Crazy is about to get Crazier

And no I'm not having another baby yet because that would be crazy.

Just the weekend left and then crazy gets a heck of a lot crazier around here. It's back to work and school for this family. It's going to be another fast and furious start, but I feel better. I ended last school year feeling defeated, depressed, unsure, and just absolutely exhausted from the mental toll of work combined with my personal life. But I'm starting this year confident, excited again, energized and ready to take on this year. With the conclusion of this summer, we have completed the transition of making the big move and home purchase from last school year. That is a huge weight off my shoulders so I'm hoping I can balance career and two kids as well as I did the first five months I did it when I returned to work after Kenzi because last year was just flat out not pretty at times.

It's going to be a busy one though. Nate has two classes this Fall and his internship in the Spring to complete his graduate program, but it's three classes in one school rather than six like last year. Averi starts Pre K this Fall so aside from the failed (because her teacher that I liked was fired) four months she spent in a daycare type setting last Fall this is her first "school" experience. She is super excited about meeting new friends. She also still has gymnastics and dance this Fall, possibly with a few weeks of trying soccer again (it didn't go so well last year). I am excited about my new schedule at work because it includes two electives I'm excited to take on but because I'm new at it I'm sure that will bring some of its own challenges. Some coworkers and I have signed up to run a 5 K in November so I'm hopefully fitting in two to three days of working out with them. I'm also signing my first contract to teach a composition college course at the local community college this Fall. I wasn't going to do it as much as I wanted to because I thought it would be too much, but they worked really well with me and gave me a class that starts at 4 and ends at 5:15. I was already going to have to work until 4:30 two days a week with a program I was going to pick up at work, and now I can do this instead and it's only 45 minutes added to the end of my work day. And I'll be able to fit in my workout between that 2:30-4:00 slot! I'm pretty excited about having the opportunity to teach there. I also finished my first book since I entered adulthood this past summer so I'm super excited to be working with some close friends and Lulu to get it revised and hopefully published sometime this Fall.  So it's going to be an exciting Fall. On top of all that, it's football season, all the holidays, and of course some family fun filled weekends here at the Glenns. I love to be busy; I am one of those people that doesn't know how to just sit still and relax (this is annoying even to myself sometimes), but I have written down a daily schedule for everyone to give us as much consistency as possible, we have a tentative meal plan such as Thursdays with gymnastics is pizza night and Wed with dance and Nate's grad class is crockpot or leftover night. I'm going to be able to do this and I have to keep telling myself this.

But I'm pumped up and excited now but I will forewarn you the energy will deflate at random points and I will probably be a blubbering, whiny woman. I'm sure at random points throughout this fall you will want to slap me, cry with me, laugh at me or with me because it's when the crazy gets crazier that posts like The Mom Fails of Multitasking ,Did you Shave your Legs for This?  Wal Mart: My frienemy, Superwoman or Nuts?, Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh, start coming. Sometimes to keep myself from having a pity cry I just have to turn on the humor.  My writing seems to get more creative and wacky and usually humorous when I'm stressed. It's my therapy so I appreciate all of you for being my listening ear. So if you're a praying person, say a prayer for my sanity to include lots of positivity, and wish us luck because it's going to be another crazy ride in this next chapter of the A & N show. I hope you visit back for the laughter and tears that are sure to come.

                                              We won't be any trouble, Mom, we promise.

 

The life and perception of a four year old

 

 

 

Back to school is right around the corner. Around the corner in less than five days. My girl will be starting Pre K this year. I have an issue with time. It really goes way too damn fast. If I think about it too much I seriously start freaking out about how fast it goes. I cannot believe my baby is not a baby anymore. I recently videotaped an interview with her, but couldn't figure out how to load the video so here is her four year old perception of life. I would love to do this with her at the beginning of every school and do it with Kenz when she gets older.

Me:Tell everyone who you are.

Hi, I’m Averi. I have a little sister named Nakenzi and I want to have a baby brother.

Mom: How many kids will that be?

Averi: Three and then daddy will be like meany mommy.

Mom: Having kids makes mommy mean? (I guess according to Daddy.)

What were your favorite things about this summer?

Averi: I love to go to Disney Junior and see all kinds of princesses and stuff.

Mom: Watch Disney Junior? What else?

Averi: Going to Nanas. I love to play at my house. Addi Rae came to my house at spring.

Mom: Addi came this summer with who?

Averi: Nene, Papa, and everyone else. 

Mom: What else?

Averi: Eating cerel and stuff.

Mom: Okay, what else?

Averi: Mrytle Beach and the Aquarium.

Mom: Did you like the aquarium.

Averi: Yeah, we saw fish, sharks and mermaids!

 What is your favorite things to do with daddy?

Averi: My favorite thing to do with my daddy is color with him.

Mom: What else do you do with your daddy?

Averi: Reading Winnie the Pooh. Plant a garden. We planted a garden!”

What are your favorite things to do with mommy?

Averi: “I like to color with you. Go shopping!”

Mom: “Yes, I take you with me to the grocery store almost every time I goand we have fun, don’t we?”

Averi: “Yes, and we bake cookies.”

Mom: “Yes, we spend time together baking all that stuff that’s not good for us and we like to eat the dough or batter when daddy’s not looking”

What are your favorite things about your sister?

Averi: “I get her milk, cereal, and I change her diaper.”

Mom: What do you like about her?

Averi "She's my best friend."

What are you excited about this fall?

Averi: I’m going to school!

Mom: Are you excited?

Averi: Yeah!

Mom: What else comes in the Fall?

Averi: Halloween!

Mom: What about watching football with Daddy? Are you excited about that?

Averi: Yeah!

Mom: What team do you cheer for?

Averi: I don’t know.

Mom: Okay, we won’t let your dad see this part of the interview. Steelers, remember?”

If you could be anything what would you be?

Averi: “I’m going to be Cinderella, Nakenzi’s going to be a dragon, and Benjamin’s going to be a knight.”

Mom: “That’s your Halloween costume. Besides Halloween what would you want to be?”

Averi: “I don’t want to be a princess. I want to be fairy!”

Now that you are starting school what are you excited about?

Averi: I’m going to make friends. I love to make friends.

Mom: What else will you do with your friends?

Averi: I will play with my friends. We will go outside and play more.

Mom: What do you hope to learn? Your parents are teachers so we do want to know what you hope to learn?

Averi: Read books. And make clothes.

Mom: You do love clothes. What else?

Averi: I will miss my little sister. She will be at Miss Kate’s but when she grows up like me she’ll go to school!

Mom: What are going to start doing at home when you start school? Are you going to sleep in your own bed?

Averi: Yes but I will miss your bed, mommy.

Mom: It’s okay you can sleep in my bed as long as you want. You can be my baby for as long as you want.

                                            Averi and her best friend (aka her sister) at Niagara Falls

My babies growing up way too fast for their mama.



The End to another Glenn Traveling Summer

We are home for good again. Living here in this state that we've made our home alone with no family is really tough sometimes, but on the other hand I feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate that we are able to see them as much as we do. Because of our jobs as teachers, we take advantage of the summer and winter holidays to see our families at least those two times a year, and if we're lucky they each hopefully make it here in the spring sometime to see us. However, every year this gets tougher and tougher. Raising a family requires much more money than I ever imagined. Imagine that, right? Aren't we all a little niave to the expense of children? Now when I had hoped we would see our families more because we have children that we want to see their grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins, we probably actually see them less than when we first moved out here and were childless.

Somehow through a lot of anxiety sweating about money, we manage to load up that family car, with the dog included sometimes, and make those memorable trips to grandmas, grandpas, and nanas' houses or to those vacation spots to make lasting family memories. These trips whether to see family or vacation together as a family to us are extremely important.

Life is way too short to not take the time to reconnect with your family. The four us live crazy, hectic busy lives, and I've always found this time such a valuable way to recharge to take on the craziness of life.  My oldest has always fallen into our crazy, unscheduled, lack of any routine kind of summers without blinking an eye. We are not homebody, routine kind of people. My husband and I spent a summer literally living out of suitcases between the end of our apartment lease and closing on our first house. My youngest though is a much more scheduled kind of person; she's more similiar to mine and Nate's sisters than either of us, but she took the Glenn kind of summer like a champ this year. She was soooo good, and at the end of each summer I always feel so incredibly blessed and fortunate to watch the joy these two girls get from spending time with their family, discovering and trying new things, and just exploring this world with their mom and dad.

This summer we did not make the long drive out to Missouri because my family came out here to see our new house and save us the long trip this year, but we did make it the following places: Harper's Ferry, West Virginia; Mrytle Beach, SC;  Gettsyburg, PA for a day trip; Warren Co, Pa; Buffalo, NY with a two hour trip into  Ontario, Canada.  Within the last six months if we go back to our winter MO trip we have seen all the grandparents, great grandparents, great aunts and uncles (minus one set in Texas), and all our cousins except five of them. Maybe I focus on keeping track of crazy stuff like trying to make sure we've seen everyone in the last six months to a year to ease my conscious about the choice to raise my children so far from family, and quite honestly I'm afraid one day because of money or time (as much as I see those two things shouldn't keep us from making it happen) this will get harder and harder and years will go by without seeing our families.

So even though I worried and stressed that we wouldn't be able to do this summer again this past summer, thankfully we did because it was so great to see everyone and spend so much quality time as a family. Here are some pics from our last trip of the summer.

                                                            Niagara Falls, Canada

 

                                             The girls with their cousins, Alaina and Dylan

                                   Love this picture of Nate with his grandma and the girls

                                            

      Nate's been surrounded by girls his whole life. Her with his mom, grandma, and sister and the four kids

                                                               Nate's mom with the girls.

                                                        Kenzi loves her Nana.

                                                                Kenzi and cousin Taush

                 Averi helping Nana blow out her candles (Averi's middle name Lorenza is after Nana)

                                                     Grandpa Fred with his granddaughters.

                                                  Hanging out with Aunt Jody, Nate's sister.

Click here to read the other post I wrote about family after my family left in July



 

The Attack on Today's Parent

I recently read New York Times' "The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In" that again focused on the whole debate between moms dropping out of the work force to stay at home and moms giving up valuable family time to continue their career ambitions. They also went through though and linked about every other article or book that had been written on the topic since the late 90s so I spent half the evening reading through all the old and new pieces written on this sometimes family bashing debate, even my husband did,because some of those writers when they weren’t putting down women for their choices they were doing some major husband bashing. Then there’s the recent debate on not allowing children in restaurants because parents today aren’t disciplining them or teaching them manners. So here’s what I have to say and share with you, Moms and Dads, about parenthood choices today.

Have you fed your kids every day of their lives whether it was breast milk or formula, wal mart baby food or your own pureed baby food, frozen chicken nuggets or organic ones. None of it really matters as long as you’re not starving your kid or feeding them straight sugar all day (a little sugar doesn't hurt, right?) so you’re doing a good job.

Do you help your child stay clean? Whether you wrap their bottom in cloth or pampers or throw them in the tub or even occasionally hose them off in the backyard after they’ve played in the mud and then later decide you’re going to count that as their bath until the morning you’re still doing a good job.

Do you attempt creative things with your kids? Even if laying on the floor coloring in the Winnie Pooh coloring book is as crafty as you get then you are present in their lives so you are doing a good job.

Do you let your kid make messes, explore, try new things? Even when things end in disaster and you think maybe that was a bad idea you’re being present in their lives so again you're doing a good job.

Do you introduce your kids to something you love to do? Kids will love whatever you like to do because it’s something they do with you and they’ll do it over and over again with you because it becomes something special they associate with you so no matter what that something is you’re being present in their lives and are doing a good job.

Are you present in your kids lives every day even on those exhausted, barely functioning days? Even if your bonding time of the day is just cuddling on the couch together watching TV then you’re there showing them even tired you love them so you're still doing a good job on your worse days.

Do you accept that neither you nor your kids are perfect, that you both are always learning and growing? We are all human; we are going to make mistakes but as long as we know to accept when we’re wrong and work on doing a little better than the day before than you’re doing a good job.

Do you discipline them when they’re wrong, hold accountable for their mistakes, and then show them that’s it’s okay because we all mess up sometimes. Making this effort to teach rather than ignore when mistakes happen shows them you care and love them so you’re doing a good job.

Do you love your kids for who they are? You love them when they’re good, when they’re bad, and even when they’re at their worse (you may not like them at this moment) then you’re doing a good job.

I have a pretty huge circle of mom friends and they range from women that have given birth at home to women like myself that gave birth in a hospital with the wonderful pain meds. I have mom friends that have breastfed for two years to others that have never breastfed; some who try their hardest to stick to the organic, purest foods they can and other mom friends like myself that just try to make sure we’re hitting the food pyramid with a few sugars thrown in. Some of them work, some of them stay home, some work from home. We all make different choices, the choices that work for us and our families, but the most important one is the one no one talks about in the media induced mommy wars but it’s one I see as a teacher when working with kids. That is the choice in how we love our kids. Because the one common thing I see among all these moms I know, is the absolute unconditional love and devotion they give to their children. We are all the same in that choice. It may seem like a simple choice, but as a teacher I can unfortunately tell you that that’s not necessarily always the case. Some children go through life feeling unloved, not wanted, and it may not be because their parent doesn’t love them, it could just simply be because they don’t know how due to their own upbringing or problems like drug and alcohol addiction.

Why does our media spend so much time over a debate over choices that mothers make? I guess the thing to see is that women that care about these choices already made the only right choice. They care because they love their child, but there are children out there whose parent probably isn’t even aware of half these choices because they’re struggling with the most important choice of all-how to love and show their child they love them. Sometimes this lack of love or know how is what leads to the “these parents today” cries that society seems to want to cast down on our generation similiar to what the media is focusing on now with the recent restuarant debate about kids behavior. I know from my experience with the general public, as well as from my sister's experience as a social worker, there are “those parents today” that aren’t there for their children and therefore aren’t disciplining them or teaching them manners and accountability. But not everyone is “that parent” and for those of us that aren’t maybe we obsess over these other choices that in some ways matter very little to how our children turn out because we don’t want to be cast into that negative “parents today” category.

I feel that no matter which debate you’re looking at with either the mommy war choices or the negative “parents today” label, the only right choice and label that matters is whether we’re a loving, present parent. Working, staying home, how we choose to feed and diaper them, or every other parent debate that is out there, there really is only one that really matters. We can cover up the issue of whether and how a parent loves their child with all these other so called important choices and make parents feel less adequate for one choice over another, but the real debate is in our love and presence in their lives. So instead of wasting our time attacking parents for giving up careers for family or pursuing careers at the supposed expense of their family, if we really want to get down to a choice that is impacting our society maybe start focusing on the parents that never made the right choice in loving their child because I can unfortunately tell you they are out there.

Hey, coach, you missed the call!

Growing up my dad got my sisters and I interested in softball. For over a decade that game was our family life. My dad was also our coach most of our life. So every summer my dad dealt with around 26 teenage girls. To this day I still think he must be one hell of a man to deal with that many hormonal young girls. I always felt he missed his calling. He spent four years in the Marines, twenty years driving a truck for Pepsi, then owned his own business with my cousin for ten years, and is now semi retired working for the guy that bought his company. He should have been a coach. It wouldn’t have mattered what kind of coach either. His main sports in school were track and football so softball wasn’t even really anything he had much experience with, but he knows how to motivate people. He knows how to talk to people, to get them to listen, to think things through a little better. He doesn’t always speak his mind or call you out, but I always know when he does it’s time to listen. I always feel that he’s life’s coach. Even still as a grown woman, almost fifteen years away the days of playing that game, he’s still the coach. Still the guy I turn to when I need my head pulled out of my ass, my confidence and self esteem picked back up, need motivation to just stand up and do it. He taught you how to not back down, fight for what you want, and how to quit the whining and just get that do it already attitude. He also taught you to know when you just need to cut your losses and back down, how to accept your loss or failure gracefully and move on from it. Mistakes and losses weren’t the end; they were just the lesson for better success the next time. He wasn’t just mine and my sisters’ coach. He was everyone’s coach. Between our friends and cousins who lost dads or whose dads just weren’t around, so many people throughout life have always looked to him for his encouraging words or guidance. He’s the navigator through life for so many more than just me. Sometimes I think you missed your calling, Dad, you’re one hell of a coach even fifteen years away from the game. Even though we've always butted heads and had our disagreements, he has and always will be a man I have a great admiration for. Sometimes our greatest callings in life aren’t the ones we get paid for.