Team: You are Theirs and They are Yours

You know that feeling where your stomach is all in knots. Your palms are sweating. Your heart is beating a little faster. You're excited but scared. You're excited for the possibilities but scared of failing or not winning.

That's the way I felt when it came to sharing my writing. It was like the big moment before stepping onto the field of the big game. The spectators are anxiously waiting to see what you'll do, ready to cheer you on and pat you on the back whether you win or lose. There are always some though that want to focus on all the wrong ways you played the game and some that will point out all your mistakes rather than the things you did well.

But then you step out onto that field and you remember you're not alone. Sure, you have your moments where it's your turn to bat, your turn to make the play, but it takes a team to win and to lose. It takes a team to work together for the best results. Just as the pitcher can't win the game by herself without the team, none of us will succeed without the team of support that surrounds us.

There's unity that comes with team.  So no matter the fear that causes your heart to race, your palms to sweat, and your stomach to knot, there's a sense of belonging. You are theirs and they are yours.

Fear is such an interesting thing. Sure we all have our fear list. I fear heights, rollercoasters, and even though I can handle spiders and even snakes (as long as they're not trying to kill me) I fear mice for some strange reason. These are all concrete fears, but then there's the fear of the abstract things. There's the fear of loss, the fear of failure, the fear of rejection. When we have to face those concrete fears we will possibly experience a brief moment of intense emotion or even irrational fear, but the moment will pass and as we move on we will forget about it. But abstract fear doesn't leave you in a moment. It stays with us and in many ways it defines us.

In honesty I have done little to conquer my fear of heights, rollercoasters, or even mice. But I am well aware of my fear of those abstract things. I see the fear in myself as well as others. We hold ourselves back, we don't try, we don't move towards change because we fear the unknown, the judgments, the criticisms, the feeling of rejection.

This is where I found myself when it came to point on whether to follow through with publishing my writing. Did I want to step up to bat? Did I want to volunteer to be the pitcher of the game? So many would be watching me. Some on my side would be wringing their hands as they hoped for the best; others would silently be standing aside hoping I'd strike out so they could say I told you so. Even though I started writing as an outlet at the age of ten, I hid it for years for fear of rejection, ridicule, judgment. At ten I didn't know writing or not writing there really was no escaping of judgment or rejection. So many of us fear it because it's impossible to avoid. We will all feel judged, and we will all feel rejected at some point. That is the fear I was determine to conquer.

So just like the big game with the sweaty palms, racing heart, and knotted stomach, I told myself to just buck up and take the mound. Because you see I wasn't standing out there alone. I had a team. I had a team that believed in me; I had a team that had my back. We were going to do this together. In so many different ways they inspired me to be a better me than I was yesterday. I wanted to give it my best shot for them. I was theirs and they were mine.

I stepped on this field to play for them and so whatever I can give will be more than if I was too scared to take the field.  They rallied with me and together we'll give it our best shot. My dad always had this saying, sometimes you are going to strike out, it happens, and that's okay. But always go down swinging!

             Have you bought your copy of Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas. 20% of sales are going towards the I ROK Foundation for childhood cancer. I d love to see about 30 copies sell tonight to get us around a quarter of the way to our goal for the I ROK Foundation.

The ebook for ibookstore is now avaliable for only $4.99 so save yourself $5 +shipping and I ROK still gets the same $$ amount as the print version! Get the ebook here

Last night's release post

Book Release with 20% of this summer's sales to childhood cancer charity

A & N's Book Release with 20% of sales to childhood cancer charity this summer

Time with A & N is branching out to include its first A & N Publications book release with Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas. I am also working on  an upcoming site called the PACI Fund Project (Parents Against Childhood Illnesses), which I'm creating in hopes of other small businesses like A & N Publications, partnering together to help raise awareness and funds for charities for various childhood illnesses and diseases. For this summer 20% of the sales of the book, which is about 50% of what I will see from each book sale, will go towards a hometown charity of mine called the I-ROK Foundation, which is a foundation for childhood cancer.

                Shortly after I started Time with A & N I became aware of two things. First, that many of my fellow teachers have secondary sales businesses. Second, many of the new bloggers I met and started networking with had a product they promoted that contributed to their blogging income. Even though I considered getting into some product sales as the business aspect of blogging, it just didn’t seem like a good fit. Even though I'm going to have to put my sales and business skills to work and to the test here, my feelings are even if this doesn't really meet my hopeful expectations I don't have anything to lose so why not just give it a try and see what happens.

          I decided I would write, publish, and sell my own book as the product and brand of Time with A & N. It is a humorous and inspirational look at modern day motherhood in our 21^st Century digital world. Our children are not only the first to grow up in this new digital age, but we are the first to enter motherhood in this new age. This is not a how to or advice book about motherhood; it is not going to tell you how to mother or what type of mother you should be. Much of what you come to expect from the posts on A & N you will find in this book with chapters about letting supermom go, the chaos of trying to balance it all, the monster of mommy guilt, the media frenzy of the mommy wars, embracing imperfection in ourselves and our children, the mother to do list of the bedroom with a look at marriage after motherhood, taking time for ourselves and time to just be mommy, a journey to the girl we were to the woman we become in motherhood, and last a look at the myth of happily ever after. It’s a book you don’t have to read front to back but can read at your leisure and return to your favorite chapters that resonate with you. It is currently for sale in print for $10 and will also be available for sale as an ebook for $4.99 soon.   

Nate and I use to try to give a small monthly donation to St. Jude’s Children’s Research. As a middle class educator in our struggling economy with the constantly increasing expenses of today, unfortunately, once we had children of our own my husband and I quit donating the money. It was very little to begin with, but I always told myself one day I would go back to donating money to them. This is where the PACI part of this A & N business project comes in. Even though I've always wanted to be able to donate to children's charities again, my plan for how I plan to give back is with my readers in mind. I want to work for my readers here.  Even though St. Jude’s is a great organization, I didn’t want to commit to one charity, and I wanted my readers to be a part of this. Even though it may not be much, I like to think any little that can be given is helpful as research and expenses for any childhood illnesses are underfunded. Just as many of you are prayer warriors for various pages, there are several families that I follow on their journey through heroic battles with a variety of childhood illnesses and diseases. These families have inspired me in so many ways, and hopefully at some point I'll be able to donate to each of them that have become dear to my own heart.

             My largest readership at the moment comes from back home in my hometown of Excelsior Springs, MO, and this is an amazing community that really comes to together to support one another. Even though I never directly asked any of them about their charity of choice I’m hoping I’m correct in suggesting that the donation from book sales from now until July 31 or August 31 will be donated to Kori Quinn’s I ROK Foundation. Kori Quinn was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 13 and fought it for over five years before she passed away on February 11, 2014. During this time she created the I-ROK Foundation to raise awareness and money for childhood cancer. She was an amazing young woman that inspired all those that knew her. I unfortunately never had the privilege of meeting her personally, but I followed her journey online and just like others was always inspired by her bravery, her compassion, and her dedication to always inspire and teach those around her even as she fought for her life. 

The PACI Fund Project is kind of in limbo as I wait to see if and how many others wish to join this small business campaign to raise money and awareness for their community charities. I have heard and am waiting to hear from a few others in my hometown about also donating money over a portion of this summer. The hope is on the PACI website I would share information, links, and write features to raise awareness for the charities. I would also advertise and promote any other businesses that also agree  to donate money to any of the particular charities.  But if and where this site takes off to is really dependent on current and hopeful future readers. I hope to keep readers informed of charities and the amount of money donated to them on the PACI website.

I want to raise money and awareness for charities my readers and fellow blog community members care about so please send me your suggestions at glennbabies@gmail.com. If you are a small business owner, writer or blogger, and would like to see how you can be a part of the PACI project again please email me. I look forward to working together with my readers, friends, and the parenting blog community. You can buy your print copy of Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas for $10.00 here. 

I cannot say thank you enough to readers and my friends and family that have supported me in my pursuit of this new goal. This is my pay it forward campaign and I hope you stick along for the ride to see how it all unfolds.

I hope you enjoy the book. Buy your print copy now here. Or if you are an electronic book type person it's available in the ebook format for $4.99 here. The nice thing about the ebook is for just $5 you get the book and $2 of that still goes to the childhood cancer charity so get your copy today!

               

Saying Good bye: Eight years into Eight boxes

I am packed. Eight years into eight boxes. My last week starts tomorrow in the school I have spent eight out of ten years of my career. Even though I am excited about change and getting to experience a new school environment and culture I find myself a little sad to be moving on. There are a few students  I know that will still be there that I will miss seeing graduate next year, and there are freshmen and sophomores I won't get to see through on their high school journey, but as a teacher your students are always move on so like any job when it's time to move on it's the people you leave behind that brings the sadness.

Working relationships are always interesting relationships. We spend the majority of our day five days a week with those we work with. In all honesty I thought for a long time that part of professionalism was keeping my work life seperate from my personal. Especially since I was kind of the black sheep. Most of my female coworkers are Catholic raised school girls who were more the morally superior kind rather than the rebel without a cause kind. My mother tried once to make me a Catholic, but that failed about as much as making me a girly girl. They were more the teacher's pet kind; whereas,I spent my high school days trying to figure out how to best terrorize our aging gym teacher. Sorry, Mrs. Shepard.

However, for whatever reason, they wanted to pull me into their circle of friendship. The interesting thing about work friendships is because you spend almost every day together, overtime you tend to see the good and bad about each other. I've spent a lot of time with women, first as one of three girls, second I spent five years working in the daycare field which is dominated by women, and now as part of an English department which up until this year has been almost all women. Women are interesting creatures to say the least. We are highly emotional, can be fiercely competitive, and rather than confront our disagreements and disappointments with one another we'd much rather deal with it in hurtful and unproductive ways so I'd say we're a stubborn bunch too. So in the working woman's environment you discover all the little ways you can annoy and drive each other crazy. Like good friends or sisters you also know how to push each other's buttons.

There are four of us that remind me of our own group of sisters, and after so many years together I think we love and fight like sisters at times. There's Becky, which is the oldest sister. She's always leading, guiding, taking care of things and the others. As a friend she's the one I've known the longest. We both started at my school at the same time eight years ago. She's from the Midwest like me. I love how we share this understanding of the difference between life in the Midwest and life here on the East Coast. We'd spend the first half our breaks texting each other about where we were  on our route back west.  She was not a Catholic school girl but is a good girl through and through.

I would probably be considered the second. Again I was probably the black sheep. I like to drink, definitely had my fair share of party days and bad decisions, and have never been a big rule follower or people pleaser. I would still say around them I'm probably the quietest one.

Then there's Sarah. She's your middle sister mediator or as we call it in my real family the perfect one. She's been a part of the group for only four or five years, but she's the easiest one to get along with. She reminds me of my own real life middle sister. Laid back and about impossible to find fault with.

Then there's Emily, the baby. She is the youngest, but her and I have worked together for seven years. We've coached together and were pregnant together (actually her, Sarah, and I all had babies within a nine month span). She's the original Marylander, and like any baby sister that you like to antagonize we occasionally like to throw a few  Midwest vs East Coast jabs at her. She will fiercely defend her home state though. Like my own real life baby sister, she's a people pleaser, always willing to do what others ask, but also easy to antagonize :)

There are many others I will miss. There are three other women that have been in the department since I've been there. They were like the oldest sisters. Two of them are moms. One with grown children and the other with two girls herself around the high school age. Once I entered motherhood they were a wonderful support to me, always offering encouragement and advice as a working mom. The other one left a few months ago but over the years her and I created our own friendship, but through Facebook have been able to stay in touch.

I find work relationships rather fascinating at times because you can't help but to become friends, but there's that blurred line of professional and personal. As I told my one coworker "sister" now we can just be friends. We don't have to have all that other political/professional stuff mixed in there somewhere. I will miss the comfortably and familiarity of seeing their faces and chatting with them everyday, but I'm looking forward to being "just" friends.

Just as I flew the nest once before (fitting right, Eagles?) when I left my childhood home and my real family, I'm a little sad for what is being left behind but excited for what waits on the horizon. Just as I learned before, friendships that are true will last the change.

So long, OM, you'll always have a fond place in my heart as there were many memories and relationships made in these eight years. I wish you all the best.

  One of the few pics of the whole female part of the department with rookie Bob in the background.







Picture of the four of us, plus our other sister who moved on two years ago, Mary, with our four kids between us.

     Now pics of the kids because well they're way cuter than us! :)

I Like Kids and All But....

I'm a teacher, before I taught teenagers I spent five years working in daycare, and now I have two kids of my own. So I must like kids, right? And I do BUT man are they exhausting. From my high school kids to my own two at home they can just really convince me it d be less painful to just beat my head on the wall a couple times rather than trying to reason with them or deal with their constant helplessness.

All day it's "Mommy, I want milk"
"Mrs. Glenn I have to go to the bathroom," two seconds after they walk in the door.
"Mommy I don't want to clean up right now."
"What are we doing again, Mrs.Glenn," for the fourteenth time.
"Mommy, carry me"
"Mrs. Glenn I don't know how to do this." Even though I explained it for what seemed like fourteen times!

If it's not them and their neediness it s me with the constant, sit down, be quiet, get back to bed, why aren't you doing your work, why are you doing that to your sister, get your finger out of your nose, quit throwing paper balls, why are your clothes off, what are you thinking wearing that?

I like kids and all but OMG they are a lot of work. And I'm not really sure what I accomplished after all that exhausting work. At the end of the school day and the day they're all still full of so much energy and I'm left beat and exhausted.

They may look precious and sweet but there s a whole lot of mischief just waiting to unfold as soon as those big eyes open.

Where is Home?

 June 20 marks the anniversary of the day I left Missouri. This June 20 it will mark nine years since I left home. Some days I can't believe it's already been nine years, and other times it feels like it's been so much longer. Unless you're new here I'm sure you've read the story here about me leaving home.


It really is amazing how much your life can change in just nine short years. To be honest I'm not really sure what I expected when I took the leap of faith to move east. Some days I miss home more than others. I swear saying good bye to my family gets harder rather than easier. Now that we have the girls I often ask myself if Maryland is the place to call home. Sometimes I feel that we've isolated ourselves, but other times I think how amazing it is that we stay as close to our families as we do regardless of the distance and that we've found family in the great friendships we've made.

Some days we talk about leaving Maryland. Where would we go? We don't even really know. Even though Nate is a Raven hater, no matter where life takes us, Maryland will always have a special place in our hearts. We are within three hours of four huge cities, two hours to the beaches, less than two hours to the mountains. I learned about diversity here. I've met and taught people from different countries all over the world. I proved my independence here. This place has become a part of me too.

I often ask myself where is home. As I said in Roots and Wings Missouri is the place that gave me my roots that go much deeper than that young girl that left actually knew, but Maryland has given me my wings. Missouri is home to the girl I was but Maryland has become home to the woman I am. I became an adult here, started my family here, spent the majority of my career here. I could not easily leave this place now. Just as a part of me will always belong and be a part of a little town in Missouri a part of me will always belong here too. Home is where the people we love and love us back are, as well as the place that molds who we are and what we become.

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