpAwN2BN0sunNIARGRe2orBcI/s1600/SchoolViolence.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="282" data-original-width="480" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjIWq5Ia3AAJgNbXdFWbjBsQy5U9Y3n3YmKuoB_XaM4xAYFSBqt5Pa52XuXmBfoIbdNVPgscPoWD9iLV7ahe9NwB2ijSOWO_6QW3S90kK0ZtD5JpLj08BpAwN2BN0sunNIARGRe2orBcI/s320/SchoolViolence.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.tc.columbia.edu/continuing-professional-studies/programs/all-offerings/school-violence-prevention--intervention/">Picture from Columbia University</a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-72461247706251052532018-02-01T14:11:00.002-05:002018-02-05T17:12:26.727-05:00Gender Equality Between the Sexes???<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
When it comes to gender equality or the existence of inequality still in
today's society there are many arguments about whether there is still inequality and in what ways that inequality still exists.
It's 2018; women have had the right to vote for almost a hundred years, the
laws of today say we're equal so where's the inequality some like to ask??<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
My students and I actually had an interesting conversation about this when
we read Sojourner Truth's <em>Ain't I a Woman</em>. A student pointed out that the argument about the issues of equality isn't
about our laws. Our laws state equality, but our social expectations and
behaviors is where inequality is still alive and well. We also talked about how
with Emma Watson's <em>Equality is Your Issue Too</em> that feminism is not
just about women but about these misleading social expectations and behaviors
we as a society project onto both men and women. I've heard the arguments against the existence of gender inequality in today's society but here me out for a moment on the ways inequality still exist when it comes to our 21st century social norms, expectations, and behaviors. I'm not even going to touch on political issues; these are every day ways any of us- men and women- could still experience gender inequality.<br />
<br />
I only have my own experiences to speak from here and though neither
my father nor my husband have ever made me feel oppressed because I'm a woman,
there are interesting things I've taken note of lately about inequality when it
comes to our behaviors and expectations. Maybe there are some here you’ve seen
firsthand for yourself. Again, this isn't just about women but also how men face it themselves and if you have not read Emma Watson's <a href="http://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2014/9/emma-watson-gender-equality-is-your-issue-too">Equality is Your Issue Too</a> check it out or watch the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YQPLepzCYU">video.</a><br />
<br />
1.The unspoken social expectation that men pay and are the ones making the financial
decisions: <br />
<br />
Both when dealing with the sales people for the estimate on our
bathroom remodel this summer and in shopping for a car for me, I found it quite
annoying that the salesman tended to direct his questions and information to my
husband over me, even after my husband said I was the one making the final
financial decisions in both situations. It’s not like either was rude, but I
think it’s just one of those social habits the same way handing the dinner tab
over to the man<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>rather than the woman is. As a woman who manages our family’s finances the unspoken
expectation that men are in control of the finances drives me crazy. It’s not
fair to men either to have the expectation that they should be the one paying
for dinner or anything and everything for that matter. Maybe on a first date it’s a gentlemanly thing to do, but I’ve also
seen girls that bum drinks off guys in a bar because of this ridiculous
notion that men should financially pay for women. So the financial expectation
that it’s a man's responsibility and women are incapable of handling<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>finances or financial decisions is a social norm we still need to work on. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div style="margin-left: 0.5in;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
2. The idea of one gender or the other being incapable because that’s just the
way “men” or “women” are:<br />
<br />
The thing that has killed me lately with this is that
some of the recent things told me have come from other older generational women
such as the expectation that I should take care of scheduling something for him
“because he’s a man”. Ummm, no he’s very capable of taking care of himself and
it’s rather insulting to him probably to suggest that he’s not capable. Or that
I can’t do something because “I’m a woman and my husband won’t let me.” I’m a
grown woman and my husband actually respects me to make my own decisions and
would be the last person to tell me what I can and cannot do just because I’m a
woman. Men are not incapable of taking care of tasks that have in past generations befallen on women, and women are not incapable of doing things on their own that they once had to have a male escort to do. Both are quite independent. <br />
<br />
<o:p> </o:p><br />
<br />
3. Telling a woman she can't do something with her children that her husband could do
because she's a woman and it's not safe:<br />
<br />
It is unfortunately
unfair that there is even some level of truth to this. As a parent of daughters
I often wonder how often we will use this concern for their safety against the threat
of men from preventing our daughters from doing something, yet we'll allow our son to do it. This is where as
a society we must do a better job of raising our sons and in teaching our
daughters how to be safe and cautious of their surroundings and situations in order to be capable of handling themselves in an unfavorable situation they may find themselves in. <br />
<br />
4. Expectations of household chores:<br />
<br />
Chaunie Brusie wrote this <a href="https://www.babble.com/parenting/treat-son-differently-ending-gender-stereotypes/">great piece for Babble</a> on how even as mothers with sons and daughters we tend to ask and expect our daughters to help out more around the house than our sons. Now in both her and my defense our sons followed after two older sisters so maybe if our sons were the first born we wouldn't have to more subconsciously make sure we're expecting the same out of our boys around the house that we are of our girls.As a woman that works out of the home as much as my husband I expect and he does contribute around the house as much as I do so therefore our sons should be held to the same expectations around the house as his sisters. There is no "the house is the woman's responsibility" around here. Now when there are large yard projects there are times he tackles the outside while I tackle inside but we're both helping and going with the projects we'd each prefer to tackle. When I am home in the summer and he's working I do try to get most of our housework done during the day while he's gone so both of us can have more restful evenings and weekends. We both cook, we both clean up, we both work on laundry, though he tends to tackle the outdoor work and I tend to do more of the actual house cleaning we've both pitched in on those when needed. When I surveyed a group of moms online it was refreshing to see that for the most part it was similar experience in their modern day lives too with their husbands. The days of husband coming home after work and watching TV all night are over, but so are the days of mom being home all afternoon watching her soaps. When it comes to social expectations and norms I actually feel like from my childhood to my experiences now this is one of the things that has made the greatest gains. Equality when it comes to husband and wife and the running of the household will look different for every family but the important thing is that it's an agreed balance in whatever designation of who's responsible for what looks like for each family. <br />
<br />
<br />
5. That the care of the children are primarily the woman’s responsibility:<br />
<br />
Trust me I get it that mom tends to be the default parent. How often do kids walk
right past dad next to the fridge to ask mom for milk in the next room? But men
are just as capable and in many cases do as much care taking of their children
as mom. My husband deals with the getting them ready and out the door every
morning by himself, he knows how to change diapers quite well, he’s gotten up
with them in the night, he’s taken them on his own to doctor’s appointment. And
to act like “wow, you came to the store with the kids by yourself without your
wife” is a compliment is actually insulting, insinuating that they are not
capable of being the primary caretaker of their children when in fact they can be. This is where I feel men get hit with the negative side of flawed gender expectations in our society. <br />
<br />
6. Women's battle with perfection to meet impossible expectations:<br />
<br />
It’s interesting to me that women tend to battle with meeting perfection
and have a higher case of mental disorders and attempted suicides than men. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tend to believe because there is this social
message out there that we’re not good enough. We’re not skinny or pretty enough
because we don’t measure up to some absurd image of perfection that is posted
all over magazines and the internet. As women if the house or kids aren't taken care of a certain way then the blame falls at our feet because the expectation is those things are our responsibilities over the man's, but if he falls short it's "well, at least you tried or that's more than what some do" and he is excused. There is this impossible expectation that women need to do it all today with career and home, but not nearly as much social pressure for a man to meet these higher expectations of performance (not saying there's not the expectation in our own individual homes but it's not there socially for men to the same regard as it is to women). If a woman stays home she's criticized in one regard, yet if she works she's criticized in another. Yes, we could definitely make the connection that the same negative image is projected onto men that stay home because again to think it's acceptable for a woman to stay home with the kids and not the man, is feeding into those gender stereotypes that feed the reality of the inequality we still face. <br />
<br />
7. Excusing boys behavior because "they re boys":<br />
<br />
As a
mother to a son and a son who is my youngest child at that, I have to really
self consciously train myself not to set this trap for him. I can’t excuse his
inability to follow directions, for being too rough, for lacking a sense of
responsibility and contribution to things around the house because “he’s the
boy”. We can't have the expectation that girls need to be quiet and obey, but excuse our boys from this "because they're boys". It's not right to either gender. <br />
<br />
As a mother of a son and daughters, I am suddenly taking stock of how these
social habits creep their way into my parenting because they do. If I don't
self consciously check myself I continue to feed these unfair social
norms to my daughters and son. Making change with these habits and expectations starts with how we treat our sons and daughters and husbands and wives in our own homes. With not even touching on the political issues of equal pay or reproductive rights and women's health, these are gender issues that are still in need of correcting and change in our modern day 21st century society so when people say they're feminist or for gender equality there is still definitely progress to be made. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrxNtVCUmvOnGzkC6vybnHPl35_cBcAfNW_SJzoISh5q98quLB1LVzSj8V_ItRCR9oy9pimIerEvXwFD4bOdeO26-Ntw08dUM871nWKMg-JmuqpQv8VNeAZL-p60DQ84EqEmd_jFxJKjQ/s1600/gender+equality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrxNtVCUmvOnGzkC6vybnHPl35_cBcAfNW_SJzoISh5q98quLB1LVzSj8V_ItRCR9oy9pimIerEvXwFD4bOdeO26-Ntw08dUM871nWKMg-JmuqpQv8VNeAZL-p60DQ84EqEmd_jFxJKjQ/s320/gender+equality.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Photo provided by <a href="https://guardian.ng/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/Gender-Equaility.jpg">Guardian</a><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-87492212659577611932018-01-23T18:38:00.003-05:002018-01-23T18:58:56.523-05:00No More<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The first month of the new year is almost over and I haven't written once. I've thought of things to write and then I've decided instead to work on our photo albums or binge watch Netflix. There's a part of me that's missed writing and a part that's enjoyed the break. There's a part of me that feels unproductive and lazy with all my Netflix watching of the past month, but a part of me that enjoys the peace of escaping into entertainment rather than tackling my list from morning to bedtime.<br />
<br />
As I watch my daughter so bent on doing so much- sports, clubs, being a part of every showcase event at school- I'm torn between praising her ambition and warning her of the consumption of chasing more.<br />
<br />
Yes, I have a list of accomplishments and all that I do and all that I am that I could easily and too often love to recite, but this is also why I think girls and women like me are consumed with anxiety and stress and overwhelmed. We are entrapped by the idea of more- we feel we always need to be more, reach for more, do more, give more, accomplish more. More, more, more, and more and here I am kind of tired of more. <br />
<br />
Maybe the stress and the anxiety will stop if I quit focusing on more. And that includes the more that everyone else thinks I need to give. Because sadly in some situations- life, work, family, friends- no matter how much we give it always seems like there's someone wanting more from us.<br />
<br />
So maybe to some I'm seen as quitting or being lazy or maybe finally smarter, but I think 2018 needs to be the year of less for me. Maybe when you look at it as do less, be less, accomplish less it does sound pretty unambitious, but I'd rather look at it as why do I need this idea of more. Why is everything here and now not enough? Do I really need more, do I really need to be more, do I really need to constantly be reaching for more because isn't right here, right now with who I am and what I've done enough. Isn't it good enough?<br />
<br />
I'm 36 years old and I like to think I've lived a fairly accomplished life up to this point. I don't say that to be boastful; I say it because no matter what's on each of our lists of who we are and what we've done we all owe it to ourselves to say "you know what I'm pretty proud of who I am, what I've done up to this point in my life, and if this is all there ever was this is enough. I am enough."<br />
<br />
Just standing in the middle of where we are, wherever that may be for each of us is more than enough. I think I just want to stand here in the land of more than enough for 2018. That doesn't mean I'm going to watch Netflix all day every day. But I'm consciously choosing not to make any specific goals of more: more pounds to lose, more writing to get published, more trips to any particular place(s), more home improvements or cleaning projects (though I really do want to change the girls room), more extracurricular and involvement at work. I'm just going to do what I feel like doing when I feel like it and no push for more or even anymore if I don't want to. If I feel like going for a run I'll go, if I want to pursue more publications I will, I'm definitely going to still go travel to more places I haven't been but maybe even making the time we spend traveling less rather more. But whatever I do choose to do however I choose to do it though I'll do because I want to in the moment; not because it's more I have to tackle off some ambition list or because something or someone convinces me I must pursue more. So my 2018 resolution isn't for more of anything but less of it all because here and now with what I got and where I am is more than enough.<br />
<br />
<br />
Why is there a need for more when this is the view of my life from the inside looking out. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgER1zuCQ2f5vbuTnsP7SY-s3vnVvWDpZm_qBtyqZGqOjNGvVNdQdaaTDhr5eVPl871I6SEKjQ6oKY_OYA2YyM9KzAi_v53SJul7KREGyClmZS2X1FHM3xX2iN41NTJPp1E4tsSbQrl9a4/s1600/No+More.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgER1zuCQ2f5vbuTnsP7SY-s3vnVvWDpZm_qBtyqZGqOjNGvVNdQdaaTDhr5eVPl871I6SEKjQ6oKY_OYA2YyM9KzAi_v53SJul7KREGyClmZS2X1FHM3xX2iN41NTJPp1E4tsSbQrl9a4/s320/No+More.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<strong></strong> </div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-27533506154402520132017-12-13T22:59:00.001-05:002017-12-13T22:59:35.336-05:002017 to 2018<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwbUWOFSyu2QcPAhbk48BI4eddwRf9SVssa-hTaC3bZTilsxSaT5-kRVvql8MQt9kz7zH7-UVQbtW144N9X-ZFfQ9gmJiNKCOHPU2l3UDNQqgDAp4drIy2qa_VBshjy3xNqzPItU_8lU/s1600/goals.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="927" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwbUWOFSyu2QcPAhbk48BI4eddwRf9SVssa-hTaC3bZTilsxSaT5-kRVvql8MQt9kz7zH7-UVQbtW144N9X-ZFfQ9gmJiNKCOHPU2l3UDNQqgDAp4drIy2qa_VBshjy3xNqzPItU_8lU/s320/goals.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Whoever said the years go by faster the older you get didn't really lie; however, at times this year felt really long. 2016 ended pretty rough and that continued onto the first half of 2017, but the second half has looked better so hoping that carries over into 2018. With the end of each year I like to have these little logged posts to look back on the year and look ahead at the next. <br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Family: </strong>We've become more sold on three kids it is in 2017 than we were in 2016. Though my sister welcomed her fourth child here at the end of 2017, I haven't yet felt that baby fever. My past two pregnancies and post partum periods were rough of me physically and mentally so first, I'm wimping out. Two, we have our hands full. With no family around for help and three of them outnumbering us I think we better keep the number manageable or we'll be in WAY over our heads instead of just over our heads! Third, money- it's expensive with three as it is with the activities, the meals out all the time between the traveling and activities, and we're trying to save a little bit of money to help them each with college, and there's our own retirement goals too which I'll talk about in a minute so the Glenns are staying a family of 5. <br />
<br />
The girls will sometimes ask me what I use to wish for as a child when it came to wanting kids. I'm sure my sisters and I weren't the only little girls that would play house and imagine our future children. I imagined two boys and then a little sister, but I always tell the girls God knew better than me what I wanted because he gave me exactly what I didn't know I really truly wanted. I love raising sisters and two girls after growing up with sisters myself and then leaving my sisters halfway across the country. I love that they're the first two and close in age. Then there's baby boy, which that is the boy that will forever now have my heart. There really is something magical about a momma and her baby boy. And thank God I have the two girls to help out with him. They adore him and he loves his big sisters, but that one is my wild, handful one. We call him the Tasmanian Devil. <br />
<br />
As for the rest of our family outside of us five, we still do our best to get around to see our extended family, but unfortunately, I think I'm starting to see the truth of what my mom said so many years ago. Between the two of us we still have most of our grandparents so we do our best to get around to see them and for the kids to know their great grandparents. But the kids are getting older, they're getting busier; we're getting older, we're getting worn out. We're getting more and more settled in our lives and our ways. We did a pretty good job getting around in 2017 but it's looking like in 2018 that number will be cut in half. But our parents and siblings know where we live so maybe we'll see them out our way instead for a change. <br />
<br />
<strong>Travel</strong>: Travel is always a yearly goal for me. My ultimate goal is to visit all 50 states before I'm 50 and hopefully include my kids on visiting the 48 mainland states. Then after my I've covered the country we can spend our retirement hitting our most favorite places and traveling overseas. This year we added Hawaii, Wisconsin, and Louisana to mine and Nate's list to bring him to 27 and me to 26, though there are a different three for two of mine that he has visited. We took the kids to Delaware so the girls could hit states #18 and #19 for them. I have fourteen more years to hit 24 more states so I need to knock out about two new ones a year! <br />
<br />
The only new state on the list for 2018 at this time is the UP of Michigan for the Fourth of July. My husband and I did thoroughly enjoy our little getaways to Hawaii and New Orleans this past year though so if I can find the money and time I'd love to squeeze in a little getaway to somewhere new for us too, but right now I don't see that anywhere except maybe a return trip to the Finger Lakes of New York. After traveling every single month except one in 2017 though I'm actually looking forward to three months- possibly longer- of just being at home too though! We may go up to New York City again for our very short spring break the end of March/first of April and right now that looks like our first trip of 2018. We'll go up to my husband's family in May for a wedding and hoping to do a long camping trip in PA with friends Memorial weekend- which we need to get on planning. Then after school lets out it'll be west to MO to see my family and then we'll end that trip in Michigan with our friends from Baltimore. Though we hope to do a beach trip in August it'll probably be to a beach we've been to and possibly one as close as OC, MD. Fall is usually our slowest time of the year for travel but I'll probably try to get out to my family's with the kids sometime between Oct and January and we'll hit PA again around the holidays. We have been tossing around doing Christmas in Disney because we have our timeshare available to use and with no spring breaks anymore to go down there we're considering going in Dec, but we'll have to decide that here in a few months. <br />
<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>Health: </strong>This category has definitely had some highs and lows in 2017. The end of 2015 was when we first learned of my son's heart tumors and what all that could entail, but by 2016 that was all looking pretty hopeful and that has continued throughout 2017 so thank God for answered prayers! He's doing great and though we still have to follow up with his heart because the one tumor is still there, his health has been fantastic otherwise. <br />
<br />
The big health kicker of 2017 was my cousin's breast cancer diagnosis. March 2017 had us all a little freaked and worried, but by August 2017 she was on her road to recovery and now as we wrap up 2017 we're excited to celebrate not only Christmas next week but that she beat cancer. <br />
<br />
After dealing with pregnancy health issues between my second and third with a thyroid disorder (did you know that can be triggered by pregnancy?) that resulted in my first major depression episode and then two miscarriages, that was then followed up with the worrisome pregnancy of baby boy, and then the PPD that followed him while we followed up with all of his medical testing after birth I put off following up what was going on with my hearing loss which I noticed back in Dec of 2013. This summer I finally went to an ENT, had a CT scan, and invested in hearing "helpers", but I am just now coming to the realization of how bad my hearing has become, that it's a lifelong prognosis (a genetic condition that was also worsened by pregnancy?!?!) , and that I could very possibly have profound hearing loss (one step below being deaf) before I'm 40. There's lots I have to sort out in 2018 about how bad is it really going to get, what are my options for repairing or restoring as much of it as possible (the "helpers" do help but it's not a 100% fix by any means), and what's all this mean for me in my personal and professional life and what action do I need to be taking to adapt. I go back to my ENT in February so now that I'm not so focused on my concerns with baby boy, I will probably use 2018 to figure out what to do about this new little health obstacle of my own. <br />
<br />
<strong>Career: </strong>If you've followed my story much in the past year you know last year I was so ready to throw in the towel on education. This year is going much better, but now with my hearing issue I'm more convinced than ever that I'm not going to make 30 years in education. As I learn more about what all this hearing loss entails for my future I've already started researching my financial options in regards to leaving teaching. There looks like a possibility I could have a case for early retirement, and if my hearing is going to get much worse I am financially better off to stay in teaching for now and take the pension cut of retiring 10 years early than leaving teaching in the next year or so. I have six years to go until I reach 20 years so right now mentally and physically with my hearing I'm hoping I can make those six more years. <br />
<br />
Though obviously if I retire at 20 years verse 30 I'm going to collect a significant amount less for the reminder of my life, but at the same time if I can leave teaching, collect early retirement, and go do something else for 20 years that isn't so dependent on having good hearing I think I'll be okay with that as long as I can set aside more retirement funds to collect on when I'm 62. Though I've tossed around a ton of different career changer ideas from working with new moms to owning our own business I've learned life passes fast enough and whatever is next will be here before I know it anyway and I'll take it as it comes. Life has a funny way of working itself out. <br />
<br />
My husband and I have a hard time seeing eye to eye when it comes to financial planning so I've realized in the past year it's best not to make my future professional or even retirement plans dependent on him. His shouldn't be dependent on me either. Our problem is we're too first born children set in our independent, our way is the only way mentality, and we split our finances about five years ago. Some will judge and criticize for that, but I'm too controlling and too much of planner and he's a spender. With this set up I can focus on my way of doing things- saving money and paying things off so hopefully if I'm leaving my career at 20 years I can carry my financial weight (with my 20 year pension and other job) and he can plan and carry his however he sees fit to do so in whether he wants to go the business route one day or not and as for when he hopes to hang up his hat on education. For now I'm just tacking on each additional year in education that I can, and praying I can get a couple more good years like this one to keep me sane enough to keep going until I can hang up my teaching hat. <br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>Writing: </strong>Though I am still a starving artist in the writing world, I did make money every month but four with my writing this past year so that is a new record for me, considering how sporadic I am in seeking paid publications. I did sell several essays, sold over a 100 books, and even made a bit of income from some great product reviews. Writing for a business is something that is really hard to stay consistent with and I'm constantly at a battle with myself of whether to push and pursue more from it or just do it when I want to do it and what gets accepted for publication gets accepted and what money I make is just nice little extra dinner out or vacation dollars when it comes in. I write for a niche that is overflowing with very talented writers so it's hard to get seen and break through the pile to get published at times. But I love the connection and relationships it's allowed me to build, and writing has been a passion of mine since I was ten years old so all of this writing with its rejections and acceptances has really helped me grow as a writer. One of my biggest dreams as a little girl besides traveling the country and world and my envisioned perfect little family (they're almost perfect :) ) was to be published one day. Whether it's completing two of my own book projects with editors to publish them or getting accepted for publication with online and well known print books like Chicken Soup for the Soul I've reached my goal. I also have "readers"- people that find something to connect and relate to in what I have to say. <br />
<br />
But as I'm learning our goals and dreams are always evolving and my desire to write a novel is returning. I still "feel" like that's something in the distant future, but I also feel like when I do it I need to cut myself off from the digital world. Though I don't quite feel the need to wander into the woods like Thoreau I do feel like when the time comes to really tap into the depths of what I want to write I'd get my best work out of isolation. Again I feel like that's a ways away, but it never fails that whenever I start to feel the need to write on here less it's after I just put in months of growing my traffic and connections. I feel like I constantly take a few steps back for every step forward. <br />
<br />
I don't really know what to expect of my writing goals for 2018. I've considered taking a writing course with the Disney Babble writer that edited my Letters to a Daughter book and working with her to pursue bigger publications in 2018, but I've also considered stepping back from the blog for a bit. I do know when I've been drawn to writing these past five years it's had little do with seeking publication or making money- it's always been about my need to come here to my sanctuary so to speak when I need the help navigating life. So who knows what will be the situation with my writing in 2018. <br />
<br />
<strong>Fitness: </strong>In April of 2016 I wanted to get back in the habit of working out 3-5 times a week on a regular basis again. I think once I started in April after Linc was born I missed four weeks for the rest of 2016. If I can stay on track this week and next then I will have also missed four weeks for the whole year of 2017. However, around this time last year I was down 22 lbs. I'm now about five lbs from gaining all of that back! Food, people, food! It's all in what we eat. I maybe kept up with the regular exercise but I totally slacked starting about last April with food. When I started watching what I ate the year before it wasn't even like I did anything too crazy. I cut way back on my sugar. I quit drinking soda so much. In fact we rarely even buy soda for the house anymore. I was much more self conscious of what sweets I was eating. Between that and when I first started I was doing 21DF about three times a week and then the past few months it's mostly been 2-3 mile walks or on the ellipitical so those things don't quite have the same calorie burning potential as 21 DF. But I'm getting 21DF extreme in the new year so I'm hoping with a new workout program and cutting back on my sugar I can at least go back to making some headway. But even still, I'm happy with sticking to the consistency of working out 3 times a week now for going on almost two years! Weight loss or gain it's such a great mental outlet/cleanse for me, and I definitely need it. <br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Future goals: </strong>So what are my future goals for 2018. Well, not sure if you're as unsure what my goals are from reading this as I am from writing it. I've been a goal oriented, list checker, over planner probably my whole life. As the mid point of my life is quickly catching me, I think my greatest goal for 2018 is to just be. Just be happy with where I'm at without stressing too much about what's around the next corner on this road of life. Just be present more with my family and take a step back from moving through life so quickly. Just be content with who I am- as a mom, as teacher, as a writer, as a woman in whatever size that happens to be. Just be me and embrace the me I am in all my imperfections, flaws, and silly quirks. Laugh more, yell less. Find the joy, ignore the mess. Forgive others transgressions of the past, and remember more how I'm blessed. <br />
<br />
Thanks for reading in 2017 and wishing you the very best in 2018! <br />
<br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-458949947963466272017-12-11T21:02:00.000-05:002017-12-11T21:02:10.046-05:00The Christmas Contradiction<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One minute I love Christmas and the next I'm just like "is it over yet?" <br />
<br />
<br />
I get excited about coming up with meaningful sentimental photo gifts (it's kind of my gift thing) or getting someone something big off their wish list. But then I get moody and grumpy that my bank account is dwindling down and that I never stick to the budget I saved to spend on gifts. <br />
<br />
<br />
I want to buy up all the different pretty varietys of wrapping paper that fills the aisles at the store. <br />
But then I get sooooo tired of wrapping gifts in said pretty wrapping paper I just let the six year old wrap it and pretty kind of goes out the window. <br />
<br />
<br />
I love the pretty decorated Christmas tree in the window. But then I dread the work of taking it all down and starting at it dying in my backyard waiting to be burned to ash in the spring. <br />
<br />
It's so busy with the parties and Christmas events to attend; the to do list with baking, shopping, wrapping, and traveling just gets overwhelming after awhile so I'm just ready for it to be over to start my hibernation the slower life of winter that follows after the holidays. <br />
<br />
<br />
But then I remember Christmas with small children really is magical though and each year I feel like I need to do all these magical Christmas things right now because there are only so many Christmases where they're little enough to be awed by the magic of Christmas so then I don't want Christmas to ever end. <br />
<br />
What are your thoughts on Christmas? Not a fan? Over the moon for it? Or have a love/hate relationship with it?<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA6wrWKNBlBHdNzQlhLnauUTl5cc_HebAre4ChgBm65KV-D8OdjOayONjVe73DluE2CvZ0kJSqvhx547hoynDYQsPlLNsAoAlsMyzttlLLzxkFuZ4dWr1Ut1Pk798h2IOzJn-RgDPSrg/s1600/christmas+post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuA6wrWKNBlBHdNzQlhLnauUTl5cc_HebAre4ChgBm65KV-D8OdjOayONjVe73DluE2CvZ0kJSqvhx547hoynDYQsPlLNsAoAlsMyzttlLLzxkFuZ4dWr1Ut1Pk798h2IOzJn-RgDPSrg/s320/christmas+post.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
Be sure to check out my latest essay on <a href="https://www.perfectionpending.net/2017/12/07/shes-growing-up-so-fast-and-i-swear-she-was-just-a-toddler/">Perfection Pending.</a> <br />
<br />
Need any last minute holiday gifts check out my <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/letters-to-a-daughter-paperback/paperback/product-23373624.html">Letters to a Daughter.</a></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-27494481201369769402017-12-05T21:45:00.000-05:002017-12-05T21:45:02.331-05:00Joyful Thanks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Around and around the hands of time seem to go faster and faster. I try to slow the passage of time with photo after photo and journal after journal of the endless moments that fill me with a joy and awe that at times is beyond anything I imagined possible because to be here living this life with you really is the happiest of dreams come true.<br />
<br />
This life is chaotic and overwhelming and as much as I may think I want to slow the hands of time, I swear we're running the time up faster and faster as we move from one thing to the next. I take the pictures; I record our life stories here. I don't want any of us to forget the highs and lows of this journey together the five of us have embarked upon.<br />
<br />
There's always rough moments in this life- in any life- whether it's the paycheck to paycheck stage, whether it's a house and all its needed work-desired or undesired-, there are health scares and struggles that leave you in a desperate fear for the ones you love, there are disagreements with the ones you love, there are struggles with how to do right for your kids, there's the stress of your job or career. It all adds up to a lot of sweat, tears, and sleepless nights.<br />
<br />
But at the end of the day-the good and the bad- there's always gratitude in my heart that this is the life God chose for me. Life likes to knock us around and at times is quite on the mission to steal our joy. I'll be the first to admit I let it steal mine. When the job is harder than hard, when the money in the bank account seems to be running low, when our own health or the health of those we love is threatened, and quite honestly when it just feels like things aren't going my way I let my anger and quick temper take over.<br />
<br />
There always seems to be the question of uncertainty hanging around with what's around the next corner in life whether it's health, finances, career, or just life in general, but I'm learning to be content in the now. Right here, right now with my little family of five just living the ordinary, not really sure what's around the next corner but content to be where we are at that moment, is a great place to be. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Wishing you a blessed and joyful holiday season from our family to yours! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2yQEiqYlWMPjnybzaq_sCovKOiaBvySaN8dDYe3cklYxYbt0IAXy7XUW6-cUfOYcWmxbcZzTCR4zKGVC0FOdfvSm6I9jeyjIxsLDdI1gYhyY00YuVUFmRonNNZyRUrSeYgwKbLGUHN1U/s1600/IMG_3724.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1294" data-original-width="1600" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2yQEiqYlWMPjnybzaq_sCovKOiaBvySaN8dDYe3cklYxYbt0IAXy7XUW6-cUfOYcWmxbcZzTCR4zKGVC0FOdfvSm6I9jeyjIxsLDdI1gYhyY00YuVUFmRonNNZyRUrSeYgwKbLGUHN1U/s320/IMG_3724.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Photo courtesy of <a href="https://sandiapantanoimagingandphotography.site123.me/">Sandia Pantano Imaging and Photography</a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-27189011888461236552017-11-26T18:33:00.001-05:002017-11-26T18:48:34.222-05:00The How and the Why<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The pile of suitcases use to give me the thrill of adventure ahead; now they taunt me with the amount of work ahead to get five people packed and loaded to make a trip. As much as I dread the packing, I know my husband also dreads the six to sixteen hours ahead driving across country. I'm sure sometimes he thinks he'd rather poke himself in the eye with sixteen needles rather than endure one more hour in the car. Can't say that I really blame him.<br />
<br />
With each kid and each passing year the road trips home to see grandparents and aunts and uncles seem to become more and more work. Yet over the years the number of trips made seem to go up rather than down more years than not.<br />
<br />
The summers come, the holidays come, the wedding dates, the big birthdays, the momental anniversaries and we load up those suitcases, we strap everyone in, we empty the bank account on gas and countless dinners out and hotel stays. We take to the roads driving through blinding sun, pouring rain, snow and ice, adding miles beyond miles in cars that don't last us much more than five years with all the miles we put on them.<br />
<br />
We now face the tears of constantly saying good bye. There's usually barely a day, sometimes only a few hours, to unload and unpack before launching back into a full work week.<br />
<br />
There are always reasons and excuses to not pack it up and go, and to say they don't cross our mind most trips would be a lie. But then we remember the reasons to go.<br />
<br />
1. The lifelong relationships they're building with grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins despite the distance.<br />
<br />
2. A cornerstone of the foundation of their childhood we're building with our dedication to spend time together as a family and with the rest of our families.<br />
<br />
3. The countless memories that will fill their childhood memory box.<br />
<br />
4. The gift of time- time with us, time with grandparents that one day won't be here, time with cousins that will grow up one day.<br />
<br />
5. Live, laugh, and love- all three are out there on that open road from one destination to the next where we live in the adventures we seek and in the moments with the ones we love. Laughter echos inside that closed little space of the car and in the family gathered around the table celebrating whatever in life is worth celebrating at that moment. Love is there in that car, in those hotel pools, it's there with the family that only gets to see them every so often. It is everywhere around them, and the greatest thing is they know it and they know it well.<br />
<br />
<br />
There s always the question of how and why we do it. Sometimes the how is not pretty- it's sometimes the grumpy parents, over exhausted kids, occasional disaster mishap of getting from one destination to the next but the why- the why- is the beautiful reason and why we won't stop anytime soon.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcm-HNX-xGX8SVoEy-w9XcjjDVvYS1P0zR6w_hze6lCtn_GcvNip_JzY1EcVRn6xJ7Br39NgoQ9IrfQtWGQDu3QtlXRVet072iOdPKBTns8NvYpOqoBZFsClMdtfQffzm2u9cMmWhLsYw/s1600/13566930_10153865734996559_4482506549625989504_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcm-HNX-xGX8SVoEy-w9XcjjDVvYS1P0zR6w_hze6lCtn_GcvNip_JzY1EcVRn6xJ7Br39NgoQ9IrfQtWGQDu3QtlXRVet072iOdPKBTns8NvYpOqoBZFsClMdtfQffzm2u9cMmWhLsYw/s320/13566930_10153865734996559_4482506549625989504_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-25207507682392309692017-11-10T16:50:00.000-05:002017-11-10T16:50:31.061-05:00Join Us for Our Online Mompreneur Shopping Expo<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5BKWV_F8MQ7JwuxpqP_bwH76eGAU27UBCtA1YB5KGIx6NRC57wlYzNUDScXF9bKT6ixtrU51mzaa1vDGXnlJc_wGxGIF3noWzigev3iFmbzFDrXFnPd8CjbDNG4dBPh1vYeYKdyLHtw/s1600/holiday+expo+image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="225" data-original-width="400" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5BKWV_F8MQ7JwuxpqP_bwH76eGAU27UBCtA1YB5KGIx6NRC57wlYzNUDScXF9bKT6ixtrU51mzaa1vDGXnlJc_wGxGIF3noWzigev3iFmbzFDrXFnPd8CjbDNG4dBPh1vYeYKdyLHtw/s320/holiday+expo+image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
With our modern day social media age an opportunity has been created for moms to build more financial freedom for their families from the comfort of their own homes while they tend to the needs of the household and their children. <br />
<br />
Some do this as their only source of income and others do it as an additional income, but either way there are a lot of mom boss ladies out there. I really wanted to be able to support them this holiday shopping season so I'm hoping to do that two ways: one in hosting an online shopping event for others to support their business and two I plan on doing some of my Christmas shopping with them. I also plan to tag my husband with all the things I want him to get me from them as well! <br />
<br />
This holiday season next weekend, November 17-19, nine of us will be running sales and specials at our online facebook event <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/285234268633953/">here</a> . It's a public event so anyone can come join us and shop. Husbands are very welcome so let them know you might be tagging them with things you'd like for Christmas. But if you're an early shopper or just not very active on facebook or hate getting all the notifications- which we're going to try to minimize by having a set schedule of who posts when so you're NOT hit with 10 notifications an hour all weekend - I have linked below all of our vendors and their sales pages so you can start shopping right now if you'd like or just come back to this blog post during or even after the event to do some shopping. The only thing is there may be certain sales that only run the weekend of the event, but as you know sales tend to run all the time; they just change date by date so happy shopping whether it's now, at our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/285234268633953/">event</a>, or even in the weeks after the event if you're a late holiday shopper. <br />
<br />
Now to introduce our vendors: <br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK_gqhF-HysXhCi_ocsKNLlaRaRVLP0zJ_XpTqZbW9xelhAOMsBj5fyIjuXgS4aQ2ew9ciLEOMgWdBMN8-JR8CLzyacTiAPdi-pwrHBsKIIdHzy_0NABFFZelTyx3rXOwZU7BaraMtDlw/s1600/cover+art.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK_gqhF-HysXhCi_ocsKNLlaRaRVLP0zJ_XpTqZbW9xelhAOMsBj5fyIjuXgS4aQ2ew9ciLEOMgWdBMN8-JR8CLzyacTiAPdi-pwrHBsKIIdHzy_0NABFFZelTyx3rXOwZU7BaraMtDlw/s200/cover+art.jpg" width="150" /></a>Myself- I am <strong>Angela Williams Glenn</strong>, author of <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/letters-to-a-daughter-paperback/paperback/product-23373624.html">Letters to a Daughter</a> - an interactive journal between a mother and her daughter with thirty two mini inspirational essays to inspire conversation between mothers and daughters. No matter what age mothers begin the journal with their daughter, whether she’s young or grown, it will be gift daughters will treasure, as a mother’s words of wisdom will forever be logged here for her daughter to cherish for the rest of her life. You can get the journal for $11.89 right now with checkout code LULU15. <br />
<br />
<br />
I am also the writer of <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/moms-monsters-media-margaritas/paperback/product-23284462.html">Moms, Monsters, Media, and Margaritas-</a> a book that examines the perceptions and expectations of motherhood in our 21st Century digital world. Each mother walks her own path with her children. This book will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. You can get this book for $6.80 now with checkout code LULU15. <br />
<br />
Also feel free to join our free <a href="https://www.facebook.com/trustingthejourneyofmotherhood/">facebook</a> community to get daily bits of humor and inspiration in your facebook feed. I am also published in two Chicken Soup for the Soul books for moms, and these as well make great gifts for the teachers and daycare providers in your life so feel free to contact me at <a href="mailto:glennbabies@gmail.com">glennbabies</a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">@gmail.com</a> about purchasing those directly through me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Leslea McKillip with Lipsense:</strong> <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Qqmt_hrYjc8XebU7R_w6K3pxSBMlJjZNTPGtkri7h_us20xh1BKOxqADc4TjbLc0XLZXPntdPMNqz0loPEr1nH7Ov3wKoonjNU0sbl7fTxg_cAXltCQQ6UO0GKF9hrB-ivX4WB-lRNQ/s1600/les+lipsense.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="864" data-original-width="539" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7Qqmt_hrYjc8XebU7R_w6K3pxSBMlJjZNTPGtkri7h_us20xh1BKOxqADc4TjbLc0XLZXPntdPMNqz0loPEr1nH7Ov3wKoonjNU0sbl7fTxg_cAXltCQQ6UO0GKF9hrB-ivX4WB-lRNQ/s200/les+lipsense.jpg" width="124" /></a>I'm your Lipsense lady!! Have you heard about Lipsense or senegence cosmetics?!? I have never been a huge makeup person until about a year ago! I got a couple of tubes of this Lipsense stuff and BAM!! I was hooked. My lips have never felt so amazing!! Choose a color or two and a gloss and you are good to go!! Check out <a data-ft="{"tn":"-U"}" data-lynx-mode="hover" href="https://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.senegence.com%2F&h=ATNJJ6-BQ62ZGXTc1jn-PuQ2MN3ibkRdO2EF8PmI0KyKhXNll7Wfkla5i6HpE1r18kQOQM1X4dnmAO2StKvZKitfbqGOm2M88COSPWsNfMzN72WKF-NxKWGN0TMU8WD0zd7lP-NtCjOrNEsF0bDA4BUqGkqm0KfQuDvvsU0-TFv-mCC8ou3jPONC0Xi5nBOyZpD9lbEtUcNDzseGSMxZ8pO5bGzov-Tgy9t5G0j-fVzLrXO6SfFmSwPPcMXRJKWobQCxCA5z8_q8LPd1ziLU6YO7gg" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.senegence.com</a> for more details, but please order through me at sprinkleoneself@gmail.com for the best service!! Thanks so much! <span class="_5mfr _47e3"></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Tammy Gragg with Young Living Essential Oils:</strong><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6rGK_rCiSAIBYl4iSgnQ7eaNZD9J4SVkzKA6-TkO0XhTZlpGLMmSADuD80ko2xAyvLsIMStsi9F_ZN-cSgMXiMZWwHY5AZTF_tGjlVZNYCH7BGkVkf7WLvzCJzIT7ZdUWgdLtdm6pdY/s1600/tammy+oils.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="652" data-original-width="960" height="135" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6rGK_rCiSAIBYl4iSgnQ7eaNZD9J4SVkzKA6-TkO0XhTZlpGLMmSADuD80ko2xAyvLsIMStsi9F_ZN-cSgMXiMZWwHY5AZTF_tGjlVZNYCH7BGkVkf7WLvzCJzIT7ZdUWgdLtdm6pdY/s200/tammy+oils.jpg" width="200" /></a> I am with Young Living Essential Oils. Did you know that Essential oils support all 12 systems in our body! They are used for hormonal, sleep, and emotional support as well!! I use them for cleaning, in my skin products, and my laundry!! Essential Oils are the most powerful part of the plant. I encourage anyone to research the benefits of essential oils!! They are sooo versatile and amazing!!! I have an Educational Facebook Live class once a month that is completely free to attend that explains the benefits and uses of the oils! Please message me, <a class="profileLink" data-hovercard-prefer-more-content-show="1" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=100001406357135&extragetparams=%7B%22fref%22%3A%22gs%22%2C%22directed_target_id%22%3A866426906849245%2C%22dti%22%3A866426906849245%2C%22hc_location%22%3A%22group%22%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/tammy.williams.777158?fref=gs&dti=866426906849245&hc_location=group">Tammy Williams Gragg</a> to be added to the event! Young Living offers Membership or Retail Option! Here is my <a href="https://www.youngliving.com/vo/#/signup/new-start?sponsorid=11982585&enrollerid=11982585&type=member">link</a> to check out these fantastic oils! Please message at <a href="mailto:tammygraggyloils@gmail.com">tammygraggyloils</a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">@gmail.com</a> with any questions!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyXooqTVfoEEWEbIko3xbDjrfO5epzhc98JMUnSlqKUgNejgmGva5CnbLbuSvexue12YDowUZlU-cBR3HbzpV045C6cuZPV_ACsSkGylCtLpidXb8X1_G0IaSu2uwnCZkHRCsJNcJu6cQ/s1600/erin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyXooqTVfoEEWEbIko3xbDjrfO5epzhc98JMUnSlqKUgNejgmGva5CnbLbuSvexue12YDowUZlU-cBR3HbzpV045C6cuZPV_ACsSkGylCtLpidXb8X1_G0IaSu2uwnCZkHRCsJNcJu6cQ/s200/erin.jpg" width="200" /></a><strong>Erin Staponski with LuLaRoe: </strong>I have been with LuLaRoe since 2016. I love to help women feel good in the clothes they wear and life is too short to wear boring clothes. Join my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1731840003750585/?hc_location=ufi">facebook group</a> to catch the latest styles and deals this holiday season and into the new year. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>Tara Simpkins</strong> with <a href="https://www.mythirtyone.com/1953080/shop/Party/EventDetail/10319917">Thirty One</a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-SOcbkw3n0r6NERYQdpPw8vS_rw880EgbhSGDbNBTfGHUjbot8bxd6xxE0FOqP_VVlsofihJOKufROQzALclYYTNl9goOfjstvtzyDGKpfY73Q-J7iHXrv3LQcrwZ9NMppW9Bjqqcekk/s1600/thirty+one.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="540" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-SOcbkw3n0r6NERYQdpPw8vS_rw880EgbhSGDbNBTfGHUjbot8bxd6xxE0FOqP_VVlsofihJOKufROQzALclYYTNl9goOfjstvtzyDGKpfY73Q-J7iHXrv3LQcrwZ9NMppW9Bjqqcekk/s320/thirty+one.jpg" width="180" /></a> I will be your Thirty-One Consultant for this shopping expo! If you are not familiar with Thirty-One Gifts, here is a little bit of info! We offer a wide variety of "giftable" products including signature purses, jewelry, totes, and other organizing solutions that help organize your life! Each season we develop new products built on the idea that our products must be functional, fashionable, and make great gifts! We offer our customers unique<span class="text_exposed_show"> opportunities to personalize many of our products by adding icons, words, initials and phrases through embroidery, print, and laser etching! The name Thirty-One comes from verses of Proverbs 31. I specialize in helping you find the products that make you happy, help organize your life, and help with finding the perfect gift for that special someone! <br /> Please feel free to browse my <a href="https://www.mythirtyone.com/1953080/shop/Party/EventDetail/10319917">site</a> and let me know if I can be of any assistance to you and your shopping needs! </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
</div>
<br />
<br />
<strong>Jessica Ballenger Hoyle with </strong><a href="http://www.jvhoyle.scentsy.us/">Scentsy</a>:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEGk_MQYMkW2fCSbZRI_zFpWH9Mhzer_UGPX3GSxfshquu1t3NWDJeDz8715FBWqkvqrjtQABo2O-g31pB9ZQjePH8F2-A0AcQzwEp2Q5G1IxnRglSbrCPOYCOg2BXcicjqvk_8Sq_B-w/s1600/scentsy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="557" data-original-width="386" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEGk_MQYMkW2fCSbZRI_zFpWH9Mhzer_UGPX3GSxfshquu1t3NWDJeDz8715FBWqkvqrjtQABo2O-g31pB9ZQjePH8F2-A0AcQzwEp2Q5G1IxnRglSbrCPOYCOg2BXcicjqvk_8Sq_B-w/s200/scentsy.jpg" width="138" /></a>Check out my website but contact me directly at jvhoyle@hotmail.com to order. I always can offer the best deal on shipping and our products. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Holly Simpkins with</strong> <a href="http://www.paparazziaccessories.com/71193">Paparazzi Accessories</a>:<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLud4L8gXx1wasWm60LAV3z9cRQWrK4yNwt16LnJWLyk7ybDsH2w04082EtHmOkhH7CKRBnmjob-xBlgFOphO8cRPCMhwC1Mqa8NGEwViVqLgAVBfBRsX3R2kWhqY-Y59RJKPSDA7Q1GI/s1600/holly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLud4L8gXx1wasWm60LAV3z9cRQWrK4yNwt16LnJWLyk7ybDsH2w04082EtHmOkhH7CKRBnmjob-xBlgFOphO8cRPCMhwC1Mqa8NGEwViVqLgAVBfBRsX3R2kWhqY-Y59RJKPSDA7Q1GI/s200/holly.jpg" width="200" /></a>Hi, my name is Holly Simpkins and I am a Paparazzi Consultant. I started out as a customer who was buying jewelry then realized how addicting it was and also realized I could sign up and sell it to others who could and would also love it too. I absolutely love the products that are available and l<span class="text_exposed_show">ove the fact that there is always new items coming out 5 days a week therefore allowing there to be NO catalogs. Its only available through consultants like myself so please it would be my privilege to be your jewelry lady. </span><br />
<br />
Paparazzi Accessories are trendy, affordable and for all ages including the men in your lives. Also this month only being customer appreciation month, when you shop my online website and spend $35 or more you'll receive a FREE piece<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"><br /> </span><br />
<br />
<strong>Sandia Pantano with <a href="https://sandiapantanoimagingandphotography.site123.me/">Sandia Pantano Imaging and Photography</a>:</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB7uOEEpOaUSAihPewIZVyTwNYoLMnKUbEINK2Zptq3vPu2lTZvkQzYMDGyHbMj1MNBkSPwPFhnUOBBR5AecOnOnLZ6ucm3KB71WhWBM1bsO0MCWcP5kCK20sFfYCpnpebMp-DvaMCEd4/s1600/sandia+shopping+post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="270" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB7uOEEpOaUSAihPewIZVyTwNYoLMnKUbEINK2Zptq3vPu2lTZvkQzYMDGyHbMj1MNBkSPwPFhnUOBBR5AecOnOnLZ6ucm3KB71WhWBM1bsO0MCWcP5kCK20sFfYCpnpebMp-DvaMCEd4/s320/sandia+shopping+post.jpg" width="180" /></a>I'm Sandia Pantano, a wife, mommy, OB/GYN Ultrasound Technologist, 3D4DUltrasound Imaging Technologist and Photographer! My love and passion for Newborn and Maternity and Childbirth Photography stems from my past/current field of Ultrasound technology in OB and 3D4D Imaging. I believe that both require a special eye and passion for and without either, it would not work and because I am a seasoned ultrasound tech of over 10 years I feel very comfortable working with Maternity and Newborn family/clients! It's what I do everyday! I love having the privilege to work with maternity, family, newborn clients to provide them with precious moments, captured and frozen in time to cherish for a lifetime. It's a win win for me all around, especially when some of my patients I see turn out to be my clients! So its literally "Photography from the womb and beyond" for some of my patients and I just LOVE it! I am in the Baltimore/DC area contact me @ 703-581-2044 to set up your holiday mini session appointment for only $65 or "like" my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/SandiaPantanoImagingPhotography/">facebook</a> page to enter the holiday mini session giveaway for a free holiday shoot. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4kfIorU1Zkb-FPIeGBpJ9Djw1aqetyGU-JE1xqZd14FlGSp0YKX08IHs1rdvKEa3ToJe0oW5xYmH1Hjno3GGV-B8GbVRw36LEgeVJcSuQxgqKR9Wjf_830TcY9HUDH4QBSAR_rsJpxsk/s1600/pampered+chef.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4kfIorU1Zkb-FPIeGBpJ9Djw1aqetyGU-JE1xqZd14FlGSp0YKX08IHs1rdvKEa3ToJe0oW5xYmH1Hjno3GGV-B8GbVRw36LEgeVJcSuQxgqKR9Wjf_830TcY9HUDH4QBSAR_rsJpxsk/s200/pampered+chef.jpg" width="200" /></a><strong>Sarah Ryan</strong> <strong>with Pampered Chef:</strong> I’m Sarah, your Pampered Chef Consultant. After 7 years with PC I’ve learned something really important... everyone eats <span class="_5mfr _47e3"><img alt="" class="img" height="16" role="presentation" src="https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/f29/1.5/16/1f602.png" width="16" /><span class="_7oe">😂</span></span>! Grab great gifts for the bakers, coffee drinkers, pizza lovers, health nuts, wine enthusiasts, experienced and inexperienced cooks, busy mamas, manly men and even the kids in your life right <a href="https://www.pamperedchef.com/pws/sarahryan/guest-landing/9105039998107"><span style="color: #29aae1;">here</span></a>. I'm looking forward to helping you find the perfect Pampered Chef gifts and maybe a little something for you too! <br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong></strong><br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-88781054025372047482017-11-01T22:24:00.001-04:002017-11-01T22:27:24.038-04:00The Stepping into Motherhood Community <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of the greatest roles my dad played in life was coach. He LOVED it. For fifteen years my dad coached probably well over two dozen different girls from their little girl years on the t ball field to their late adolescent years on the softball diamond. He didn't make a buck from this work, but man you knew he loved it. And he was good at it; not so much because we did win more games than we lost, including bringing home some nice hardware from more tournaments than we could count (though he could probably give you the exact number), but he was good at it because of the way he had about talking to us girls and he just had a way about teaching you about more than just the game. <br />
<br />
To some people that's what they remember about my dad- that he was a coach-not what he did to actually make money. Sometimes the things we do and what we're known for isn't connected to the life's occupation we choose to make our money. Our greatest accomplishments aren't always connected to our careers or paying work. In fact, the things we're probably the most passionate about and that have the biggest influence on others is probably something we don't make much, if any, money for. <br />
<br />
I've always wanted to be a writer. My mom says since I was in the second grade, and it really was from about as far back as I can remember. Though I've ventured out with sharing my writing five years ago now, I still avoid really "talking" about my writing in person because in the writing world it seems if you're not making boo koo dollars and known by more than your small circle of readers then are you really a writer? This is where I often come back to the example with my dad. No, I am not some rich and famous author.<br />
<br />
The thing about modern technology is it allows me to do something I love and connect with moms and readers. I am for the most part a little unknown writer. Though Chicken Soup for the Soup tells us publishing with them makes us a published author, and today's modern world has opened a door for independent authors, I still see myself as a writer, a published writer, but a writer more so than an author. I once read where a writer is something you are; whereas, an author is more a label for an occupation that provides you income. I was a writer as an eight year old kid and now I'm still a writer at 36 years old but with more than two readers these days. I have gotten to work with publishers like Chicken Soup for the Soul and I did work with Disney's Babble top writer on my <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/letters-to-a-daughter-paperback/paperback/product-23373624.html">Letters to a Daughter</a> (who does make six figures writing essays for moms so maybe if I dream big enough maybe one day I'll be her :) ), and those were neat, growing experiences for me as a writer but I'm still just a writer and I'm okay with that. <br />
<br />
So I'm not making boo koo dollars from this passion of mine, but I LOVE the connection and community with moms that have resulted from my little passion and that is worth way more than any kind of dollars. I've made most of my income from selling the four books I'm a part of, the second place my income has come from is what editors have paid me to publish something I've wrote, and the last two sources of income I've made has come from ads on my websites and product reviews. Because I'm not here to get rich and retire early, when I first started making any money from my work back in 2014 I wanted to use it to donate so here's the breakdown of how that's gone so far. <br />
<br />
The Stepping into Motherhood community- and I say the community because without them I wouldn't sell books to make money, I wouldn't get enough reads to qualify for payment for the articles I have published on other sites, and I wouldn't aquire more readers that possibly buy books themselves or read and share the articles I get paid for- has raised enough money in 2014 and 2017 (I only blogged and didn't publish work for profit in 2015 and 2016) to donate $75 to a childhood cancer non profit organization, buy a few gifts for an adopt a child one Christmas, $50 to a local elementary school, and now $50 to help a fellow community mom in need. Again I say this is a Stepping into Motherhood effort as it is writing income gained from readers that has led to these donations so thank you for being a part of the community. <br />
<br />
I really wanted to use <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/letters-to-a-daughter-paperback/paperback/product-23373624.html">Letters to a Daughter</a> money to help two moms in the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/trustingthejourneyofmotherhood/">Stepping into Motherhood</a> community as they have encountered some of the toughest battles any of us moms could imagine this past year with breast cancer and having a stillborn death. I closed up October's book sales yesterday. I didn't get the initial sales I hoped for, but I think with the holidays coming around there will be more. We were able to raise the first $50 donation for one of the moms of the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/trustingthejourneyofmotherhood/">Stepping into Motherhood</a> community with the sales these last two weeks of October. I'm hoping with November sales I'll be able to sell enough books to make a $50 donation to the second mom in our community that could use a little help.<br />
<br />
Both of these moms currently have GoFund pages at <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/lincoln-doty-memorial-fund">Doty Memorial Fund</a> and <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/taking-on-cancer-with-leslea">Taking on Cancer with Leslea</a> too if you'd like to make a donation or share them on your personal pages. With the end of October though I've sold over 150 books and if I can hopefully sell out all the ones I have in stock currently I'll reach almost 200 sold books and definitely have the $50 to donate to the second mom of our Stepping into Motherhood community. <br />
<br />
If you would like to support my writing and the Stepping into Motherhood moms, you can purchase a copy of Letters to a Daughter <a href="http://www.lulu.com/shop/angela-williams-glenn/letters-to-a-daughter-paperback/paperback/product-23373624.html">here</a> or check out my independent author <a href="http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/angelawilliamsglenn">bookstore</a>. If you're interested in a Chicken Soup for the Soul book contact me at <a href="mailto:glennbabies@gmail.com">glennbabies</a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">@gmail.com</a> You can also email me at glennbabies@gmail.com for a discount on three or more copies of Letters to a Daughter or to package any of the four books I'm a part of together. <br />
<br />
As always, thanks to my readers, because it is way more fun being a writer with readers than one with no readers! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3kZlIBqikjTsnN-HJnv0-lTZqrLUqsdmjHBxgcaeS_Hz58WGiAXu48tEuAW1b6FUmcbugSOAw1iDupbpfhHCzss9_PgnGyTuk2PJv2I1swD6hbt6Hh6hPjDryXzC3P_WEWNOMOgCFsCE/s1600/blog+change.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1202" data-original-width="966" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3kZlIBqikjTsnN-HJnv0-lTZqrLUqsdmjHBxgcaeS_Hz58WGiAXu48tEuAW1b6FUmcbugSOAw1iDupbpfhHCzss9_PgnGyTuk2PJv2I1swD6hbt6Hh6hPjDryXzC3P_WEWNOMOgCFsCE/s320/blog+change.png" width="257" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-50698298772193161222017-10-16T15:14:00.000-04:002017-10-16T15:14:41.280-04:00Review of the Ha-Ha Joke Coloring Book<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My girls at 8 and almost 6 love to color. I'm always trying to find new color workbooks for them for our long road trips. Even though regular old color books work well, I like to try to find them things that are more interactive and different to give them some variety on those long evening drives like we have coming up this next week. <br />
<br />
This week just in time for our trip we received the <a href="https://hahakidsjokes.com/">HAHA Color-Me Joke Book</a> in the mail. My girls love attempting to tell jokes. I say attempting because usually they forget the punch line, and my husband and I are just left staring at them with this confused look on our faces before we force ourselves to laugh and then we laugh for real because their joke telling was so bad.<br />
<br />
But with the <a href="https://hahakidsjokes.com/">HAHA Color-Me Joke Book</a> they can actually read us the correct punch lines so we don't have to fake laugh for them. Not only are there 28 actual jokes they'll be able to read and maybe actually remember the correct punch line for but there's a picture for them to color with each joke. I'm sure on our upcoming trip my husband and I will probably even have the jokes memorized ourselves as they read them to us multiple times on the way up and back. There are also several pages in the back of the book for them to attempt to write their own jokes! And a few jokes with no pictures to color where they can draw the image themselves to go with the joke. <br />
<br />
The girls are excited to take them on our upcoming trip and I love that it will have them reading, coloring, drawing, and writing all in one book! These would make great birthday party favor gifts or inexpensive Christmas gifts for the littles on your list. <br />
<br />
<br />
You can order your copy <a href="https://hahakidsjokes.com/">here</a> for $9.99. For every book sold the author Neesha Mirchandani will be donating a free copy to a child in need. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3TVk0qrxBldjqL9xHtMu_xMmDSPjgzkIwW_3Z0sqgXsYV2eKTWX1YZ9sX1yEbHARlrjn7vRGOsPsbC3e8kDy7lft6FcrujCTgTG_xt5YxLpUZHFmVpARvRRRlU-lBVWyNE1dN-impVNY/s1600/Joke+book+review.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="974" data-original-width="770" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3TVk0qrxBldjqL9xHtMu_xMmDSPjgzkIwW_3Z0sqgXsYV2eKTWX1YZ9sX1yEbHARlrjn7vRGOsPsbC3e8kDy7lft6FcrujCTgTG_xt5YxLpUZHFmVpARvRRRlU-lBVWyNE1dN-impVNY/s320/Joke+book+review.jpg" width="252" /></a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-47623979251869908682017-10-11T22:19:00.000-04:002017-10-11T22:39:13.602-04:00It's About the Relationship <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At Christmas I gave my oldest daughter a journal book for us to write to one another back and forth in and I will probably start this tradition with my second daughter next Christmas. My hope is this is something we continue through their teenage years. At only eight years old I can already see both hers and my emotions getting in the way of being able to effectively communicate with one another at times. I want this journal to be a place where we can go after our emotions cool to reopen the door of communication between us.<br />
<br />
We're only a few months into this third grade thing and I can already tell we've turned a corner here. A fellow mom of a now fourth grader warned me third grade was a big transition year. As Ave and I have talked about how school is getting much more intense with more homework, actual letter grades and so many tests it seems like, and more competitive sports, I've mentioned how this is just the beginning of things getting harder. <br />
<br />
It makes me sad on one hand to think that already the easiest part of her childhood is already over. I know as she's stepped up onto the more competitive soccer field she's struggled self esteem wise with it, I've seen her hide the one poor grade out of about a dozen other A/B papers she brought home and then burst into tears when I asked her what she was hiding because she didn't want us to know she struggled with something the first time, and the friend drama already started in second grade and I imagine that's only going to get crazier from here. Though she hasn't hit puberty yet, I am afraid to see how much more emotional she's going to get in the years ahead. <br />
<br />
I know we have high expectations of her, and my dad so kindly pointed out to me sometimes as parents we don't have realistic expectations of our kids. He's right. She's only eight, and I've always treated the girl as being older than she is. Though we may butt heads, she's a really great kid. But she's my first and there are going to be so many growing pains between us as we figure out this preteen to adolescent to grown daughter thing in the next ten years. <br />
<br />
Here's the thing, mommas, I'm going to make a shit ton of mistakes. Probably way more than her, but because I'll push her to excel, push her limits so she can reach her max potential, hold her accountable even when it breaks my heart because she thinks I'm the most awful mother, and I'll try to do what I think is best for her in the long run even if it temporarily makes her angry and frustrated with me because I'm her mother first and her friend second, the years ahead aren't always going to be easy. Her emotions are going to the get the best of her and though I'm the adult mine will probably get the best of me too.<br />
<br />
I wanted us to have a safe place to be a calm center for us, a place that was for building our relationship, not adding to the tearing down of it that can result in those heated arguments between mothers and daughters. The constructive criticism and redirection and "parenting" would all happen as the moments unfolded but this would be a place for us to reconnect and rebuild our relationship with positivity and gratitude for one another. Despite all the trials and emotions of this phase of our life together I want there to be no doubt in her mind of the depth of my love and admiration for her in those tough moments now and for her to hold onto years down the road when maybe I'm not there to remind her despite her struggles she is loved and will always being amazing in her momma's eyes. <br />
<br />
She loves our little journal, and I can always tell when she's read it as the encouragement I leave her in there seems to remind her despite mistakes and struggles she may be having I still think she's amazing. It was from starting this with her that I decided to create <em>Letters to a Daughter. </em>Whereas my writing at first started as an opportunity to do something I have loved since the third grade, it has become so much about building relationships. First I wrote here on the blog to build relationships and connections with other moms. That's been an amazing experience for me. <br />
<br />
But as a mother and a daughter myself, as I've watched friends my age start to lose their own mothers; as my cousin, sisters, and I had a smack in the face with our own mortality with a cancer diagnosis to one of us last spring that thankfully is in remission now, and our newsfeeds too often remind us of tragic losses of young mothers I wanted to create something that was for us as mothers and daughters. I didn't want my writing this time to be about creating a relationship between me and other moms- this blog has already done that- but I wanted to give something back to readers that would give them the opportunity to build two of the most valuable relationships they have- the one with their daughter and the one with their mother. <br />
<br />
It will be for sale in paperback for $13.99 and hardback for $21.48 next Tuesday. I hope you can attend the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/370491420051814/?acontext=%7B%22action_history%22%3A%22[%7B%5C%22surface%5C%22%3A%5C%22page%5C%22%2C%5C%22mechanism%5C%22%3A%5C%22page_upcoming_events_card%5C%22%2C%5C%22extra_data%5C%22%3A[]%7D]%22%2C%22has_source%22%3Atrue%7D">the facebook launch party</a> that is next Tuesday through Thursday. Join the event to see how you can enter to win a free copy and there should be publisher coupon codes I can offer throughout the event to get the book discounted. My goal is to sell 125 books in these three days so I can hopefully donate $100 to three different families medical needs- two of which have been readers here since the beginning in 2012. <br />
<br />
As always, thanks for reading! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddK4pec6mvW7z22aBuqyeicsf1K3sxSJk_khVoRTSkcHD1EPUr5ZZtj_-K8Fv9SjI-DhqMJ968lIYhCJ6AP4XBmDCwyJyzmiAns4XlDr1XwDy7ROAJvyiO2OsJB8Anxcnsp0ZXL2azVo/s1600/relationship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhddK4pec6mvW7z22aBuqyeicsf1K3sxSJk_khVoRTSkcHD1EPUr5ZZtj_-K8Fv9SjI-DhqMJ968lIYhCJ6AP4XBmDCwyJyzmiAns4XlDr1XwDy7ROAJvyiO2OsJB8Anxcnsp0ZXL2azVo/s320/relationship.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-26919846799839361842017-10-03T15:56:00.000-04:002017-10-03T22:06:52.884-04:00Looking for America<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I saw the look of fear in her eyes. First that he slipped
under the water, and then again as she looked around to see who had possibly
seen her quick moment of maternal failure. As she yanked him upright in the
water I told her, “My son just took a dunk too. They’ll both be fine though.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">She adjusted the hijab on her head and her now wet clothes
as she nodded. I offered her a smile and her apprehension- whether towards me
as a stranger or her sudden heart failure at her son slipping in the water-
seemed to subside. She moved her son back closer to the edge of the pool so she
could sit on the ledge like I was. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“How old is he?” I asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“Fifteen months,” she said in perfect English. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">“Mine turns a year old in a few days. First boy. They’re a
little more of a handful than girls I’m finding,” I said. She nodded, still
seeming hesitant at my attempt for conversation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Her son splashed in the water near mine. My son mirrored her
son’s motions and before long the two were slapping at the water, giggling at
the constant spray of water. “If only adults interacted like children,” I
thought. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked around the crowded
water park. As the children played they would make new friends. I could see my
daughter going up and down the little kiddie slide a few feet away with a
little girl she just met. She’d run up to me in a bit like she usually does and
tell me how she made a new friend. That’s the way children played. They didn’t
know religious, racial, or economic differences. They just saw someone fun that
was willing to interact with them. But in the adult world we not only saw the
differences but as the recent political climate has shown we attack those
differences, thinking one made someone better than another. If it wasn’t our
own judgments and bias preventing us from opening a conversation about our
differences it was the judgments and bias we felt passed against us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I grew up in the middle of white middle class America. I
left home at 23 on a search for America. I wanted to see her sights, understand
her history better, explore her culture, and meet more of her people. Even
though I experienced my first culture shock on the outskirts of Washington D.C.
where I found myself surrounded by people of varied races, religion, and
languages, I’d learn to see her differently everywhere.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But as much as I came to appreciate and see the beauty in
her diversity I also came to see how divided we were as a country in who we all
saw America as. Some saw Syrian refugees as a threat to our national security;
whereas, I saw the boy that sat in the back of my American Lit class that wrote
a beautiful story about leaving Syria at the age of five to come to America for
better opportunities. Whereas some saw Muslims as terrorist, I saw the boy that
stayed after class almost every day to put up the chairs around my room after
all his classmates left for the day and would tell me to have a nice evening or
weekend as he left. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some would see a
random black man walking on the street as a possible threat, but I saw the big
tall black kid in my class as one of the biggest gentle giants I had ever
encountered in my life who loved to talk to and tease my daughter when we
attended his wrestling matches. Some saw the Hispanic immigrant as the one
taking what was “his” or “hers”, but <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
saw the immigrant girl in my class as one of the hardest workers I’d ever
taught as she valued her education as an opportunity to make herself a better
life. Some saw the poor kid on free and reduced meals as someone expecting a
handout, but I saw someone that had been dealt a crappy hand out of her control
that approached each day with a hope and positivity so many others dealt more lacked.
Some saw the homosexual boy as just acting out for attention, but I saw a boy
that just wanted love and acceptance like everyone else.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I first truly found America in those diversified classrooms
of America’s youth, but as I searched to understand and appreciate her better I
began to see her more. I started to see that she was everywhere as I traveled
back and forth between the East Coast and Midwest. She was there in the farmers
I saw working away on their fields across the plains of Ohio to Missouri in the
hot setting July sun. She was there in the way the wait staff greeted customers
with their southern hospitality in the mountains of Tennessee. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw her in the big hopes and dreams of the
strangers I passed as we walked the streets of Hollywood. I saw her in the
people that made it their life’s work to revitalize their small downtowns or
their communities and schools. America wasn’t just a color of white or dark skin;
she wasn’t just a religion of Jewish, Christian, or Muslim; nor was she who she
was just because she was rich, middle class, or poor. Who America was wasn’t
based on a race, a religion, or a certain income level though it seemed we saw
her that way first. Rather she was a strong work ethic, she was hope, she was
community, and she was acceptance. She was all of us- working towards achieving
something the world missed. America’s hope was to achieve unity in our sense of
work ethic and compassion in a world too often divided by our differences. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">When tragedy has stuck our nation over and over again, as
has been the case all too much recently, the heroes that stepped forward to
risk their own lives and offer help were of all races, religions, political
parties, and social classes. We all bleed red, and just as evil lurks in
humanity regardless of the labels placed upon us as people, the heroes are
cloaked in all labels of humanity too. It’s not skin color, political party,
money, or even our religion that separates good from evil but what lurks in our
hearts and our minds. The light and the darkness is there, hovering on the cusp
of who each of us can be, and though it may be easy for some to always choose
the light, our true American humanity shines through when we reach into the darkness
to help pull one another deeper into the light of hope. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I looked at the kids who made new friends as they played in
that water park in the middle of Wisconsin in the middle of this country that I
loved and hoped that maybe they would be the generation that could put the
division of our races, sexuality, and religion behind us and be the kind of
America she was always meant to be. Here in the hearts of our young is where
the hope and acceptance of what America was lived. They were not cloaked in their
skin color or their differences but in their hope for something better. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span> </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuZ3xfDrEYxGfnc4l1h-7rzCmH6RjNi4r12C3KDB9_i86PaGn795W4PXAx2kADWnjc9No3gzjv-FeLujveRTSXBP7MlAf9guPEMawJTnqJqSqysGk6xfLS_Itkib4gFpow4hRKBPtSd0o/s1600/coexist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="606" data-original-width="736" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuZ3xfDrEYxGfnc4l1h-7rzCmH6RjNi4r12C3KDB9_i86PaGn795W4PXAx2kADWnjc9No3gzjv-FeLujveRTSXBP7MlAf9guPEMawJTnqJqSqysGk6xfLS_Itkib4gFpow4hRKBPtSd0o/s320/coexist.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Image provided by <a href="https://i.pinimg.com/736x/79/8a/09/798a09fd7aa516bcf80f848d2aed3e1d--spirituality-photo-ideas.jpg">Spirtuality Photo Ideas</a><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><o:p></o:p></span> </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 8pt;">
<o:p><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></o:p></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-60005535185672486852017-09-29T22:11:00.000-04:002017-09-29T22:11:05.493-04:00Celebrate the Victories!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is Friday, but not just any Friday for me this year. This week last year is when everything started to unravel at a rapid uncontrollable pace for me. All week my facebook memory reminded me of my struggles from this week last year where I was desperate for sleep from a then six month old that decided to have a sleep regression crisis all while I was trying to prepare for an observation in a class where though I had one more week than I do this year to memorize kids' names that my foggy brain could not grasp while I was also suppose to be getting papers graded on the new grading scale for upcoming interim reports on top of the usual chaos at home with chores and this kid has that and this kid has this.<br />
<br />
I pulled this from the blog post I wrote on this exact day last year: <br />
"So this week I failed. I feel miserably. I failed at my job, I definitely failed as a housewife as the dirty dishes in the sink can attest to that, I'm not doing very well in the marriage department at the moment, my uncharacteristically crying seven year old and my four year old putting baby food in her brother's eye and not having a six month old sleep through the night might be indicating I'm failing motherhood at the moment too, and I even failed at being the damn tooth fairy this week."<br />
<br />
I was trying to find the humor in it all but two half weeks later I reached a point I never thought I could reach. Hitting that crashing wall of reality was a huge blow to my self esteem and to my sense of self. No one probably puts higher expectations onto me than I do myself, and as much as I can sit here and say we all need to cut ourselves a break and love ourselves, I am sometimes the first person that needs to hear my own advice. I had this vision in my head as I headed back to work for the first time as a mom of three a year ago as I was also approaching the big 3-5 in October that I was going to nail this whole working mom balancing act. Year after year I felt like I fell short but yet felt a little more balanced and headed in the right direction. So when I failed miserably it was like I had a self identity mid life crisis, if that is such a thing. <br />
<br />
<br />
Even though the unraveling of myself peaked in October, it was a longer road than I'd like back to myself. I know for all of us at some point it feels like every day is a fight- a fight with ourselves to be who we envision with who we are in that moment, a fight with being who everybody else thinks we need to be verse who we are, a fight to get over the failures and the let downs and get back up and move forward.<br />
<br />
This past summer was the absolute best medicine I could have given myself. I got time away alone with my husband to just be "wife", I got to be a stay at home mom with my kids for four weeks and just be "mom", I put in a lot of working at home hours on preparing for the upcoming school year to focus on the "teacher" me without the pressure of being teacher and put in hours as the "writer" me without having to battle time to fit it in amongst all the other roles I typically fill throughout a day. I got to individually dedicate so much individual time to all the roles that make me "me", but as approached going back to work and juggling all those roles at once again, my anxiety was through the roof. There was that little nagging voice in my head saying, "It's all too much. You can't do it. You're going to miserably fail again at balancing all the balls in the air."<br />
<br />
But here I am at the end of the fourth week of school when the to do lists and the expectations seem to grow and start to consume you. There were about two times this week I could feel my anxiety start to kick in with some unrealistic expectation, but with a little help from my oils it passed quickly. Who knows what's around the corner but if there's anything I've started to learn it's to take the victories where you can. I don't know about you but sometimes it feels like there are way more defeats than there are victories. So here it Friday after staying after school to help students make up work this week before the interim cut off, catching up on grading for those irrelevant but must do interim reports, organizing the school's underclass portrait pictures for next week, getting the yearbook up and running this week, having some great teaching moments with kids in response to stereotypes and race, completing my book revisions to begin the final process to get it ready to publish next month, getting in two of my three workouts (Sundays are typically #3), participating in an online writing promotion event that though I wouldn't do it again I gave it a try, getting another essay accepted for paid publication, working some more on the kids' individual photobooks that I'm hoping to give them at Christmas, running kids every night but one to Girl Scouts and soccer practices, starting to look into refinancing our rental house, and even finishing the sixth book in a series I'm reading. And I feel great! I don't feel overwhelmed or crazy stressed. I feel like the girl that can do it again! I can do busy again. I can juggle the balls without completely losing myself or my mind. <br />
<br />
It's not like it was a perfect by any means. I dropped my keys in the trash can one day after work so that was fun to dig out, my laundry- oh my laundry- it's ridiculous but who cares, I haven't mopped our new floors since we got them a month ago, my house is a DISASTER right now (but don't worry everyone will be pitching in tomorrow to clean it up because I think they know by now this is all of our house, not just momma's so everyone pitches in to take care of it), I did lose my patience with my kids a few times, and I was going to attempt to cook chicken parm but then passed it off to my husband to do at the last minute so I only ended up being the cook one night this week when usually I've had two of the nights.<br />
<br />
But it's all okay. I'm calling this week a big win for myself. I wallow in my defeats sometimes way too long, so for today I'm celebrating the victory of this week. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6x6plk0A9PAwtg3vdRYHQYgMrvoRMe8BdkNZMQjzRnXckiySAxpXOJfPvAkViAtVu5Rj2PNt-1FS4bqQMULB_FBzNeTw22DafTlmb9-MrCeej_jxkuCG962UyRqYhnsXr5fSs42oylJs/s1600/victory+blog+post.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="720" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6x6plk0A9PAwtg3vdRYHQYgMrvoRMe8BdkNZMQjzRnXckiySAxpXOJfPvAkViAtVu5Rj2PNt-1FS4bqQMULB_FBzNeTw22DafTlmb9-MrCeej_jxkuCG962UyRqYhnsXr5fSs42oylJs/s320/victory+blog+post.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-17858337941648940402017-09-26T14:43:00.000-04:002017-09-26T14:43:06.708-04:00Put Guilt in Its Place<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAzxObDh-KfI902rIxmwe58jfrKEIL4oLLFiFfmKUBdu7-CRBiPhgSznbufGGGAb_mQa54RyVqxA6daFibtnCp0S3bGf9u1nzUFu1GCFGgUqjdukxYElc32PhmLmTBNEjZEql3OtRI0MY/s1600/redtribettermom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAzxObDh-KfI902rIxmwe58jfrKEIL4oLLFiFfmKUBdu7-CRBiPhgSznbufGGGAb_mQa54RyVqxA6daFibtnCp0S3bGf9u1nzUFu1GCFGgUqjdukxYElc32PhmLmTBNEjZEql3OtRI0MY/s320/redtribettermom.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Today's digital world puts unrealistic expectations of perfection on us as moms at times. Even if we can let the idea of
perfection and society’s judgments go and are happy with the mothers we are,
for most of us it still doesn’t completely eliminate the guilt we sometimes
encounter as mothers. In my own journey I found letting perfection and judgment
go to be much easier than letting go of the guilt. This one I find much harder
to walk away from and at times have questioned my own choices because of my own
guilt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter what choices we make, especially
when it comes to that tough decision of staying home with our babies or
maintaining our career outside of the home, there can be that sense of lurking
guilt. If we work, it’s the guilt that we should be spending every possible
moment with our babies and nurturing them ourselves, rather than leaving them
in the care of a babysitter or daycare provider. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
If we stay home and sacrifice our
career ambitions it could feel like we’re not contributing to the household
finances or have guilt about giving up our own career or dreams. This tug a war
of mom choices I feel has lead to an epidemic of mom guilt. I often wonder due
to modern choices and media influences if today’s mother suffers from more
guilt than the generations before us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
The thing is it wasn't the
managing all the balls in the air that was so hard for me. Many of us have done
that in our pre children lives. Many of us worked, had extra activities or
commitments, went to school sometimes on top of a full time job, ran a
household, and planned for whatever big life event was next. The modern, post
feminist woman of today is incredibly ambitious; she can handle juggling all
those balls in the air. I had managed multitasking well before I had kids. What
I came to realize though was although I could balance lots of things, if I
couldn’t give everything 100% in the past I was okay with that because I would
always still accomplish everything. I could BS my way through any homework
assignment if I didn't have time; I could put off cleaning the house or washing
the dishes or doing the laundry. I could not be there 100% mentally for my job
for a day or so when things got to be too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was okay with doing all those things at once but only giving them 75%
of myself when needed in order to get everything finished. But I was not okay
with giving my kids 75%. They deserved 100% plus, but unfortunately with all
the things as a working mom that I had to take care of in a given day, there
are too many days than I care to admit that they didn't get the 100% they
deserved from me. This is where as a mother the guilt overwhelms me at
different points and makes me question every choice I make with raising my
children. <o:p></o:p></div>
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
To work on overcoming my guilt, I
remind myself often to focus on the positives and not the flaws I see in my
mothering abilities or choices. I remind myself that it’s not quantity but
quality that matters. Even if I can't be at home with them all day, I try to
make the best of the time we do get to spend together by coloring, baking, playing
in the backyard, going for walks, taking family trips and adventures, and
cuddling every chance we get. Hopefully, in the end they'll turn out to be the
remarkable people my husband and I<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>know
they can be, and our children will<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>know
and understand how much we truly love them, even if it did seem at times we
were too distracted with all the other things going on in life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Sometimes though the mommy guilt
is not even about working or not working, but rather it’s feelings of guilt
that we didn’t make them a more nutritional dinner and opted for drive thru
chicken nuggets again, that we let them cry themselves to sleep, that we yelled
at them too harshly for misbehaving, that we don’t see our friends anymore, or
that we took a night away from home to go spend time with our friends or have a
night out with our husband. We feel guilty that we sometimes rush the kids off
to bed so we can just have a moment to ourselves. We feel guilty that we want
to go to work because sometimes work is easier than being at home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
We shouldn’t even go to Pinterest
or Facebook to see all the great meals, crafts, parties, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>home décor, and do it yourself projects
everyone else seems to be mastering. Half of the time we even feel guilt for that.
We see it as a reminder of what we haven’t accomplished yet. We think our kids
are going to suffer because we’re not that “cool” mom that’s the jack of so
many trades.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For me feeding my kids,
finding matching decorations for their next party in the Walmart aisle, fixing
the hole in one of their shirts, and making sure they got their homework done
without coloring the walls or whatever else is victory enough. Our mothering
capabilities aren’t dependent on our Pinterest successes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
No matter what decisions we make
something always makes us feel guilty or that we’re not doing something we
should have done. We always wonder what it’d be like if we made a different
choice. But there is no rewind button so I’m slowly learning to accept and make
the best of the choices I have made and put guilt in its place, back in the
closest with all the other monsters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Do you want to read more about embracing and loving yourself as the mother you are? Today you can get my book <a href="http://www.lulu.com/us/en/shop/angela-williams-glenn/moms-monsters-media-margaritas/paperback/product-21662829.html">Moms, Monsters, Media, and Margaritas</a> for $8 plus shipping. </div>
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
I'm also a part of Chicken Soup for the Soul's <em>The Multitasking Mom's Survival Guide</em> and their recent <em>Curvy and Confident </em>and have an overstock I need to sell so message me at <a href="mailto:glennbabies@gmail.com">glennbabies</a><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null">@gmail.com</a> for a signed copy for today's special of $12 including shipping payable through paypal or check. </div>
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
Be sure to follow us on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/trustingthejourneyofmotherhood/">facebook.</a> </div>
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="line-height: 200%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">
</div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 200%; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<o:p> </o:p></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-77784596538030310602017-09-24T17:36:00.000-04:002017-09-24T19:59:40.116-04:00Youth Sports: The Parent on the Sideline<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My husband and I both grew up with youth sports dominating our childhood lives. We loved the game; no matter what sport there was something about pushing yourself, the adrenaline of a close win, the heartbreak of a close loss, the momento victories that I'm sure we've both made bigger than they actually were by now, and we'll both often reflect on the character traits and passion that youth sports gave us that has served us well into adulthood. <br />
<br />
For our kids to be reaching that age to begin playing competitive youth sports is probably one of those parenting experiences we've both been looking forward to since we began parenthood.Though we've always said we would never force them to play something they didn't want to play, obviously our kids loving sports makes our hearts happy. If they weren't interested in sports at all, as much as we would hate to say it, we would let it be, as long as they were interested in something besides video games and watching TV all day. <br />
<br />
Our girls are active kids who like to be involved in things and try new things. Our oldest I'm pretty sure would try every sport that is out there if we could find the time and money to fit it all in. But as much as we've been excitedly looking forward to this point in parenthood, when we would get to sit on the sidelines and cheer our kids on in youth sports, I'm coming to realize this is a much harder role to play than I realized.<br />
<br />
By her own choice my oldest decided to move up to the more competitive travel club soccer league this year. We were excited for this- all day tournaments, trophies for actually winning, having to earn her playing time, girls she could grow up with playing for years to come. But we could see right from the beginning she was intimidated. These girls were GOOD. When she gets intimidated we've notice she shuts down. There are lots of things she could work on to get better, but one of the most frustrating things was watching her lose her confidence, not play up to her potential, and her lack of aggression. It doesn't matter what sport you play, you have to be a confident, aggressive player. <br />
<br />
There are mental parts on top of the skill part of being an athlete. Honestly, it's those mental parts of an athlete that we carry way beyond our time and years on the playing field. To sit on the sidelines when your kid is slacking (not being aggressive or playing up to their potential) can push your own self control to the limit. There have been times we've just wanted to yank her out and demand to know what the heck she is doing?!?! So then of course our first response when she comes off the field is to light into her about what she's not doing. We've been pretty hard on her. But as I've taken stock of her reactions to our reactions to her playing, I've had to reevaluate this whole parent on the sideline thing. <br />
<br />
As someone in a profession who feels like people just want to pick apart my flaws and shortcomings right off the bat rather than commending my strengths, and knowing my own reaction to that is to shut down or want to "escape" so I don't have to deal with the criticism anymore, I've had to ask myself "really are we helping her here" or are we just stripping her of what's left of her confidence? <br />
I don't necessarily think going easy on her is the answer - even being as young as she is- as I'm not one to "coddle" my kids in fear of hurting their feelings. I think experiencing disappointment and frustration at people's feedback and knowing how to manage her feelings in reaction to those is a valuable lesson in itself as unfortunately we're all going to face people's criticism and corrections and have to know how to respond and manage those. <br />
<br />
The kid is a super good kid. She wants to please people and she responds very well to directions or redirection or whatever it is you need to ask of her. I know one of the greatest lessons of sports is how to take constructive criticism and earning your place and any recognition we may receive. I don't necessarily think it does her good to tell her good game every game when there are things she can work on to get better. I'm finding there's such a thin line though in how to encourage them and give them constructive feedback without killing their love of the game or self confidence. <br />
<br />
There's such opportunity here for her and us to learn valuable life lessons when it comes to playing the game. I'm not sure we have it figured out yet but we're working on it. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSKUEy1bjHPn3x-_WMBbPwyLLGcm-URVZzbDyfejJehCtqVBddHv6hjpUbqPLQeSPj0eHvbB8vSqDb2jnzveMGy_QkLhgpFIEUPELKKm1pL-1Hm_4IG7ev2ESWFAYRzn8vwtID9D8pu24/s1600/blog+post+sidelines.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="960" height="207" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSKUEy1bjHPn3x-_WMBbPwyLLGcm-URVZzbDyfejJehCtqVBddHv6hjpUbqPLQeSPj0eHvbB8vSqDb2jnzveMGy_QkLhgpFIEUPELKKm1pL-1Hm_4IG7ev2ESWFAYRzn8vwtID9D8pu24/s320/blog+post+sidelines.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5907971758523873878.post-76988174240046122812017-09-21T15:12:00.001-04:002017-09-21T15:12:16.018-04:00Let's Talk About Sex<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I shared this <a href="https://herviewfromhome.com/dear-husband-if-you-want-more-sex-heres-what-to-do/">article about sex</a> on my Stepping into Motherhood <a href="https://www.facebook.com/trustingthejourneyofmotherhood/">facebook</a> page the other day. Between that and I'm a part of these moms groups on facebook as well, I've found women are oddly curious about how much sex other women are having. I feel like I get to be a fly on the wall as I watch all these women respond these sex inquiry threads in these groups. The responses of "normal" range anywhere from a barely ever within a year to a few times a week. Actually I'm pretty sure a few even maybe said a few times a day to almost daily. With small kids at home! Sorry, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor on that. Really? Do you think she was for real??? <br />
<br />
If you don't know, I'm a very goal oriented person. I like to set goals and see what I can achieve. <br />
I don't share them too often because honestly I don't usually achieve them in the amount of time or the way I want or sometimes at all. Recently as my life has seemed to be turning a corner, and we're on the horizon of entering a new phase of our life as parents as we're leaving babies behind and transitioning to older kids, my goals have started to shift to my marriage. It's seriously taken a backseat the past almost decade. I even looked at my husband last night at dinner as I rolled my eyes that the toddler was overtired and screaming and the girls were whining that they had to go to the bathroom AGAIN and told him we're so close to this needy, dependent phase of parenthood being behind us, and I felt guilty even admitting out loud to him that I was quite excited about that possibility. I don't want to rush my kids growing up, but it's been him and I elbows deep on our own with no family or back up doing this parenting thing for almost a decade now. When people invite us out to do things that don't include kids we have to decline because there's no one else to watch the kids except us or someone we'd have to pay. We've had so few dinners alone or kid free with friends I could probably count them on my one hand. It's rarely just him and I in bed alone because they seem to always be in there with us. But as we get ready to embark on our third trip in thirteen months without kids, it's like I can feel the freedom that comes with exiting this phase of parenthood. We've finally started to feel they're old enough to leave for long weekends and even a week with family while we leave town, with the two oldest in school now and the oldest being just a few years away from being old enough to leave in charge we can have a dinner alone again so soon, and they're starting to sleep more in their own beds and less in ours. <br />
<br />
We've been buried in this demanding phase of parenthood for so long, I think our biggest goal was survival most days. It still is some days, but my latest goals, mommas, have started to shift to my marriage and sex. Tell me I'm not the only one that's considered setting sex goals. I've been exhausted and overwhelmed for the past decade. I have handed my life over to these little people that I love with all my being but at times they have drained me where I have nothing left to give at the end of the day. I'm four years away from 40, and I read once where women hit their sexual peak in their 40s. I think I now know why! Without children clinging and needing something from me 24/7 and with my body being mine again, I may actually have more energy and desire for things not related to mothering. <br />
<br />
So my goals as I head into 36 here soon are about sex. I want to have more sex as I head into mid life here. I want to turn our monthly average into a weekly average, and I want to be motivated to do that and not be too tired! I hope these little trips without our kids are just the beginning because they have been wonderful this past year for allowing us to reconnect. As much as we both love those three little monsters of ours and the journey to five is something neither of us would ever change, I don't want to forget the two people that began the journey. Because I think too often as we go from couples to families and we change from who we were to Mom and Dad it's very easy to lose the couple that began the journey. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Photo courtesy of <a href="https://sandiapantanoimagingandphotography.site123.me/">Sandia Pantano Imaging and Photography</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieZiDGab5vBmcQuLJr-sjiIkCQ-PIyu9srPsVPyHyADJsBvibDA5BnMUhBhxauOx476ho6sZ26c-P5eSF_E3TaT83XCU7tpthCAAdg6biHbDF5hEk9loKg8wjLHJcnwDIwQa7BMOI10z0/s1600/IMG_3809.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1131" data-original-width="1600" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEieZiDGab5vBmcQuLJr-sjiIkCQ-PIyu9srPsVPyHyADJsBvibDA5BnMUhBhxauOx476ho6sZ26c-P5eSF_E3TaT83XCU7tpthCAAdg6biHbDF5hEk9loKg8wjLHJcnwDIwQa7BMOI10z0/s320/IMG_3809.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
Stepping into Motherhoodhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16278159650113398512noreply@blogger.com0