Saturday, March 14, 2015

How your Sex Life after Kids is Like a Teenager's

In many ways your sex life changes as you grow older and add kids and everything else to the mix. However in a moment where we weren't necessarily caught so to speak but something embarrassingly funny (sorry I'm not going to share) happened Nate and I found ourselves amused with how sex after kids is in some ways similar to sex or virgin sex relations when you're a teenager, assuming of course you weren't the angelic good girl.

1. The art of being sneaky
Obviously if you weren't the angelic good girl and just giving Prince Charming pecks on the cheek under your parents' watchful eye, you experienced the thrill of sneaking around to you know do whatever it was that you were doing away from your parents' watchful eyes. After kids you don't have to pretend to the be angelic good girl anymore but damn if those little eyes aren't way more watchful eyes than parents ever thought about being. It's like they can sense when you're doing something they don't want you to see, which leads to number 2.

2. The guilty jumping apart
Remember that heart stopping moment when a parent walks in even if it's just catching you kissing. I haven't yet decided which one is more of an "uh oh" moment. Getting caught by my parents or my kids. They both result in jumping as far from each other as you possibly can, trying to convince either that it was just a figment of their imagination that saw the two of you so close together. This fear of not separating fast enough is what leads to #3.

3. Listening with one ear
Unfortunately, when you're trying to be sneaky and avoid being caught, it's hard to be fully in the "moment" because you have one ear attuned to everything else going on outside of  that "moment". Then with every little threatened noise you're stopping, then restarting, then there's a noise again, so you're stopping, then starting, and then you're thinking again "is this worth all the hassle?"

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1 comment:

  1. So very true! I swear I could hear a pin drop now, my ears are so finely tuned for little visitors !