Monday, October 19, 2015

Life is Going...

Life right now is crazy busy. At work I have SLOs I'm working my way through, it's PBA time with the end of the quarter approaching as well as deadlines for senior recommendations from my juniors from last year, as well as facing the deadline for the first 50 pages of the yearbook so it's a heightened period of stress at work. Nate is taking his required school district training in the evening to move into the AP pool within two years, as well as taking on the other leadership responsibilities his school has given him, on top of trying to play in a baseball league. Between us and the kids for the past two weeks we've had something every day except Thursday and Sunday. This week it's something every day except Tuesday and Thursday. It's the Fall which is usually our worst time of the year for money with coming off of summer and getting ready for the holidays, and there's still the closer monitoring of my pregnancy as we're closing out the first trimester and moving into the second trimester and along with that happy progression also comes having to start to think about refurnishing the nursery because our spastic giant puppy last year decided to eat the crib, as well as the woodwork (no joke).  I'm not even going to get into the disaster that my house becomes by Thursday due to everything. Let's just say we may have to consider joining a nudist society soon because I don't know if our laundry is ever going to be caught up at this point. We're also going through the process of refinancing our house, which is a huge financial positive for us but lots of paperwork collecting on my part.  So there's probably reason to feel a little stressed and overwhelmed right now, but honestly I feel GREAT. It is such a huge relief to feel overwhelmed (never thought I'd say that)  but like myself in being able to take it in stride. I missed that girl that could just do it, and thank God she's back.

I could totally still use a household personal assistant. While Nate's been tackling phone calls to get the heat in both houses fixed and make reservations for our December  Polar Express trip, I've been dealing with bank paperwork and trying to figure out what to do for a four year old birthday party as well as trying to get started on my personable photo gifts for the holiday that family has come to love and expect. That personal assistant could totally receive a bonus for tackling that obnoxious never ending pile of laundry. But I'm surviving without her. It's always fun to dream though, right?

The flip side of feeling great though and like I have a handle on the chaos is I don't write in here nearly as much. Not because I don't have the time. Because believe me when I was writing in here every other day or so, it wasn't because I had the time but because I had such a need for an outlet to work my way through some stress and hard times with everything from my professional to my personal life. I'm not in that place anymore. Sometimes I miss that connection with readers and people, but I also realize other people are drawn to those down, struggling posts because it helps them feel like they're not alone. I didn't mind sharing my personal struggles and frustrations because sharing it really was helpful to me, and hopefully along the way it helped other people. One of the best things with airing out my emotions on here was the connection to other people. But I'm just not in that place anymore.  I hope that anyone that was in one of those ruts of their own life aren't there anymore either. Life has its ups and downs, and the hope is that the down moments don't last too long. I've even thought about letting the blog go but life is a cycle I know and there will be other times I need this place.

Even though I've definitely found myself on one of the ups in life right now, , I'm one of those people that when I'm on the up side I spend way too much time worrying about how long is it going to last. Oh, my Gosh, when is the bottom going to fall out again? I hope when it gets rough again it's not that bad. Please, don't let it be my health or anyone in my family's health. I would so much rather take the financial or job struggles any day over serious health struggles.  I worry  "when things get too stressful am I going to crack again" or is "another baby going to be the thing that sends me back to that stressed unable to cope woman". But I don't want to go there so let's stay on the positive.

Right now I am just incredibly grateful for how well things worked out with my new job. I really am loving it again. I am so grateful now that the dust has settled with moving, not only is this house feeling like home but this town is starting to feel like the forever home community wise we were looking for. I can't say enough how blessed I am with my girls. They really are great girls, crazy moments of when they're fighting with me or each other excluded ,  and we are so excited about baby #3. I love the energy and love for life the girls bring to our world every day , and I can't wait to see how a third one fits in with these two. Last but not least  of course, I'm thankful for my husband, my partner in everything with this life of ours. When I'm not complaining about his driving and he's not complaining about my laundry or lack of laundry skills, we make a pretty damn good team.

                                                                 My theatrical child

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