Sunday, December 14, 2014

Adult Friendships

As I continue to navigate my way through adulthood and parenthood or "the real" world as my parents liked to warn us about as kids, I've come to see how easily the stress and demands of it all can just consume you to the point that it's quite easy to lose sight of yourself and your relationships.

Life is stressful just with the every day demands, and unfortunately some deal with so much more. I consider us lucky in that our stress is what I consider typical stress: work, balancing work and family, the house or car repairs, and money.

But even with just that our time feels stretched thin and the to do lists just consumes us at times. Because of this there were several weekend plans this Fall we made with friends that we contemplated canceling. Just a few weeks ago I told my husband for the first time I wasn't feeling my usual anticipated excitement about going home.

After those nights with friends that we considered canceling my husband and I would both say how we were so glad we didn't and how getting out and reconnecting with those friends was just what we needed to off set that stress that we almost let take over at times. I'll admit I'm the same way with the phone sometimes. I have a few really good girlfriends back home and there are times I know if I answer there goes an hour of my evening. But then an hour later, I'm not thinking about what I didn't get done. Instead I feel like a huge weight  has been lifted off my shoulders because talking to them was exactly what I needed for an hour that week.

Some friends and relationships in our lives are going to come and go for different reasons. But one of the things I think we've learned in just the ten years we've been together with our friendships individually and as a couple is when you find the ones that mean something hold onto them. Don't let time, the stress of life, the excuses eliminate that connection over time. Some relationships mean more than others, and there's nothing necessarily about the ones that don't. We've purposefully let some go, and unfortunately others have drifted apart over time and distance.  The ones we make sure to make time for are because there's something about them that fills something we need and hopefully in return they feel that we give them something they need. Friendships are just like any other relationship. It's a give and take. There's something about each of those friendships or relationships that we've kept that we admire about those people; something about them and the way they live their life that really connects and matters with us.

Even when life gets stressful and so busy we feel that we have time for nothing, we've learned to stop and make that time to spend with our friends or in the case of going home with family. Because once we're there in the moment we're always reminded there is no better medicine for stress. To the wonderful group of friends we have thanks for always just accepting us and loving us the way we are and for making time for the phone calls and visits.

There are still great deals at  Gymboree, Crazy 8, Little Passports, and Shutterfly for holiday shopping.  My book,  Moms, Monsters, Media, & Margaritas is on sale for $8. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99.Remember all sales profits are going towards gifts for children in need this holiday season.

1 comment:

  1. I love having adult friends, even though I struggle to find tight friendships. I hear about people who have friends who are over their house weekly and I'm in awe. Yet, I am often one to cancel, so I know it's on me. Thanks for the reminder that I can't keep doing it!

    Your co-host from Turn it Up Tuesday!