The Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus comparison

Read with caution: Ladies, cross your legs! Men, I warned you :)

First off, we all love our husbands. They're cute and cuddly. They really do try for the most part on most days. I never ever doubt what a great choice I made for a daddy for my kids, but after kids that gap between man and woman and their way of thinking just gets bigger and bigger. There are times this whole man/woman partnership thing leaves me shaking my head. Sometimes it really is like they're on one planet and we're on another. Sometimes I think it's a losing battle to try to get them to jump over here and join us on our planet.

Faith Hill once said at a concert of hers and Tim’s that a woman not only has her children to raise but her husband first. I totally get that statement now. A few older been there moms have told me multiple times, “Don’t wait on a man. You want something done you better just do it yourself.” Man planet doesn't function the same way as woman planet.  We walk in totally different shoes than they do, and one young working mom told me,  “He can’t even hold my shoes, much more walk in them.”

Here are few things that must be acceptable on man planet that here on woman planet is kind of irratating, which come on  isn't woman planet the one we're on most of the time. My grandpa once told my husband, "If Momma ain't happy then nobody's happy."

 

1.       When men are asked what their share of the household responsibilities are they reply with taking care of everything outside. And with the way they stress this everything they make it sound like their EVERYTHING is equal to our laundry, housekeeping, dinner and dishes, and everything else we do. Last I knew our everything wasn’t seasonal or once a week when it is in season. That may be acceptable on man planet but here on woman planet we're not impressed.

2.       After the arrival of children men are all of a sudden very intently interested in keeping the outside meticulously well kept? They can sit there playing video games and watching games on TV but darn it as soon as the baby’s awake and we need them to do something, oh yeah, they still have to go mow that yard.

3.       Every man appears to be convinced that he does more than any other man husband/father  out there. I’ve spoken to several moms and pretty much we’re all told the same thing. By our man. And that is that he does more than most men. Maybe the 1960s man. Doing more than mowing the yard, being in charge of the kids every once in awhile, and helping around the house is the typical man today so sorry I don’t think you doing a load of laundry for a week on top of EVERYTHING you do outside calls for a badge of honor. We're pretty demanding here on woman planet.

4.       Every time we have to be the one late or attend something and they’re in charge, we come home to a grumpy, irritated man? You mean when they can’t escape to the bathroom, yard, or a man cave the constant demands, messes, crying and fighting all while trying to take care of something else sometimes is a little exhausting and frustrating? You mean it’s hard being the one always in charge, the one the kids always come to even if you’re both home?

5. When giving them directions they ONLY follow the directions given? Nothing more , nothing less. For example, this may or may not be my own personal example that recently happened and inspired this whole post. The  directions to him may be to bathe the kids while I cleaned up the dinner dishes and the last of everything for the night. However, sometimes more specific directions are needed. He bathes them but that was it. No brushing the teeth, combing the hair, no pajamas, not even a diaper on the baby. It's a “I did what you told me to do to help, then I had to go to take care of something." Mow the lawn perhaps?

6. My last noted differences here is yes, sex. They're trying to figure out how to get more and we're trying to figure out how to get less. After we've been touched, grabbed, slobbered, and acquired who knows what other body fluids on us throughout the day  that when the house is finally quiet and we have a moment to not be dealing with the demands of our children, there comes man like an eager puppy wanting to know if it's his turn for our attention yet. Yes, there's a turn for them too because they are cute, cuddly, and they should get points for effort, but can we have like thirty minutes to ourselves maybe in our nothing box (see video).

 I recently watched a Mark Gungor comedy video Men's Brains verse Women's Brains on the different wiring of men and women. I highly recommend this. If you're a man and were brave enough to read this, watch the video. You'll appreciate it. Ladies, you'll keep on laughing.

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Put your dukes up, sister!

I know there are perfect children out there that never fought with their sibling; however, those perfect children were not me and my sisters or unfortunately, my own two daughters. I wished for perfect children, but I got these two instead. That’s okay though. I like them better than any perfect children I would get.

Sarcasm aside though, for you parents of nonperfect children, how do you deal with the fights? I kind of feel like sisters fight more than brothers, but after talking to a couple readers about rough housing and play swords and other “boy” things, I’m thinking maybe little brothers fight a lot too. I am fortunate because they really don’t fight that often, which I feel is because of the temperament of my oldest. I find myself defending my youngest a lot.

But here’s the thing. I was the oldest. The oldest that liked to torture my little sister. I’d boss her around. Like crazy! When I wasn’t telling her what to do and bugging her to do it my way, I was telling her she was too little to play with me. I wonder sometimes if I come to the defense of my youngest as a way to redeem my evil big sister me from my youth. Because the little one can be quite the bully, and she can hold her own. She will get so mad at her sister. Sometimes she just starts shaking her fist and yelling baby gibberish at her sister. I’m pretty sure she’s telling her off, which we just haven’t been able to translate yet. And she’s hauled off and smacked her sister a few times. I don’t know if Averi’s ever hit her period, and if she has she wasn’t the first one to do it. But she does boss her around something fierce and when Kenzi resists she just keeps pushing and Kenzi just gets madder and madder. It’s the same thing if Averi is telling her no and doesn’t want to do something.

Luckily at this poinit their fights are brief and two seconds later they’re “best friends” again. Of course Averi often tells me she wants a baby brother because “my baby sister is mean sometimes.”

I don’t know. I do the usual sit them in timeout and make them hug and make up. They tell each other they’re sorry. I feel for Averi because as the oldest I know how it feels to sometimes feel like you’re always getting blamed and to just do something or act a certain way because you’re the oldest. I also feel for Kenz because her and I share the same temperament. We get frustrated, don’t feel that people can understand (and when you’re talking gibberish sorry but we don’t) and so we sometimes let our anger get the best of us. It’s so hard to figure out how to deal with children that are two totally different children fairly. You’d think as a teacher I should be like some kind of expert or something on this. NOPE, far from it. I don’t want one to feel like I’m cutting the other a break because they think I like one more than the other.

Thoughts?

My other thoughts on parenting different children the same.   Parenting should come with a differential manual like teaching.  

Brave Change- Year 10!

Today started my tenth year of teaching. It's crazy to think I have almost put a decade of my life into this sometimes mentally exhausting career, but I still believe it has to be one of the most rewarding things someone can do with their life.  I'm excited to start this year; I'm ready for change and new beginnings.

One of the great things about being a teacher is you get a fresh start every year to work towards something better than the year before. I imagine in any job, just as in life, we fall into routines, bad habits, and do things that are comfortable but maybe not always the best way to do them because as much as we don't want to admit it it's easier to do the same thing wrong than put in the effort to make a change for the better sometimes. As a teacher once you've hit that dead of winter, dragging through the days on low energy and ambition, it's kind of like that sometimes. I'm like an old dog too tired to learn and implement new tricks, but after a relaxing refreshing summer vacation it's like I'm an excited puppy again ready to try some new tricks of the trade.

Last year for me was probably the toughest year for me. I hit burnout. I started to recognize it for what it was probably about March. I guess after nine years of doing the same thing, I learned from talking to others this was rather typical. I'm guessing I will probably hit it again sometime, but I'm hoping it's somewhere after the twenty year mark. I am someone that has always enjoyed working and has always believed strongly in the fact that you spend too much of your life working to waste it unhappy with what you are doing. I was having a strong internal conflict of values going on at the end of last year, and I was bound and determine to take control of my burnout problem. Along with all the changes out of my control that came to my school and education in general this year, I put several other changes in place for myself with the projects and commitments I decided to pick up at work, along with some adaptations at home to help put me in a more positive mindset. I am set on kicking burnout to the curb. Occasionally I worry that I went a little overboard with all that I took on to create change for myself, along with everything that was out of my control, but as anxious as I am about change sometimes because it is an adjustment that usually takes hard work, I've always been someone that's welcomed change too.

Our education system nationwide is going through some major changes to bring in what's called the common core. Along with the common core curriculum is also a new teacher evaluation system. I think both of these things can be great changes for the education of our country. However, change takes work and lots of time. We are human-the leaders, parents, teachers, students-and we are going to make mistakes and it's not going to be perfect. But what I fear is people wish for immediate results and when they don't get them, they quit the effort. But in any of these roles as long as we're willing to listen, learn from one another, and grow we're moving in the right direction.

Our motivational song for the year has been "Be Brave." Too many times we fear change; even if it's a change we need. We stick with what we're comfortable with for fear of the unknown that comes with change. But we (teachers, students, and our nation's education in general) can't grow and be better unless we change. Change is scary but this is the year of braving change.

I'm ready. Are you?


This is a great video. If you're in education I hope you watch it. Be Brave

 

A Mother's Story of Hope

Imagine the excitement of meeting your first baby. You are heads over heels in love with this tiny person that you've been waiting months to meet. You are finally a mother, the role most of us dream about as little girls. As hectic and exhausting as those early months of your baby's life are they are suppose to be some of the most memorable too.  Then imagine three months after the birth of your precious baby, being told you have cancer with a surival time period of about 15 months. You may not get to see your baby's first steps, celebrate their first birthday, celebrate those moments like potty training, take their picture on the first day of kindergarten and every first day thereafter, celebrate their school accomplishments, cheer them on at that first soccer game, enjoy the amusement of how awful they are when they first start play soccer, watch them grow into their own person as they find their way in the world, and see the wonderful adult they become because your time together has now been cut down to fifteen months of less. How do you get up? How do you go on? How do you live?

Do you give up hope? Do you quit? Or do you fight? Do you cling to your hope with everything you have? Do you put your faith in God and yourself and give yourself a fighting chance.

This is Heather Von St. James' story.  In the Baltimore area we often hear of the risk of mesothelioma due to the exposure of asbestos from certain working conditions. I hope you click on the link below to hear Heather's story and help spread the awareness of this cancer, as well as her message about hope and living with a purpose.


Heather's message and challenge to us is find something we never thought we would accomplish and give it a try. It can be something like art class, yoga, or heck, skydiving. And do it. We need to remind ourselves this is our life, and we should live it with passion. Tomorrow for ourselves or the person we love is never guaranteed. The scariest thing to me as a parent is not seeing my children through this journey of life because as much as it can be difficult, it is a gift. A gift that can be honored with a passion for it.  Don’t wait for something like a cancer diagnosis to wake you up.  Heather  says, "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death. Go out and LIVE!"

Please check out her video and share Heather's story



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NO! NO! NO! NO!

No nap= a very cranky, pain in the ass toddler

No AC= two very, cranky parents

No dinner= a very cranky husband, and an I don't give a shit at the moment wife

No lid on a sand train= a fucking disaster all over my house

__________________________________________

This all equals no patience and I'm over this week! So I will laugh, you can laugh at me or with me, but either way tomorrow is Friday. And all I can say is Thank God.


Please  tell me I am not the only momma that encounters a wacky equation like this at about the end of every work week. Happy Friday! I think I might have to celebrate mine with a drink. Cheers!