Saturday, August 22, 2015

Same Journey; Different Paths

I've had a few, and I mean very few, friends that I have shoved away. The difference between them and the ones I hold dear to my heart is this: They think they know, and they don't and won't ever understand. You know what I'm talking about. They think they know what makes your life easy or hard, they think they know how stressed you should be about something, they think they know how you should do things, they think your priorities should be the same as theirs, they think your choices should be similar to theirs if you want to do "it" right. I'm talking about the one who judges and criticizes when she really has no idea. She thinks you need to be on the same path of this journey as she is.

Hopefully you have the friends too though that I do. These friends just get it. They know they live a totally different life than you but for different reasons it has its own struggles and stresses. But they don't compare; they just understand life is hard sometimes.. They know you made and make different choices than them, but they know you both have the same goal of happy kids but you're just taking two different routes to get there. They know you make mistakes, and even if it was a mistake they would have made a different choice to avoid, they know we all make them. Just at different times, in different ways. They don't focus on your flaws or mistakes but on the positives that make you the woman and mom you are. They get that you may be on the same journey that is life but that you're traveling a different path.

I'm going to use my sister for an example .My sister is one of the best people about not making me feel  judged. We're both working mom of two to three kids. We have different jobs, we have different numbers and personality of kids, different support systems, and different additional stress and struggles. Just because she has one job and I have a different one or that she has this support or not that support it doesn't mean one of us has it easier or harder than the other. We just get that some days are hard; some days are great. Some days we just want to vent; some days we just want to be left alone. We're both on this journey of motherhood but we get that our paths are different and the best thing to do for each other is just understand.

The thing is everyone has a story that is full of struggles and triumphs, none of us are truly exempt.
Every one of our past experiences vary from everyone else's and those past experiences is what leads to our doubts, to what we purse, to how we live our life, to what we fear, to what we overcome, to our choices, to the paths we take.  We all have different priorities; different things are important to each of us because of our influences and experiences, and even though yes, we may all argue that family is the most important thing, how that actually looks is different for each of us. None of us walk the same path on this journey of life or parenthood.

We all carry  baggage and we're all packing a different load. In most cases we don't know the full truth of those struggles that lead to the things we see and sometimes want to judge. Even as much as I can be an open book on here sometimes, in some situations only the surface is skimmed. We don't know a person's full story; we don't truly know how easy or hard someone's path is because we're not living it. They are.

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