Sunday, April 19, 2015

After "I Do"

Summer is wedding and anniversary season. Something about the blooming flowers and sunny days gives people hope to commit their life away to one person. Every bride dreams of that glorious wedding day. Hopefully all of yours were as blissfully wonderful as I recall of mine. But just as I always say to expectant mothers you better not just want a baby, you better want a whole person to add permanently to your life, any bride better want more from that “I do” ceremony than the princess wedding she’s always dreamed about. She better be ready for a lifelong journey that is not always blooming flowers and sunny days.

For the hopeful brides out there this wedding season I thought I’d share a little married woman’s knowledge into the journey that follows after the honeymoon ends.

1.       You will think nothing of having a conversation through a closed door while the other one does his or her business, the kind of business that takes longer than two minutes to take care of

2.       Some days you will wonder if you even like each other. There will be moments where no one has ever driven you crazier than your significant other.

3.       You will share a sick sense of humor in playfully tormenting your kids.

4.       Shortly after kids you will discover where you once loved being able to do things for him, you will now discover you leave him to do lists of things you need him to do, and there’s little time left for you to pamper and wait on him like you use to.

5.       You won’t even think twice about foregoing shaving or other basic feminine upkeep.

6.       You will realize that men can be just as moody as women and have their own man period in which case they are sensitive to everything you say.

7.       You will realize that men are full of a lot more shit than women because they seem to have to go to the bathroom for ten plus minutes at a time several times a day, which becomes really apparent after you have children.

8.       You will envy your husband because even though you interrupt his bathroom time by telling him the latest story or to do list through the closed door at least he gets to go in there alone, unlike us after we have children.

9.   You will discover that there is this crazy bitch that exists within you that is ignited when he pushes your buttons too long.
10.  You will discover someone besides your parents and your best friends who can still love you even at your worst.

A wedding is the happily ever after ending every little girl first knows of love, but it's really just the beginning, not the ending, of the love story of your life.  

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