Thursday, April 3, 2014

You Walk that Way, Superwoman, and I'll Walk this Way

Facebook and instagram newsfeeds blow up constantly with parents, myself included, and our engaging moments with our children. None of us advertise laying on the couch watching television or even really mention those moments of letting the kids entertain themselves through free play. Somewhere this idea of engaging and entertaining our children constantly throughout the day has become a parent must.

I love social media; it has definitely been a positive way more than a negative in my life, but it's what leads us to constantly comparing ourselves to one another and on this chase of superwoman. Lucky for me in this case my "I don't really care what others think" attitude serves me well most of the time. However, I still fall into the trap of seeing or reading things and feeling those twinges of guilt because I don't do that and think maybe I should. I will stop and think about veering off my own path because something or someone convinces me I need to be different in order to be better. Social media can convince us someone else is the superwoman that has this masterful balancing act all figured out, and we either hate her or want to be her.

It is instances like today where I come home from work, exhausted from a long week,where I just turn on the TV for the girls and plop down on the coach, that can lead to that path of mommy guilt. It was one of those sleeping with one eye cracked open kind of afternoons. The kind as mothers we don't share on facebook because to let our children watch a little TV or play on their own has become taboo. Supermom would never do that so let's just hide that little reality in the closest.

I don't think I need to "entertain" or "engage" my child every second we're together. But again, our information age pulls us in all these different directions of what is "right" when it comes to parenting today. Even though I catch myself sometimes being dragged down a path that is not dictated by my own beliefs but what I let others intentionally or unintentionally try to lead me to believe, I've gotten much better at cutting myself some slack and letting supermom continue walking her path and continuing down my own path of reality of what works me and my family. That reality is sometimes I'm so tired I want to lay on the couch and let my kids watch TV. The reality is my kids are so independent because I leave them to themselves (within reason of course) to play and even fight it out among themselves. My idea of crafts is letting them drag out their paint brushes, paint, and slopping it on some paper and usually my floor or table. My kids play and play with no structure every day, and it is okay.

It's not like I don't engage with my kids. I would say their most memorable engagement moments with us  from their early childhood years will be the things we did outside of the house whether it was outside on our walks, playing games or ball in the yard, and  on our little family field trips to the things we enjoy doing, For the day to day work day the memories will probalby be about dinner time, cuddling on the couch for TV, and cuddles at or most of the time past bedtime.

We all walk our own paths; none of our paths are the same. They never will be so we all should just embrace our own paths. It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to want to turn on the television every and now then for the kids so we can rest; it's okay to want to escape to the shower or the store. It's okay to get frustrated and impatient. It's okay to not be a grand chef; it's okay to not be crafty. It's okay to get in whatever little or nonexistent workout we can fit in our hectic schedules. It's okay to have a dirty house. It's okay to be the mom that we are. Let superwoman walk away down her path, and you can keep on walking on yours. I've learned it's okay.

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  1. One thing that makes parenting adventurous and become a learning experience to all of us is that it comes without a manual. One thing may be suitable for other parents, but not for us and vice versa. Guess we have to figure it out ourselves.

    I also don't entertain or engage my son at times even when we don't watch TV as much as before. It could be really exhausting! There are times that he plays on his own while I rest or work.

    I'm glad you shared our reality Angela! Thanks.

  2. Yes, ma'am! I agree! It's funny, because some of my friends call me supermom. Now that I only have one at home (the older two are at school), it's much easier for me to relax and not have to keep the kids entertained just to keep them out of trouble. I love the fact that my three-year-old can play on his own, and not need me 24/7. We go outside and play, but while we are inside, we are watching TV, or he is playing with his blocks while I do something else, and it's 100% okay. :o)
    - Carmen
    check out my blog at

  3. Angela,
    I loved this post so very much! I will be featuring this as my favorite at Tell Me About It Tuesday!