I'm sure we all knew there would be talks we would have to have with our children. I guess in my mind I was thinking of adolescent talks about drugs, drinking and driving, even sex. But I didn't imagine the serious talks I would have to have with my five year old soon to be kindergartener. I know we all like to think we'd prefer to keep them in some kind of bubble. But the world is out there, and it is a great place for our children to explore. But as a parent with our exposure through modern media sources to what seems like every horrible thing in our world, I am all too often reminded of what a scary place it can be for our children. However, I don't believe hiding from the world is the answer.
So before the age of even five I have had the following terrifying discussions with my daughter.
A school year no longer goes by without some sort of school shooting. It breaks my heart as a parent that we even have to feel slightly apprehensive about our daughter's safety at school. At times the "that won't happen here" thought enters my mind, and I try to tell myself I have nothing to worry about. But look at all the nice surburan places that parents should have felt safe in and then that didn't turn out to be the case. So at five years old, we have told our daughter if anyone ever had a gun in school or there was a shooting, she was to hide. Run and hide.
I know there's always been the stranger danger talk to young children but now with amber alerts filling our newsfeed frequently it is scary to realize how often children are abducted,especially little girls. Multiple times I have stressed to her that she DOES NOT go anywhere with anyone but mommmy and daddy. Sadly because of how many young girls that are abducted by neighbors, friends, teachers or coaches, people they know, we've stressed to her she doesn't go anywhere with anyone she even knows unless Mommy and Daddy put her in the car with them. Unfortunatley, we had this talk with her when she was three years old due to her super friendly attitude and the drunk neighbor that we lived next door to in the city. He never did anything to make me suspicous and was always nice to her, but we didn't really know him besides that he was a drunk and had the police over there frequently for domestic issues. We've also stressed to her if ever in a situation where she's unsure or scared to just scream and run for help. Don't listen to any threats they may issue.
As parents we'd all like to think we don't have to talk about sex until at least puberty, but as someone who has worked in early childcare, trust me as a parent you want to have this talk now. Unfortunately, kids see things they shouldn't or even worse experience something they shouldn't. They then think it is okay to attempt or talk their friends in school into something sexual. It really is not too early to stress the importance that no one should touch them there-friend or even worse an adult.
The other talk is one that again I think is getting much more attention with this generation and that is bullying. I've stressed to her the importance of being nice to everyone, especially to the kid that no one seems to be nice to. I often stress the importance of being a leader and not a follower. Just as adults are drawn to her with her very outgoing, friendly personality so are her own peers. Even at five years old I stress to her the importance of using that in the right way by leading by example by being friendly with everyone and to be the one to stand up for someone that needs it.
She's not even five years old and to me these are pretty big conversations to be having with her, but I also know she's incredibly smart and she remembers everything. Is this the kind of conversations I imagined as a parent having with a kindergartener? No, it never really crossed my mind. But each year she gets a little more outside the bubble, and as much as we want to shield them from the world it is out there. I know there will be many more important talks to have as she gets older, and again I don't plan on putting them off no matter how much I don't want to have them or how uncomfortable they make me feel.
So before the age of even five I have had the following terrifying discussions with my daughter.
A school year no longer goes by without some sort of school shooting. It breaks my heart as a parent that we even have to feel slightly apprehensive about our daughter's safety at school. At times the "that won't happen here" thought enters my mind, and I try to tell myself I have nothing to worry about. But look at all the nice surburan places that parents should have felt safe in and then that didn't turn out to be the case. So at five years old, we have told our daughter if anyone ever had a gun in school or there was a shooting, she was to hide. Run and hide.
I know there's always been the stranger danger talk to young children but now with amber alerts filling our newsfeed frequently it is scary to realize how often children are abducted,especially little girls. Multiple times I have stressed to her that she DOES NOT go anywhere with anyone but mommmy and daddy. Sadly because of how many young girls that are abducted by neighbors, friends, teachers or coaches, people they know, we've stressed to her she doesn't go anywhere with anyone she even knows unless Mommy and Daddy put her in the car with them. Unfortunatley, we had this talk with her when she was three years old due to her super friendly attitude and the drunk neighbor that we lived next door to in the city. He never did anything to make me suspicous and was always nice to her, but we didn't really know him besides that he was a drunk and had the police over there frequently for domestic issues. We've also stressed to her if ever in a situation where she's unsure or scared to just scream and run for help. Don't listen to any threats they may issue.
As parents we'd all like to think we don't have to talk about sex until at least puberty, but as someone who has worked in early childcare, trust me as a parent you want to have this talk now. Unfortunately, kids see things they shouldn't or even worse experience something they shouldn't. They then think it is okay to attempt or talk their friends in school into something sexual. It really is not too early to stress the importance that no one should touch them there-friend or even worse an adult.
The other talk is one that again I think is getting much more attention with this generation and that is bullying. I've stressed to her the importance of being nice to everyone, especially to the kid that no one seems to be nice to. I often stress the importance of being a leader and not a follower. Just as adults are drawn to her with her very outgoing, friendly personality so are her own peers. Even at five years old I stress to her the importance of using that in the right way by leading by example by being friendly with everyone and to be the one to stand up for someone that needs it.
She's not even five years old and to me these are pretty big conversations to be having with her, but I also know she's incredibly smart and she remembers everything. Is this the kind of conversations I imagined as a parent having with a kindergartener? No, it never really crossed my mind. But each year she gets a little more outside the bubble, and as much as we want to shield them from the world it is out there. I know there will be many more important talks to have as she gets older, and again I don't plan on putting them off no matter how much I don't want to have them or how uncomfortable they make me feel.
Great share. Yes we would all love to leave certain conversations for later in life but unfortunately we live in a world faster paced then we would prefer. We can't keep our children in the dark so great that you are indeed having these conversations as best you can given the age :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean! My kids are older now, but I remember having a lot of talks with them that were hard. Sounds like you're doing an awesome job of parenting! I'm glad I found this on Bloggymoms. I'm trying to follow you on social media platforms. I haven't found them yet, though. Ok I'm following you on G+. Just a tip: Maybe put FB & Twitter buttons on your page. Hope to see you around!
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