Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Why are there always so many me s?

In the process of going through old files I came across this poem I wrote probably three years ago when

Averi was a baby. Unfortunately, I don't feel that much has changed. I"m still running around like crazy being

too many me s. Thank God I'm not coaching or going to grad school anymore. That was the first two years

of Averi's life.

But now there's two of them that need me.

Nate is the busier one with grad school and I've picked up extra hours of work. Last year

when Kenz was born was the most balanced and "having it all together" with this 

career mom thing I remember having in the four years I've been a working mom. What was different then? I

need to figure it out. I need an action plan for this balancing act called my life.  So the plan is to have one 

of those more content kind of years next year and to work towards my ideal working mom goal, which

would be to work outside of the home part time. To me working part time has always been the idea of the

best of both worlds. I couldn't be a complete stay at home mom unless I had a full my schedule with a

bunch of projects. But after staying home today with the girls, I'm still convinced staying at home with your

kids is just as much if not more work than work. But I have SO much more patience by the end of the day

because I'm not stretched as thin with trying to do what I do at home on top of a full work day in the same

24 hours of time. And I got to play with my kids without feeling rushed. There's just too many me s.

Sometimes I think I get lost on which me I need to be.

Which Me Should I be???

Do you wonder what it’s like to be me?
Which me would you like to be?

The mom, the wife, the housekeeper,
Or the teacher, the coach, and grad student
But let s not forget the sister, daughter, and friend
Which Me should I be?

Pushing through the day with papers to grade,
Records to keep, lessons to plan
From there off to class or games to attend
If only this me would end

Rushing home in time to eat,
Do bathtime and read bedtime stories
Then down to do dishes and clean up
If only I could be more of the mom me

Too many roles with sometimes too much criticism
And too little appreciation
If only you understood what its like to be me

End of the night still have papers to write,
Papers to grade, and lessons to finalize
If only I didn’t still have to be this me

The end of the day with no time
Left to be the family me for husband, sisters, or parents.
Anymore do my friends even have a chance to know me?

If only I didn’t have to be so many mes
Now do you understand what it s like to be me?

Moms, how many different me s are there to you? And how do you balance so many versions of you?


  1. I think we all feel like that sometimes - or a lot of the time. There is always so much to do, no matter if we work outside the house or not.

    I'm a SAHM, but sometimes I wish I worked part time too. Maybe when they are in school.

    I hope next year is a little more relaxed for you!

  2. I have stayed at home since my kids were born, but before that I received my master's degree and worked from the time I was 14. For me staying at home was a better fit, I am able to cook from scratch everyday. However, I seem to be a stay at home mom that doesn't relax and my stress level is probably more than when I worked :) I think us moms in general put too much stress on ourselves for everything to be perfect, when such a thing doesn't exist. I hope that you are able to find a balance that is a little less stressful for you!