Thursday, August 6, 2015

The Myth about Supermom

There's countless articles out there about supermom and about motherhood being enough, which at times is presented as the attack against supermom. I recently read a piece that shot down the supermom mentality and cried out for motherhood to be enough for today's woman. It's articles like these that leave us questioning our own vision of motherhood and happiness, and it leaves women like myself feeling like we have to defend ourselves for wanting more than motherhood. It's a quiet accusation that wanting more makes us bad mothers.

One of the things I did agree with though is supermom is a myth. She's not superhuman. She puts her pants on the same way as everyone else. She makes mistakes, she faces insecurities and doubts, she loves her kids to the moon and back but they still drive her crazy too. She has her good days; she has her bad days. Some days she feels like she has it all together, and other days she feels like it's a circus show of disaster after disaster. There are things she excels at but there are things she struggles with too.

So no, there is no supermom, but there are moms that are ambitious, that love a challenge, that thrive in setting and accomplishing goals. She maybe doesn't want to be taken care of but wants to be in charge. She knows what she wants and she's not content with just sitting back. Multiple things besides her children give her purpose.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this; it doesn't mean she loves her children any less than the mom that is content with motherhood being enough (just as there is nothing wrong with the mother that is content with motherhood being enough). We need to accept that different things make people feel fulfilled; it doesn't necessarily make them any less of a person. It doesn't mean you're better than them or they are better than you.

We're all mothers; we are all women. We all have goals; we all have a vision. Some of ours include our careers, our personal health and fitness, our homes and crafts, or whatever gives us passion and a purpose beyond our own children. No matter the difference the thing that all mothers, regardless of their ambitions, share is her love for her children  When we start attacking each other's choices and lifestyles the reason I think women get so defensive is because the quiet accusation is that we don't love our children enough. So no matter which side of the ambitious/supposedly supermom spectrum we're on it doesn't mean that we love our children any more or less than the mom that makes us feel like we're less or more.  So let's just lose the cape and just be happy women in whatever makes us happy and fulfills us.

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