Thursday, July 13, 2017

Why the Experts aren't "experts" on my Parenting

I know the experts mean well when trying to advise parents of the “perfect ideal” way to “successfully” raise our children, but I think there are a few factors in their research they don’t have their facts straight on. Though science classes were long ago in my memory, I do believe I recall something about variables and how those variables could skew the scientific findings one way or the other. Parenting isn’t a scientific formula in which the experts can give us the step by step process on how to raise our children to be conformed to society’s standards and expectations. There are so many variables the experts are missing when trying to tell us how to successfully raise our children.
First, you don’t know my individual child. As a teacher of thirteen years and parent of eight I can tell you NO TWO children are the same; therefore, when one strategy may be successful with one it may not be with another. As a parent one of the most amazing things to me is how different my children can be from one another. Learning how to parent isn’t a mastery of one particular skill set that you just put on repeat with each kid that follows the first. Each kid has different needs, different strengths, and different weaknesses, and we are constantly adapting and trying new strategies.

Second variable you are missing  is you don’t know me. You don’t know my flaws and imperfections because believe it or not those things aren’t so easily fixed with some “expert” suggestions either. I’m a continued work in progress and always will be so right there is one huge variable you’re forgetting to consider. You don’t know what baggage and insecurities I carry. You also probably don’t share my beliefs and philosophies. You can’t fit all parents into the same box of ideology and practice. You don’t know each parent’s situation.  Our options on what we can do for our children is varied so much based on our individual financial situations, individual work schedule situations, our extended family situations, how many children we have, how many varied needs and personalities each of our children have.

Experts are too scientifically based in the aspect that they want to solve a problem with a solution so they create a recommend method to put into practice, yet because each child is different, each parent is different, and each family situation is different and unique this one size fits all mentality isn’t going to work with raising children. Pushing parents and children to conform to society to behave, think, and live a certain way actually kills creativity and individuality which is what I also thought we wanted for our children.

I’m not trying to make excuses for poor parenting choices. I know we could all use a little help here and there in getting those mini humans of ours to behave at times, but keep in mind we and them are only human.  We can only do so much in so much time. Honestly what one may think is a bad decision a whole other group of “experts” and parents are going to think is the right decision. The shades of gray in parenting choices is so vast you can’t nail parenting down to the scientific method. Unfortunately, all the “expert” parenting articles on the vast web is mostly just succeeding in making all parents feel inadequate and incompetent even when we’re doing the best we can. Thanks, experts, for your advice, but I'm going to continue to believe I know what's best for my children.

                                     So yes, these little monsters are a handful at times but come on doesn't it look like we know what we're doing???
Recent posts you've possibly missed

No comments:

Post a Comment