Monday, August 14, 2017

A Guilt Free, Balanced Momma

I sometimes think I've been on the search for guilt free, balanced motherhood since I started this momma gig. Some days I feel like I'm there and other days not so much. Maybe that's just the way it is with anything in life. Some days you have it all figured out, and then you get a smack in the face- sometimes literally by a crazed toddler- that warns you not to get too far ahead of yourself, momma.

As I get ready to head back into my hectic life as a working mom, which is usually when I feel guilt ridden and unbalanced the most, I thought of the things that I think can help me with ridding the mom guilt and feeling more balanced. Here are my top five hopes on achieving a guilt free, balanced motherhood experience:

1. Make you a priority once a day: I use to think this was selfish but I've found if I'm not giving myself a chance to work out, read, write, or do something for myself each day it is the falling domino that starts knocking everything else over. I can have a day or so here and there where I let "me" go, and it's not the end of the world by any means, but if I'm not taking a bit of time to do something I enjoy for myself for days on end the crashing of dominos is about to go down.

2. Build and surround yourself with an amazing mom tribe of moms in the trenches with you and survivors out of the trenches: I can not stress the need for building ourselves a tribe of women in motherhood enough. Motherhood is hard. We need to surround ourselves with women who understand and support us, and we need to feel we can provide the same support to them. There's a sisterhood in motherhood.

3. Practice gratefulness- Some days are hard. Some days we're full of guilt for what we did or what we didn't do. Some days there's just no balance to be found, but there is always something positive to be found in each day. On the hardest days especially, I'm learning to remind myself each day to think about what I was thankful for that day.

4. Practice mindfulness- This one is hard but with the help from some coaching I am working on getting better at this. As someone with anxiety issues I'm learning to not only recognize my triggers but learning how to step back from the situations and reevaluate quickly what to adjust or change to regain the balance I need to feel centered again. Mommas are the foundation of so much, and if we start to crack it's going to start bringing down everything we've built around us. Evaluating my reactions is a move in maintaining a more balanced, solid foundation for me and mine.

5. Set goals and celebrate when we reach them; I'm a productive person by nature. I have to feel like I'm doing something, accomplishing something. As accomplishing as it is to change two dozen diapers in a day, and wash dishes three times a day, and complete all the other daily tasks that is motherhood that no one notices half the time I like to set personal goals that go beyond my diapering and dishwashing skills (which suck sometimes by the way). Setting daily, weekly, monthly, and even yearly goals gives me a purpose and fulfillment.  Setting goals and hitting those have always been big in finding my balanced self in motherhood. I  love being a mother; she's a huge part of who I am, but there is more to me than her.

I hope you can find your guilt free, balanced momma in this momma journey.

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