Thursday, August 30, 2012

Here, there, and everywhere

That's about the way my mind feels. Something about the beginning of this school year is just... off. But at the same time I feel excited about work in a way I haven't been in a few years and I have a good feeling in my gut that it's going to be a good year. Maybe it's because I am so excited about so many new things at work and outside of work that has me feeling like I'm running a marathan at a sprint and I'm in dead last. I haven't yet gotten into a rhythm with all the new changes this year.

I'm a floater, which means I don't have a classroom, which I will gladly give up to be back in the building and have access to all the technology I have this year. So I'm having to spend a lot more time planning in order to include more technology and get ready for the new curriculum that is coming out  next year. But because I float I feel like I have my stuff everywhere! Being the organized control freak that I am it drives me a little crazy. I'm also thinking this is not going to be one of my more enjoyable schedules. I feel like about the time I finally get settled into working on something during a break between classes the bell is ringing for the next one to start. I am not in one place for more than 45 minutes all day. I'm transitioning like I'm on an assembly line every 40 minutes to get ready for the next place I'm moving to.

I'm excited about Averi starting school Tuesday! And Kenzi is loving spending her days with her BFF Lily and her grandma. But, I haven't quite fallen into the rhythm yet with dropping off and picking up since last year they were here at the house. And Em and I have enjoyed just lounging around her basement, hanging out in the afternoons while the girls play. After spending our afternoons together for two volleyball seasons it's nice to still hang out but with our girls instead of at practice. And we've even managed to fit in a few walks a week, even with Averi's constant whining of late.

Unfortunately, even right now the evenings have felt rush, rush, rush. For the first time ever, thanks I think to my youngest daughter, I have been making my family stick to a rigid schedule. I've always felt like the only mom that wasn't sold on the constant early to bed regime. But for two weeks now, even if it's the crappiest dinner ever because Nate's not home from work yet and I have to cook, we are eating dinner by 630, kids bathed and getting ready for bed (or quiet time with a movie in her room for Ave) between 7 and 730, house is cleaned up and whatever chores need to be done for the day are finished by 8. Which still with two hours until my bedtime, those hours have felt rushed with my own bath, getting stuff together to do it all over again, and sitting down at the computer to do school work. For the purpose of my sanity, I like the strict routine schedule. But I question myself as to whether I'm putting them to bed so early for their benefit or my own so I can take care of more crap on my to do list and maybe give my brain some time to shut down. For a working momma, the day really does need to be longer than 24 hours. I wonder if we can ask Congress about that? Once I go to bed, I still can't even go to sleep because I'm jumping out of bed every five minutes to write something down on my little sticky notes for this or that because my brain will NOT come out of overdrive. I really wish it had a power button I could push for it to just shut down for a few hours like every other computer.
                                   This is what we really do to the girls in the afternoon at Em's.
So, I don't know. I'm a little overwhelmed. But I'm definitely staying positive and have a good feeling about things. It will all find it's rhythm and I won't be so overcharged.

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