The Story of the Bloody Nose

I am actually not completely sure what the story of the bloody nose is. I was getting ready to get in the shower, I thought I had left the girls watching TV on the couch, and Nate was downstairs watching TV. Next thing I know I hear him hollering, "What happened?!?"

I wander out of my room, wondering what now? Can't we just have a quiet evening at home?  At the sight of blood gushing out of my two year old's nose I realize I guess that's too much to ask for. She was bleeding like crazy. It was on Nate, all over her. She had it smeared on her forehead somehow. Averi is as bewildered as we are to what happened because I guess she ended up going downstairs to watch TV with Nate and Kenz went into the playroom.

Trying to ask a two year old what happened is about impossible. First of all, not only does she speak a baby foreign language half of the time but she was upset. When she gets upset she stops breathing. Her eyes were doing their usual roll back in her head that they do when she's getting ready to pass out (I know most parents would freak out at a passed out kid but this is kind of normal for her). We managed to get her to calm down enough that she didn't pass out.

I went in search of what possibly caused this bloody nose. I followed the trail of blood to a blind rod laying on the floor in which the tip of it was smeared with snot and what looked like a little bit of blood. I took it upstairs to ask Kenz what happened with it, and apparently when you are two shoving a blind rod up your nose is cool. Where do kids get these ideas? I don't even know where the blind rod came from. I think it fell down a few days ago and the girls were using it as magic wand. Maybe she was trying to do a trick. Like shove it up her nose and see if the whole thing disappeared. They did go see a magic show a month ago.

Now here we are two days later and even though her nose is not gushing blood anymore we are still wiping blood out of her nose. I am not an injury panic parent. If they're not bleeding or bones sticking out of their bodies I tell them be tough and get up. Growing up with my parents you had to have a broken bone for about three days before my parents would maybe be convinced you needed to see a doctor so I guess maybe I come by this honestly. I guess my question is should I be concerned her nose is still bleeding a little?

So yes I'm really on a roll with this parenting thing. I have one that barely missed stabbing her eye out with a stick from the sled riding incident according to my husband (rolling my eyes here) and now one again according to my husband that could have poked her brain and caused herself brain damage (really is that possible?)  Crazy kids. They need some bubble wrap.



                                                             "I'm innocent, really!"

 

 

My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas, for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99. 

 

Health & Fitness Check in Week 2

By Taking It Back with Insanity got positive feedback and gave me support so I decided I'd give weekly updates as I go through this new fitness and healthier eating journey I've started. I am two weeks into my nine week goal of completing the Insanity workouts and running a 5k at the end, which I still have to sign up for.

I have either done insanity or jogged/walked 1-2 miles every day but this past Sunday for the last 15 days. Everyday. I have never in my adult life worked out that much. I don't expect it to continue as my schedule picks up in mid August, but I'm hoping I can stick to at least 5 days a week from mid August to mid September. Just from the end of week 1 to the end of week 2 I lost 4 lbs. I'm not sure what I lost from the first week because I didn't weigh myself. I know. I should have, but I have to be honest I haven't wanted to step on a scale for  the last year and a half. If I could keep up an average of 3 lbs a week for my remaining 7 weeks by the end of my first 60 days I'll be down to within 10 lbs of what I weighed before the girls and in the average BMI category for my height. From there I'd like to think I'd be in the habit of eating better and have found a workout that works with my busy mom life in order to hopefully lose the last 5-10 lbs and maintain it from there out.

Working out isn't where I worry about "falling off the wagon" so to speak. I know from my past that I can make working out a habit. I just have to make it happen as a mom, and I believe I can do that now. I am huge fan of the Beachbody workout videos, especially with my choice to combine it with outdoor walking/running, when that is convient with my schedule and the weather. I really think it is the answer to my too busy mom problem.

I do worry about how consistent I can be with the eating.  I could never be a completely clean eater. However, I eat way too much sugar and would like to make healthier choices. I can't do diets and if I feel like I can't eat what others are eating I would feel like I'm on a diet, which is a fail for me. I have two friends/cousins doing their own fitness and health journey at the moment too in which we share support,  resources,  and ideas. As suggested by my friend,  I am shopping for smarter snacking options because if I have good stuff to snack on I will. But when we do things as a family such as s mores like we did Friday I am using self discipline to not overindulge so I had one. I also ate out this weekend in which I still ordered the same things, but I did think about portion control.  I Do Not like to waste food. To me it s like wasting money, and anyone that knows me well knows I stretch every penny that comes in this house as much as I possibly can so I'm working on being okay with not eating everything. I've been keeping a food journal in which I write down what I eat and count calories. During the week last week, I was eating between 1500-1800 calories a day. Over the weekend though I averaged 2100 calories a day for Saturday and Sunday so obviously I have better self discipline during the week.

But Monday, I got back on track with not only picking up with my workout after my first rest day but only eating 1500 calories. I am still searching for more snacking options, and since I know have three friends selling beachbody I'm pretty sure I'll be checking out the Shakeology product at some point when I decide I want to part with my money. I'm not sure how long I'll keep the food journal. At least for these first sixty days, and then it'll probably depend on where I'm at in relation to my goals and how confident I am on whether I can commit to being consistent with eating better without a daily results sheet telling me how I did. The WebMD Food Journal for now gives me accountability for myself. Writing in here is also going to give me accountablility, as well as my good friend here where I live who invited me into her secret fitness club :) and my cousin in which we check in and cheer each other on every other day or so. This companionship of feeling like we're in this together too I think will also be a huge help in helping me be successful this time. It's been another reminder to me in this journey of motherhood and womanhood how much we really do need each other.



Recent Posts

Living Love

The Witching Hour of Parenthood



My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas,  for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99.


 

Living Love

In the Fall of 2003 I met the man that would become my husband.  In the Spring of 2004 he asked me to pack up and leave with him. In 2005 we headed East in two soon to be broken down cars with a TV, a microwave,  a few clothes and personal belongings, and a limpy for life dog. Within less than 48 hours lost in the sweltering July DC heat we were ready to kill each other.

We found an apartment in a place ironically called Avery Park Apartments (no planned connection to naming our first daughter Averi ). That first year said so much about how we'd love, fight,  and live with a passion.

We are two very strong minded independent personalities that God knows when we don't agree it s like an F 5 tornado with harsh words and raw emotions flying everywhere regardless what damage we lay in our wake.

But as strong as we are independently we also know we bring out the best in one another. To you I am the realist,  the one that keeps our feet on the ground. To me you are the one that teaches me to always dream bigger, that to truly live life is to make having fun a priority.

Somewhere between us in almost 10.5 years together,  7 years of marriage,  2 houses,  2 kids, and even 2 pets later we've managed to build a life that s getting more financially secure every year (responsible me) but full of never ending adventure and even bigger dreams (you).

We literally came out here with about nothing except our love for one another; the support of those that even though they thought we were crazy would support us in all our endeavors;  faith in ourselves, God,  and our dreams; and our never ending passion for living life. We built a life, and it s a life I wouldn't trade for anything.  Maybe it s boastful but it s a life I'm proud of.

We have always lived life by our own set of rules. Sure we're law abiding citizens most of the time but we've always traveled this road called life maybe a little too fast, maybe a little too carelessly but I love it.  It s ours.

It is so easy to get distracted by the negative things in life, to let the things that don't work out the way we want beat us down, but our glass is 3/4 full. The other 1/4 are the great things to come.

And they will come because I believe in him, I believe in me, but even more I believe in who we are together.




                                      A trip down memory lane March 2004-January 2009

                                     Adult sled riding (also known as with alcholol and maybe not safe)

                                      Swimming at the bottom of Bridal Veil Falls in Yosemite

                                             Cowboy camping in Great Sequioa

                                                          Cruising from Florida to the Bahamas

                                                   Snorkeling in the Bahamas

                                                         Kissing on some beach

                                              Brining Bettis into our story-January 2005

                                                     Three day canoe trip down Clarion River

                                    Getting ready to hike down to the valley floor of Yosemite

                                              Golden Gate Bridge of San Franscisco

                        The time we canoed in a metal canoe in the middle of a lightening storm

                                                    Swimming in river in a cave in Mexcio

                                                One of many Clarks concerts

                                                     Stadium Kenny Chesney concert

                              Funny faces in the Fingerlakes New York-must be after all the wine

                 On the banks of the Great Lakes in Ohio is where we discovered our love for wineries

                                              One of many hikes in California

The time we thought it'd be cool to drive halfway across the country in a Jeep with no top and of course it poured on us.

                                                       Probably partying somewhere

                                                               Mayan Ruins

                                              Letting him talk me into Rappeling

                                                     Swimming in Bridal Veil Falls

                                                          Canoeing

                                        Trying to show me up in the rappelling adventure

                                                     The Great Redwoods!

              

                                 Someone had this crazy dream to  buy a house, renovate it, and rent it.

                                                         Cheering on the O's

                                              Philly Cheesesteak in Philadelphia after Metallica

                                                            Scuba Diving in Mexico

                                                           Hiking in Shenandoah

                                                 Only smile I had for scuba diving-not a fan

                                                    Some other beach

                                                      Shamrock Fest in DC for St. Patty's

                                                   Yeah, I'm still thinking renovating a house was a bad idea

                                                                  Virginia Wine Trail

                                               Ziplining-Definitely a fan of this

My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas, for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99.

The Stories our Lives Write

One of my former students posted this beautiful post about how our lives are stories written by God. Our name is the title and our memories and moments are the table of contents. All the people that cross our paths are the characters in our stories that shape and continue to mold the story as it unfolds. She wrote more that was just as beautiful, but that's the part I'm stealing from a wonderful former of student who continues to teach and inspire me everyday with her insight into the world as she discovers it.


Even though everyone doesn't have a blog or love to write like I do or have their whole life story stashed in journal notebooks upon notebooks buried in some fire proof safe now years later, we all tell a story. I watch those stories unfold every day whether it's because I see you on a day to day basis, talk to you throughout the week, or stay in touch through social media. We are all teaching other people with our stories. Don't ever think that your story doesn't matter because someone is always watching and learning from you. I watch many of you, I learn from many of you, so many different people inspire me every day with their stories. Here's a peak into my story that lead to what you know as Time with A & N and where I'd like to see the story go.


Three years ago...


I was sitting in my parents' living room and my sister was cutting my hair. She's a professional hair stylist and God love her but she's always pestering me about how I should take better care of my hair. Her being horrified of the status of my scalp and supposed dirty hair really wasn't anything new; however, this time I burst into tears. My dad, who always knows how to handle my angry outbursts, was sitting on the couch and I think for once actually didn't know what to tell me. Even Tammy was speechless. I'm sure they were thinking "who are you and what have you done with my sister/daughter?" This was not me and they knew it.

But this wouldn't be the first time. I don't remember how many times I'd get in the shower and cry. Another incident happened where again I found myself at work in tears. At work! I am not a crier on a whim type person. It was the constant crying that was sounding the alarm bells. I was stressed, nothing I did felt like enough, and the confidence I always carried so easily in my life was gone. I lost my happy and that made me even more mad at myself. I've always seen my life as so incredibly blessed. I have a great huge family, the greatest friends in the world, a house, a career I've always enjoyed, and we make it on what we make. There are people fighting for their lives, for their homes, for their children's lives and here I was crying about what? I hated it, hated myself. My mother and sister told me to go see a doctor, get put on anti depressants. I said no because "I don't need a damn pill to make me happy". 

Between April 2013 and Aug 2013 I did three things. I started writing again. The first time I wrote my way out of something was when I was ten years old and my uncle, the dad of my cousin who is like another sister to me, was dying from cancer and I had to find not only some way to deal with my own sadness but how to handle the devastation I saw my cousins, aunt, and dad go through losing someone they loved so much to such a horrid disease. I also went to the doctor and was actually diagnosed with a thyroid problem that after six months they finally got regulated with a prescription (a pill for life as much as I hate that). And I prayed for myself. I've prayed since I was a little girl, but the only way I've ever prayed for myself was to keep those I loved healthy and safe. This time I prayed for me and whatever was mentally broken in me.


All of it worked. I feel happier again. I still get stressed out. I still get worked up but back in my usual tempermental, not emotional way, now. I feel confident again in the roles I play. I still struggle sometimes with the whole motherhood balancing act. Don't we all? I've learned to accept it's a learning curve. I'm okay. I feel like me again.

I started going public so to speak with this blog in April 2013, which is also when I started writing Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas (even though it had a totally different title then). I started it with no real purpose in mind. Something drove me back to it and I just went with it. Originally it was suppose to be about the girls, and sometimes it is, but over time it became more about me and my struggles and triumphs, about motherhood and women today, and about building community and support. I have a few friends (like seriously maybe two but still enough to make me wonder if they're real friends) that have been rather unsupportive of my writing journey, but the rest have become an amazing support system of me in all my roles.  I didn't even know I needed them until now when I don't know how I'd make it without them.


When it comes to my writing and I look back at the last two years I'm happy with what I see. I've published over 20 articles on two different women/motherhood websites, have been selected as the week's top feature blog post out of 100-200 posts several times in the motherhood blogging community, I've had two non fiction pieces published in a very small  literary magazine, and recently had my Chicken Soup for the Soul publication and now released my own book.

I tell myself not to make goals with my writing; this is my outlet. Writing has always been something I kept hidden and deep inside myself. I guarded it and what it does for me closely. I know I'm not some big time writer (my grammar sucks and I think putting that kind of dedication into it would eliminate the safe haven it's been for me) but my passion and whatever ability I do have for it I see as something God gave me, and He sent me on this path for a reason. I knew long before I published Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas I wanted to use it towards something bigger than myself which is why I'm donating 20% of sales, which is probably almost 50% of what I make, to different children's charities. Writing is not about making money to me. Writing to me is about sharing, it's about inspiring, it's about telling my story and encouraging you to embrace yours.


With print book sales I will be donating $75 next Thursday when I get my first royalty check for Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas. I will make another donation the end of August when my ebook sales hopefully report. Over the last fifteen months readers have shared how I've made them laugh, made them cry, made them think,  made them feel like they're not alone, made them want to be better at something so even though I've tried to push my book on you (but hopefully you've already bought it, right? :)) I don't feel like I've ever asked for anything in return. Today I'm going to.  I'm going to ask every person that reads this post and has read so many before this to do something in return for me.


Kori Quinn was an amazing young woman whose story inspired and moved people. She fought her battle with cancer from the age of 13 until she passed this past February at the age of 18. This young woman while fighting for her life as a child started a foundation called the I ROK Foundation to raise money and awareness for pediatric cancer. Her story is a true inspiration. Her story was short but one of the most powerful ones I know. I'm asking you, my reader, right now to click on the link below to make a $5 donation to Kori's I ROK Foundation for pediatric cancer. $5 that's it. The link below will take you to the site and then the DONATE NOW button is to your left. If even just 100 people (and I know over 100 have read this blog) would give just $5 that would be $500 raised. Even if you're a reader from back home and already made a donation in a different way, what's another $5 (think of it as a reader's fee)?  Here is the link,   http://www.i-rokfoundation.org. Click on it now and make your donation before you forget. Thanks, readers! God Bless!

My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas, for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99.

 

The Daily Witching Hour of Parenthood

I have been a working 7-3 mom, a working 7-5 mom, a part time working mom of a few hours a day or only 2 days a week (summer schedule), and I've been able to be a stay at home (again a few weeks here and there throughout the year), and it does not matter which working or staying at home I am around 6:00 at night I have learned is the witching hour of parent hell in my house.


The kids all of sudden cannot wait for dinner and want me to eat me out of house and home with their demand for more snacks. Then it's more  milk, more water, open this, whoops I spilled this, yogurt is all over the kitchen floor again, they put their food or drink down and now the cat or dog is eating or drinking it, now they're crying hysterically because the cat or dog took their food, now I have to clean this up, soothe tears, make them yet another drink or a tie them over snack so they'll just get out of my hair so we can get the table cleared off and dinner on the table. Dinner is usually the eye of the storm. Besides playing the bribe game to get my two year old to eat, we laugh, share stories of the day, and relax to enjoy each other's company.


Then after dinner the chaos of the storm picks up again. I'm trying to do dishes, he's trying to get them in the tub but there must be something exhilarating about running around the house naked, so then it's catch the naked girl and get her in the tub. Before I can finish all the dishes and getting at least the kitchen and the living room back together they're finished with their bath running naked again, asking me to put their jammies on them. Then even though the little one's clothes are too small for the big one she insists that they share clothes for the night and wear each other's so then I have to convince them they're not at the age yet to share clothes. Then between trying to get them to brush their teeth, comb their hair, and get in bed we have to go look for a lost teddy, one of us half the time takes a spill on the wet bathroom floor so more tears (hopefully not mine) have to be cleaned up, we have to find the cat to try to convince her she's going to sleep with the girls for the night, if we have work/school the next day it's the preteen debate over what the five year old wants to wear. Once they're finally tucked in for the night I hope, it's damage control on the bathroom that has bathwater everywhere, bath toys from the toilet to the tub, toothpaste smeared on the vanity, and mouthwash and toothpaste spit all over the sink. I get the last of everything cleaned up, think I'm going to shower and have a moment to myself and one needs a drink of water, that wasn't the right bear, am I going to stay upstairs because they're scared, and the concerns and the wants just keep coming.


Working mom, stay at home mom, part time working mom, either way I have decided the hardest working part of any woman's day is dinner prep to past bedtime when hopefully they FINALLY go to sleep! Love them but I swear that stretch of time, probably because no matter what it's the end of the day and we're tired and grumpy, is the test of motherhood stamina.

"What do you mean I'm not suppose to put sissy's lip gloss in my hair after bath? I was just trying to style it, Mom"

Recent Posts

To the Haters I Thank You

Insanity to Take It All Back

To Be a Child

My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas,   for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99. Use the coupon code HAMMOCK14 for 20% off the print copy now through Thursday, July 24.







To the Hater I Thank You

Several of my friends lately that are pursuing new things or pushing even further with the things they've decided to strive for have made post recently about "the haters" hating on them as they work towards their personal goals. Oh, the haters. They are there. Always lurking in the shadows, wanting to shoot down your goals and ambitions, your lifestyle, your choices. They want to criticize, and they try to make you doubt yourself. They don't want you to succeed or to be happy.

I've had many haters in my life. Most of them have been good friends or even family, but here's the thing. I love the hater. The hater pushes and motivates me even more because I get some smug satisfaction out of proving them wrong. I've had haters my whole life.  Maybe all of us do in some ways. Just as an adult they were there when I wanted to move East, they are there when it comes to the way we live our family life with our love for wanting to travel and go, they were there when we wanted to keep our first home as an investment property and rent it,  they were there when it came to wanting a new job, they are there when it comes to my writing, they've even been there when I said I wanted a big dog.  It's always you can't do that, it's too much, that's not going to work for you.

If it's something I care about or really want the more someone tells me not to do something the more I want to do it. The key word here is I have to care. Some people will hate on you trying to convince you to care more about something they want you to care about, but if I don't care I usually just roll my eyes and go on my merry way. Guess my adolescent self is still there inside me.

I've even been a hater myself.  I'm not going to lie, but I also make myself stop to think why I'm hating. Sometimes with some people I'm just very opinionated but when I'm hating - when any of us are hating- it's because we're jealous or envious, and it's often a result of our own insecurities. Here's what I tell myself- admit at least to myself I'm jealous (which is pretty much every time someone gets to visit a place that I haven't been to yet) and move on from it (it's on the list but I can't get to everywhere I want to go at once so just be patient and wait my turn). If it's because it makes me feel insecure I need to decide how important it is to me. If it really matters to me then turn that hate to inspiration and do something about it. When it's not really that important then walk away from it, just forget about it.

So to the one with the haters just keep doing what you're doing. Use them as motivation and think of how good it will feel to prove them wrong. When or if you're the hater ask yourself why. If it's because you're insecure about something about yourself and it really bothers you do something about it. If it's because you're jealous because honestly sometimes we are especially if it's something outside of our control that's okay too. Just admit it to yourself at least,  don't let it build resentment in your relationship with that person, and always follow it with a thought about yourself that makes you feel good about the individual you are.

But if you're constantly tearing down someone for everything they do then do both of you a favor and just walk away from the relationship.  It turns into a very fake tolerant relationship. If you're spending so much time trying to tear down someone else's happiness maybe you better refocus your energy to building up your own.

 

 

My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas,  for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99. Use the coupon code HAMMOCK14 for 20% off the print copy now through Thursday, July 24.

Insanity to Take It All Back

I wasn't going to even address that I am attempting the Insanity workout plan until I knew I could be successful with it. But as someone who tries to share the highs and lows when it comes to the motherhood balancing act, I figured this something I had to share before I knew whether I was going to succeed or fail again.  As I told my husband a month or so ago I just have to get it in my head that I really want this, that it is important to me, and I will do it. With most things in my life once I make my mind up about something I will push until I get what I want. However, over the last five years of motherhood I have failed miserably at this. Here's the background story.

As most know by now I was an athlete, and in the high school I went to, using one of your elective classes for weight training was not an option if you wanted to be a starter on our athletic teams. Through high school between weight lifting class and daily practices for softball and basketball teams most of the time I was getting in probably about two workouts a day, especially if it was basketball, with all those suicides! I never thought about it at that time as working out, but as I headed off to college I jogged and/or went to the gym a couple times a week. For the two years between college and when we bought our house in the city, I had Bettis as a puppy so him and I would jog. Now realize by jog because I hate to run to some it may just be considered a fast walk. When we bought our house in the city I got a gym membership to Golds. For the three years before Averi came I would go to the gym about three times a week. I went to the gym until I was around seven months pregnant with her. I pretty much had a six month maternity leave with her so I went back to the gym when I got the okay from my doctor. When she was six months I went back to work and this is where it all went to crap. Well, there's a second factor here in a minute.

I could balance work and the gym and I could balance work and a baby, but I failed miserably at balancing work, baby, and gym. I never got back in a consistent routine. When the weather was nice for a few weeks at a time throughout the year I'd get into a habit of walking regularly with the baby, but as soon as the weather changed for too long I'd give that up.

I'm not going to share my weight but I'll share my BMI info instead. Before I ever had kids I had a BMI of 24. Once you hit 25 you go into the overweight category. After the birth of each of my girls I would go back to that weight within about five pounds so I was toeing the line of being in the normal range to the overweight range. What happened later was not a result of not losing pregnancy weight. I breastfed both of my girls, and they do not lie when they say that helps you cut your weight quickly. I also only gained 20-25 pounds with each girl so that probably helped too.

The second factor came in probably a year after my second daughter was born. However, it was one of those things that you don't even realize is happening as it's happening. I've been honest before about being depressed and my reluctance to medically do anything about it. A year after my second daughter was born,  we were going through the process of renting out our first home and buying our second home. I am the one that handles our financially planning and managing. On top of that I was having my worst year ever in the classroom. Those two things combined also contributed to a rocky year for my marriage. My mom had told me once before how stress can be the big trigger in depression, and I guess moms don't lie. All that stress I think is what lead to my depressed, very agitated state. A year later though I would also learn I had a thyroid problem that the doctor says could also have chemically caused my depression. Either way in that year I think I dealt with my stress by eating my way through it. Ask my coworkers. I was never a big soda drinker and I reached a point where I was like a caffeine addict and had to have it everyday. If I didn't have it during the work day I was grabbing it on the way home, usually with a candy bar. If it wasn't a candy bar I was going to chik fil a for a milkshake. So that 20-25 pounds I would gain with each pregnancy came back and I didn't have a baby to deliver this time to get rid of the weight!

Last year was the year I think of as taking back me. My depression is gone, whether it's truly the thyroid medicine or not, I don't know, but I know mentally I feel SO MUCH better. So times knowing the difference from how I felt before to how I feel now makes we want to just shout out how happy I am again, hence maybe the sometimes too chirpy posts for some. Even though I definitely still get stressed and bitchy, it passes quickly. It doesn't consume my life like it felt like it did for a year. I'm human, right. We're all allowed our bad moments.

But last year I took back me. I loved my job again. I was even able to pick up teaching a college class, which I also loved, and worked towards some of my writing goals on the side. My family life was more organized and happy again. I found me again, the girl that can balance career and family and fit in time for something for myself.

Now I've decided is the time to take back that last part of me-my health and fitness. I think I finally got it in my head that I'm going to do this; there's no excuses or quitting this time. Now the unconventional timing part of this is I'm doing this at a time where we're also trying to conceive a third child so maybe it doesn't seem like the greatest time. But pregnant doesn't mean you can't exercise, and I feel if I'm already in the habit and been committed to this for months then it'll be easier to get back on track after I deliver. If it takes months or even a year to get pregnant, it'll be better to get rid of this excess weight before I get pregnant anyway.

So now you know the background so now a look at how this first week went. First I haven't worked out six days straight since probably high school. I have also never pushed myself like Insanity made me since probably Coach Godsey on the basketball court. My cousin is doing the same workout as me, and I have found this motivating as we check in with each other everyday and I think we're just competitive enough with each other that hopefully neither of us will quit before the sixty days are up because neither one of us will like the idea that the other one finished it when we didn't. I've also just discovered a friend of mine who started a FB secret girls fitness club so we help keep each other motivated too. My sixty days also expires the same day as the 5K she almost has me talked into running with her. I have enjoyed the workouts and now I see my cousin was right. I actually look forward to them.

Here's the thing I've been looking for. I need something that is going to work with my busy mom life. The gym doesn't work because if I stay too late at work then I feel I don't have time to fit it in before picking up the kids. I am not a get in the car at 10 at night when everything has settled and go to the gym kind of person either. I have also always had to drop kids off at daycare in the morning at 7:00 so dropping them off earlier isn't much of an option, plus I am not a morning person. Running/walking outside again hasn't worked the best for me because if I take the kids we have to stop and look at every mud puddle and insect crawling on the ground so it doesn't push me much. Even though there is a mile long dirt road behind our house that I've ran again I have to be able to leave the kids to do that. The thing I really like about the workout videos is I can do it right in my house with the kids either doing it with me or while they're playing or doing their own thing. It's not the same workout every day, and they push you outside your comfort zone. I did the videos five days this week but ran yesterday (alone), and I like the idea of that combination. Most of the time I'll do the videos but when I have an opportunity to escape my house and run outside then take it. I think I'm going to do this 5K in DC with my friend for this prostate cancer researcher's team in Sept so fitting in a run or two once or twice a week will hopefully be a good blend. My main concern with sticking with this is when I go back to work, but I will be down to the last four weeks of the nine weeks then. If I can stick to the 5-6 days a week for those first four weeks then I think I'll be good because after I'm done with Insanity I have my sights set on T25 I think and possibly cut back to four times a week. I have a couple friends that are on the beachbody train, and before I invest anything with money I always tentatively test the waters so if this goes well I have a couple plans in mind.

Last week my focus was just on getting into a workout habit and seeing how it went physically and mentally, but I've already started to think about changing my eating habits. I found these awesome chocolate peanut butter protein bars that are so going to be my candy fix solution. I have two friends that sell Beachbody products and just about have me convinced to buy into the Shakeology stuff so I think I may also try that to help with my afternoon problem as this is when I usually indulge in the bad stuff. I eat yogurt and granola for breakfast (when I'm working) and will usually bring salads, those frozen  supposedly healthy meals, or leftovers for lunch, and if we can get away from frying so many foods our dinners aren't too bad. It's my snacking habits I need to work on changing so thinking of protein bars, Shakeology, and visiting the Smoothie King for their protein drinks rather than the chic fil a when I'm on my way to teach my college class this Fall will hopefully keep me on track.

So what are my goals? 1. I want to lose the 20-25 pounds that will put me back into the normal weight BMI range for my height, which would also mean I would fit back into the size pants I use to wear before 2. Actually run a 5K (as in run the whole thing)  3. Eat better, not just to lose weight but to be healthier 4. Complete the taking back me goal with gaining back all my confidence inside and out.   4. Maintain, maintain, maintain- maintain my weight, my eating habits, my fitness habits, my confidence and positive outlook

Because there may be a baby interruption in here this could take a year to actually see how the story unfolds because no matter when that time is to me the results aren't final until I'm through with my childbearing days and my body is completely mine again (minus breastfeeding). But as the motto goes, why do something tomorrow that you can do today.

My book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas,  for mothers of any age (suggested by an older reader's feedback) focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99.






 

To Be a Child

To Be a Child

 

It’s the toddler laughter of delight
It’s the excitement of seeing mom or dad walk in the door
It’s the tears as soon as something doesn’t go their way
It’s an innocence of the world
It’s a sense of security that the world is safe
It’s  jumping up to dance like no one is watching
It’s running through the rain, drenched to the bone

 

When I look at you I delight in the childhood innocence I see
I see a child who is free
A child who knows nothing but love
A child who still believes in not only fairies and magic but in the good of our world

 

When I look at you I see a child
Who with her smile can make any day better
I see a child who throws her head back in such simple child delight
I see a child who only knows happiness and a desire to make those around her happy
I see a child confident to be who she is, unscathed by the judgments of the world 

To be a child
is innocence
is purity
is a moment gone too fast

 

Have you gotten your copy of my book, Moms, Monsters, Media & Margaritas, which focuses on women today accepting who they are. It examines how our 21st century digital world shapes our perceptions and expectations of our capabilities as mothers, wives, employers, and women. It will leave you with a humorous and inspirational look at the individual journey of motherhood that takes each of us from the girl we were to the woman we become. The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99. Use the code DOGDAYS14 to get 15% off the print copy through July 21.