Saturday, September 7, 2013

Let's hear it for all the single mommas!

I recently encountered the following post post by Christy @ Mother of the Year  about single moms and just like Christy I call bullshit. I was not raised by a single mom and as probably all of you know I am not a single mom. But I have a lot of respect for the single mom.

I know some would like to blame single mothers for poor decisions in their past; some would also like to make single mothers the scapegoats for some of society’s current problems. I'm sure there are single mothers that made poor decisions just as  there are married mothers that have made poor decisions too. Maybe there are some bad apples in the single mother orchard but there are some in the married mother one too.

Aside from my own mother, whom I obviously have a great respect for, there’s a few other mommas I’d like to recognize. My aunt and my husband’s grandmother are two women I have always had a quiet admiration for. Both of these women moved far from home just as I did, were married, and had three children with their husbands, but then due to circumstances that they had every right to see as wrong and threatening to their children, left their husbands and raised their children on their own. In both cases I believe their three children were under the age of ten. Let me tell you to this day at age 79 and 54, these are some strong women. These women not only raised their children alone with no husband and family far away, they worked hard day after day and year after year. Just as Christy mentions in her experiences as a single mother, she refused to let others take care of her and her own. They worked hard, they worked long hours, and they fought mentally and emotionally every day to provide for their children. They deserve respect the same as other mothers that work hard to take care of their children.

Our society is so bad about casting stones at people because of stereotypes that have been cast upon their subgroup. I have several high school friends again for reasons that are personal have found themselves on the single mom path. I follow their stories and again I know these ladies work hard to provide and care for their daughters. They don’t deserve a negative label based on the simple fact that they’re a single mom.

Motherhood is hard no matter how we cut it- single, married, homosexual, stay at home, work from home, working , one kid, four kids, special needs, gifted and talented-but just as everything in life is unfair some do have it harder than others; some have larger mountains to climb than others. In different ways yes, we are all probably warrior moms for the obstacles we overcome and mountains we climb on our journey. Again it is for reasons like this that even though we may share some of the same experiences in motherhood no two mothers or their journey are the same. Just as we shouldn’t judge ourselves because of someone’s motherhood experience, we shouldn’t be so quick to judge another because of hers.

As part of my new goal to share other mom’s stories and struggles, I want to share the project Christy and another mom Kimbra recently started called Project Warrior Mom. This is a project to recognize and offer resources to those moms that have larger mountains to climb. As Christy and Kimbra mention all too often it's the negative stories of motherhood that makes the headlines rather than the uplifting stories of the the successes of motherhood and just survival in general.

Maybe next time you can give a positive shoutout to the single mommas in your life!

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  1. Great post! I am not a single mom. However, like you, i have great admiration & respect for these ladies. Society can be so judgmental and that is just wrong.
    Great read. Thank you for sharing your views on this matter.

  2. Thank you so much! I'm sharing this in multiple places!

  3. Great post. I am not a single mom, I have a wonderful husband who is truly engaged with our children. I still do feel like everyday I am going into battle with respect to raising my kids. It is no easy feet to raise kids.

  4. great post! in my country, being a single mother is something as rare as UFO's. I am one and just beginning to get used to this status

  5. I was a single mom for 6 years, I worked hard, every day to raise my son, No I'm married to a soldier, and the fact that he spend a lot time away from home, I'm always in charge of everything, Iike I used to do when I was a single mom. Proud of all the single moms, because I was one too.

  6. I have great respect for single mothers. My sister is one and I know all the challenges she faces.
    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo