My oldest is 7.5 years old and my youngest four months. The other day as he was looking at me with that look of complete awe and trust that a baby gazes at you with I thought how different it was than the looks I receive from his sister these days. The seven year old that now calls me out for being on my computer or phone too much, who tells me I’m bossy for telling her do things around the house. She sees my imperfections and daily mistakes now. I’m no longer perfect in her eyes like I once was and still is in my son’s young eyes. She knows the truth that I am a flawed human.
He doesn’t know yet that sometimes I’m tired and out of patience and in those moments the not so best sides of myself come out. She does though and she tells me she doesn’t want to be a mom because I make it look too hard and stressful. He doesn’t know that sometimes I get distracted and miss things, but she does and reminds me that it’s not very good of me to not pay attention to what she’s trying to show me. He doesn’t know that I’m not perfect, that in truth I’m full of many flaws, but she knows because she tells me how I’m a horrible cook and makes sure I know all the things I don’t do very well.
It wasn’t until I saw that wondered look of love in a baby’s eyes that I forgot how much I missed it. It wasn't until I saw it again that I realized how truly fleeting it is. All too soon he’ll know I’m not perfect either. He’ll know I make mistakes daily. He will see the truth too that I am only human but for now he looks at me like I am his whole world.