On one of our longer drives this past week, my husband and I got on the topic of the mommy wars. I have a strange interest in them. I maybe mentioned this once before but if I were to ever get a higher degree it would be a PhD in sociology because I am just really fascinated with social issues, especially in today's times. I also love history and I'm always telling my students I would love to see what will be in the history books about our time when we're all dead and gone. I would love to study the current social issues of today before they are just history. Not that I'm a huge over the top women's lib kind of person, but the changing role of women and family dynamics would be the thing I would love to focus on the most.
Because of my interest in that, I am fascinated by the so called mommy wars probably more as someone that loves academics rather than as a mother. I have friends from all different walks of motherhood choices and I respect them all as I once wrote in my post Moms, get ready to be judged! I'm not going to say I haven't passed judgments at times because well, I am a woman and we always tend to think we're right. But we all have our reasons for why we choose what we choose. Honestly I still stand by the idea that none of them are really any better of a choice than the other; just certain choices are better for certain people. I always feel that I'm more critial of my choices than other people are of them. But I've learned my choices are mine to own and him and I are the only ones who really have to be okay with them.
But as I got into the conversation with my husband he kind of summed it up in a very matter of fact man kind of way. "You're women. You're indecisive. One minute you want one thing and ten minutes later it's something else. And once you get something in your head you're like a dog with a bone. Nagging and nagging and bugging everybody until they see it your way. God knows a woman can't be wrong." (Maybe he's getting all women confused with me. Sorry about that, ladies)
I'm pretty sure his mimic of us went something like this, "I want women's lib; I can work outside the home just as much as a man. No, I want to be at home and take care of my babies like my mother and her mother before her. I need to breastfeed; I can't breastfeed. No, pain medicine; I'm doing this all natural. Give me the damn pain medicine now!"
I couldn't help but to laugh at his man's point of view of the issue. I feel that women ponder and ponder over what choice is the right choice. Then even after we make it sometimes we worry and worry about whether it was the right one. I don't know about you but if I get an idea in my head that I feel pretty strongly about, I push and push and push. To be honest, many times in my life I've just wished I was man. They don't think about a decision too long; they just make it and move on. the end. They don't overanalyze it and try to convince the whole world their way is the right way.
You ever wished you thought like a man instead of a women? Is there any truth to what he says or is he just being a typical man?
Because of my interest in that, I am fascinated by the so called mommy wars probably more as someone that loves academics rather than as a mother. I have friends from all different walks of motherhood choices and I respect them all as I once wrote in my post Moms, get ready to be judged! I'm not going to say I haven't passed judgments at times because well, I am a woman and we always tend to think we're right. But we all have our reasons for why we choose what we choose. Honestly I still stand by the idea that none of them are really any better of a choice than the other; just certain choices are better for certain people. I always feel that I'm more critial of my choices than other people are of them. But I've learned my choices are mine to own and him and I are the only ones who really have to be okay with them.
But as I got into the conversation with my husband he kind of summed it up in a very matter of fact man kind of way. "You're women. You're indecisive. One minute you want one thing and ten minutes later it's something else. And once you get something in your head you're like a dog with a bone. Nagging and nagging and bugging everybody until they see it your way. God knows a woman can't be wrong." (Maybe he's getting all women confused with me. Sorry about that, ladies)
I'm pretty sure his mimic of us went something like this, "I want women's lib; I can work outside the home just as much as a man. No, I want to be at home and take care of my babies like my mother and her mother before her. I need to breastfeed; I can't breastfeed. No, pain medicine; I'm doing this all natural. Give me the damn pain medicine now!"
I couldn't help but to laugh at his man's point of view of the issue. I feel that women ponder and ponder over what choice is the right choice. Then even after we make it sometimes we worry and worry about whether it was the right one. I don't know about you but if I get an idea in my head that I feel pretty strongly about, I push and push and push. To be honest, many times in my life I've just wished I was man. They don't think about a decision too long; they just make it and move on. the end. They don't overanalyze it and try to convince the whole world their way is the right way.
You ever wished you thought like a man instead of a women? Is there any truth to what he says or is he just being a typical man?
Your husband sounds like my husband. Do all men think alike? :)
ReplyDeleteHe does have a point. We obsess over how to do things and then, when we do decide on something, we defend it to the death. I think that a lot of us are insecure and very self-critical so when we choose a path and then come across somebody else who chose differently, we get defensive and feel like their different choice is a criticism of ours. I think that the "mommy wars" are more about defending our own positions than about putting somebody else down. Personally, I try very hard to avoid doing it but I've caught myself slipping once in a while.
ReplyDeleteMy husband would say the same thing :) He would say that I'm not like that though. I made my decision and am very happy with it. I got my master's degree and then decided to stay home. I love being with my boys and I don't feel like I am being judged by anyone, especially in my area. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHe really sounds about right....wait nevermind I am a woman so I'm right, not him, okay he is maybe a little
ReplyDeleteDomesticated Breakdown