Friday, July 8, 2016

Am I going to Miss Having a Baby????

My baby will be three months on Monday. We are to the point of saying good bye to our first last of raising children. As we approach three months we are saying good bye to the last newborn phase of our parenthood life.

I am 90% sure we're done having kids. The other 10% is more for the chance of me forgetting to take my pill and accidently getting knocked up. As I well know this last year with a baby is going to fly by and before I know it he will be all over the place, there will be bins of clothes packed up to hand over to someone else, and I will part with baby items like the swing and baby gym that I've had for over seven years and has gone through three babies. My baby will become a toddler and again in a blink a little boy. Our days of a baby in the house will once again be behind us and for forever this time ( until we have little grandkids running around in like 20 years of course). I  keep asking myself am I going to miss having a baby in my house or in our life?

The other day I was holding and snuggling on him and sent my sisters a message about how much I do actually love having a baby. Even with all the crying and dependency and the baby things that drive me crazy there's nothing quite like holding a cuddly squishy baby with chubby cheeks to kiss. Yet I look at my girls and no matter the baby experience I had with them because if you recall it was two totally different experiences I don't really miss or yearn for those days of their infancy. I look at them now as the seven and four year old little girls they are and I don't recall ever wishing to go back to the earlier days of their childhood.  It always seems like the stranger in the store wants to tell you to enjoy them babies now as if they won't be as enjoyable later because they'll get sassy like my middle one or overly bossy like my oldest one.

Call me crazy but I feel like with every age they are I think it's the best age. Each age has had its annoyances but so many things to enjoy too. I loved age 2 and 3 with both of them which everyone always seems to hate. Neither of them are big temper tantrum throwers so throwing fits was nothing that ever marked those years in my memory, and they were fast talkers so I think being able to communicate helped. They learned early no was no and don't ask again. It was the beginning of them becoming their own little person even if being that little person involved getting into mischief with her curious little personality or standing her ground in toddler defiance. I didn't wish to stop my toddler or little girl's growth forward to revert her back to a passive baby that had no say in how her day went.

Sure when my oldest hit six I was asking other moms if there was some pre puberty phase they hit at six because she was overly emotional and a little snotty in ways she had never been but really it's just here and there and she's still such a good big hearted kid that wants to the right things and hates to disappoint. I still say she was the blessing I needed first to help me/us with raising our family out here alone. She may have a fearless, risk taker streak but you can't get a much more responsible kid than her.  That sassy attitude I knew was there all along appears to have just gotten stronger as my middle one reached four but that girl loves her family. I love hearing her pray for her family at night in our little late night chats because she NEVER wants to go to sleep, and she has such a big heart too because she will do everything in her little power to make her big sister feel better when her sister's upset even if she's the one that made her upset.

Looking at his two big sisters and knowing the love I had and currently have for them I know I won't miss the baby phase. When I look back I don't think it will be babies I will miss having in my house; it will be years down the road when they've grown up and left that I will possibly miss having them as children in my house. No matter the age just having them there with us every day living this family life that I know they love as much as we do is what I will miss, not necessarily the infant, the toddler, the preschooler, the little girl or boy, the tween or teen, but just the experience of watching them grow into their own person.

This is just the beginning of watching the last childhood blossom in our care; there is so much more to come for him in the years ahead that I won't really miss saying good bye to him as a baby because I can't wait to see who he is as he enters the other phases of his childhood.

                                                                  My baby boy
My little firecracker

                                                               The future little mommy

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