Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Meet Averiella and Nakenzi Grace

I've decided to try this after getting addicted to following my two friends mommy blogs. You can follow them here at  Life Imperfected and here at Grover's Corneras they entered motherhood this last year. I have about three years of catching up to do as my first daughter was born a little over three years ago. So even though I've had three years of practice at this mothering thing, you will see that I don't quite, okay I'm a long way, from having it figured out. I have always found motherhood an amazing journey that is way better than what you actually imagine unlike many things you imagine in life as a little girl. However, it also WAY more challenging than I also imagined too.The positives and joys without a doubt make up for all those frustrating moments we all experience as parents. There really is no experience like it. It so true what they say about how it's a love like you've never known. It amazes me how as a parent you can just be entertained by just simply watching them, how a hug or smile from them can make brighten your day. All your hopes and dreams now are on their future and well being. They become your world, your center, your everything.

My first daughter, Averiella, was like the perfect baby. She slept five hours straight by like the third night and was up to seven, eight hour stretches within a month. She hardly fussed. She was always so happy and content. I'm sure I had to have those moments with her that I thought man this is hard or I was frustrated. I guess those memories disappeared with time. The years following her first year stand out a little more in my mind. The girl is quite the character. Anyone that knows her or has even heard my "Averi" stories know the girl is afraid of nothing, is a daredevil, never met a stranger and will be your best friend, is quite the little actress, and has to be full of more energy than the typical three year old. She NEVER sleeps. We're lucky if she finally falls asleep by ten when we go to bed and if she starts to fall asleep even for a five minute nap we try to wake her up because all she needs is a little power nap and she's refueled for an endless amount of time and takes even longer to get to sleep.

On her second birthday, we found out we were expecting what would become our second daughter, Nakenzi Grace. I found my pregnancy with her so much less enjoyable. I was starting to suspect that I was suffering from so sort of depression before I got pregnant and unfortunately it continued for most of my pregnancy with her. Once she was here, and she was the complete opposite of her sister. I would frequently wonder if she was so unhappy as a newborn because I wasn't very happy when I was pregnant with her. I wondered if my slight disappointment that she was another girl someone made her an unhappy baby. I kept comparing her to Averi and I kept telling myself we can't do that. I kept saying the whole time I was pregnant that I was so excited Averi would get to experience the special bond of a sister as I grew up with two sisters that are now my best friends, but I didn't want one to feel like they were constantly getting compared to another or didn't feel like she measured up to her sister in some way. People bragged on Averi all the time from how pretty she is to her great personality to how smart and noticeably athletic she already was. As a teacher, I saw too many siblings with this Gene/Finny complex kind of relationship and I didn't want that for my daughters. But I was the first offender in constantly comparing them.

But I feel like I am getting better at seeing how they are each special in their own way. At first I was disappointed Kenzi didn't look like Averi. But now I see them each beautiful in their own way. I have my brown eyed and my green eyed princess (hopefully Kenzi's eyes continue to stay blue). Averi's my risk taker and I think Kenzi will be my more cautious one like me. Averi has a loud, noticeable personality and loves attention, and I think Kenzi will be more the one to accomplish things in quieter way. They're both going to be great in their own way and I just need to sit back and give them a chance to each become their own person. Anyway, those are my two, sweet baby girls. Next time, I'll share the craziness that come with being a working mom of two young girls.


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