Sunday, July 14, 2013

The battle of time with my little girl

So last night I hear paddling feet above my head around midnight. Assuming Averi I go up to see what she's up to since last I knew she was asleep. I find her sitting on the tiolet crying. She was crying because she woke up and of course couldn't find us anywhere because we were downstairs watching TV.

Of course I pick her up,comfort her, and cuddle with her in bed. Then it's like I had one of those mommy mini meltdown moments. I might add that I was cuddling with her in our bed. Since we moved five months ago, she has not made any kind of connection with her new room, even though she painted it with her dad, but I think because she has a playroom now and there aren't really any toys in there she doesn't spend any time in there. Nate and I started I suppose one of those bad parenting habits by letting her go to sleep in our room and now five months later, we're starting to wonder how we're ever going to get her out. So yes some may judge. We're the parents; make her go to bed in her own room; put our foot down,  but I've started to realize this is the only connection I have to the baby that she was :(. She's like a little baby that still so desperately needs her mommy and daddy to cuddle her close to go to sleep, and I'm having a hard time letting go of that one last baby thing with her.

She's such a big girl in so many ways. She's independent in everything else besides going to sleep. She is the best help ever with her little sister.We can have mini adult conversations with her. She gets her own snacks and drinks. She even goes to the bathroom completely by herself and when you're in the diapers and potty training years that just never seems like it's going to happen. She'll be five in a little over six months and I'll be registering her for kindergarten in the spring. She's so excited about school and making friends.

At times when I look at her I can still see the little baby in her face from a few years ago, but as I go through all these baby and toddler stages with Kenzi now I don't even feel like I remember them with Averi that well anymore. It seems so long ago. One day today is going to seem so long ago. No, every moment with them is not joyous and this wonderfully romanticized parenting journey, but I will miss the babies they are. And last night as I held her and she told me six was when she'd be old enough to go to sleep in her own bed, I thought, okay, maybe at six I'll suck it up and hold  you to that and let you go be the big girl that you always say you are and are going to be no matter how hard I try to hold onto your babiness.

This blog and pictures have become my way to fight against time; my only way to still the hands of time and make sure the moments I don't want to forget are saved. So I went through some old pictures and here's a short timeline of my babies. Oh, time, please cut me a break and slow down.

                                                       Averiella Lorenza 6 weeks
                                                                       6 months
                                                                        9 months
                                                                   1 year
                                                                One and a half
                                                                        Almost 2
                                                              Two years old
                                                               Two and half
                                                         Four years old
                                                 Such a big girl at 4 years old


  1. good grief... that's cute little munchkin!!!

    Carol H. Wright
    Urban Living the Wright Way

  2. She is so pretty! My youngest still gets scared and runs into cuddle with me :) Love all the pics!

  3. Love the photo timeline. She is adorable. Madison is only 17 months but she still loves to come in and lay with me during the day and give me hugs and kisses. I hope those days never end. :)

  4. She is simply adorable! This makes me want to do a timeline on Emalee :) It is such a cute idea!