Where's the Beauty in Perfection?

I'm not sure if before social media we all thought we had to strive for this perfect idea of motherhood or not; I just know in this modern day motherhood world that we live in there's a lot of focus on how social media shapes our perceptions and expectations of motherhood. Before I even entered motherhood, I was one of those types that at some things in my life had a perfectionist type nature. In the beginning of motherhood, I guess in some naïve way I thought I should strive towards perfection with that too, but somewhere along the way I learned the real beauty in motherhood and anything really in life is in the imperfection of the realities rather than the envisioned perfections we may have.

Finally accomplishing the milestone of potty training wouldn't be the joyous occasion to celebrate that it is if it wasn't for the days, sometimes months, and even a year or so of wet pants, poop stained messes, and mopping up wet spots.

Raving on our children's sibling love for one another wouldn't be the moment to showcase if we hadn't experienced the moments of restraining ourselves from knocking their two heads together in frustration.

Acknowledging to the media world that our child just said the sweetest thing ever to us and made our hearts swell in a love we never imagined possible if we didn't remember the hurt of them telling us we're a bad or mean mommy.

Praising their wonderful behavior wouldn't be the moment of pride it is if we didn't recall those moments they had an absolute meltdown of screaming fits and we were standing there wondering, "is my child normal?"

Shouting out to the world that our kids are asleep wouldn't be a reason to celebrate with anyone willing to listen in the virtual world  if we hadn't just spent the last week or so of telling them to go back to bed ten times a night.

Sharing our beautiful prepared dinner wouldn't be the showcase event it is if we hadn't burnt dinner or served take out for the last few nights while trying to manage the evening chaos.

Sharing the well organized and cleaned closest wouldn't be the must share event it is if we didn't know it would be another few years before we took the time to make it look that good again after the kids and probably ourselves restored it back to its disorderly state.

Acknowledging our love for our lives and our children wouldn't feel so necessary if we didn't have the moments of guilt and uncertainty that can unwillingly leak into our minds every now and then.

Sharing the moments of family fun and outings wouldn't stand out as something to appreciate and treasure if our lives weren't swapped at times with work and household responsibilities.

Capturing as many joyous moments on camera wouldn't feel like such a must if we didn't know and understand that anything can change in a blink and it's the memories saved that will get us through the hard places in life.

It isn't perfection that makes life's moments beautiful but the contrast of the good with the bad. We wouldn't know what to appreciate and treasure if we didn't experience those not quite so enjoyable moments of parenthood. So when it comes to social media and our expectations and perceptions just remember for every showcase moment there's a few crazy ones to go with it that maybe involved a little kicking and screaming, maybe even from us ourselves.


                              There's a lot of crazy that goes on behind the cuteness of these innocent poses.



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A Third Kid, Really?

"A third kid, really?" is what I tend to hear when either myself or even others have talked about more than what has become the socially acceptable two children per family. Personally, I always get a kick out of how other people can get their panties in such a bunch about other people's life decisions. I recently saw a friend posting something in her defense of her choice to not have children. I've also seen another friend share reasons why parents are choosing and defending their reasons for having only one child. Then if you decide that your ideal family includes three or possibly even four children you feel like you have to deflect accusations of trying to be the next Duggar family.

So society may say two kids is the supposed "acceptable" number but I've always kind of liked doing things outside the norm or the total opposite of what others tell me to do. My parents would be the first to agree with this statement.

But aside from just wanting to go against the norm, I have several other reasons for wanting a third child. I've always wanted a big family. If it wasn't for money, I would seriously consider four. After four, I start to worry that I'll get them confused, forget one, or misplace one somewhere so I really think the cut off would be four at most, but probably three to be safe. I worry about money a little with three, but aside from their activities, the expense of three when we travel is what I worry about the most. I love the bond and relationship among siblings; it's a friend for your whole life. I love big family gatherings. I always imagine us like my parents, empty nesters, but with our house filling up at random times throughout the year with the laughter and joy, as our adult children return to the home we raised them in to celebrate the holidays and milestones in life.

I'd like to think it's no surprise but I LOVE kids. I love adults too and I look forward to the relationships I'll have with my adult children, but even though I'm not a huge baby fan, I love kids. They are so funny, so loving, so honest, so full or life and joy. As a parent you get to help something grow and develop into its own functioning human being. What an awesome thing to say you accomplished in life! What better way to stay young in life than to surround yourself with children. I don't want to force society's expectations of children upon my own children, but I do want grandchildren some day, so I better have a couple of my own kids in case one or even a few of them decide kids aren't for them, right?  I hear often that once you have two, going to three kids is the easiest adjustment of all. The first one you just have no idea what you've really gotten yourself into, with the second it's the adjustment to what will become the norm of parenting chaos, and so with the third I guess you're already living in the land of crazy so really what's one more.

In some cultures wealth isn't measured by money but by family with how big and how deep your family ties go. Love and family to me is what it's all about. There are other things to life but the memories and moments that make me the happiest involve family and that love that is always so apparent so why can't I make my life wealthy in the way that I see makes it richer than anything else ever will.

                                      "Mom, Can we have one of these in the boy version?"


On a side note: Don't be expecting any baby Glenn #3 posts anytime too soon. We got some other things on our plate in 2014 before we attempt to bump our crazy up a notch : ). But hopefully there will be one eventually. Maybe one for daddy in the boy variety.

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Good bye, 2013

Hello, 2014





 

My Kids Didn't get the Memo about starting 2014 with Boring

In my Hello, 2014 Post I stated how we were ready to bunker down for the winter and have a nice, quiet more a less boring next couple of months. For someone that doesn't do boring very well, I was actually looking forward to it for a change. Our lives were pretty hectic and stressed in 2013 so I was more than ready for a quiet start to 2014.

However, my children must have not received that memo. That or like myself they just don't do boring very well. We are only five days into the new year and for this week's Southern Mess Moms Mischievous Monday, I am not even sure which of the three stories that occurred in just five short days that I should share.


First on only the second day of the new year, my youngest daughter decides she wants to beautify herself with sparkly lip gloss. She's two and I learned she obviously has no idea where lip gloss is suppose to go. I'm not really sure now what Santa was thinking putting those cute little lip gloss and finger nail polish packs in their stockings. I find her head covered in shiny, sparking lip gloss. It was a gooey, matted mess. Then I discovered she also smeared it all over her neck and chest. It took three baths before I felt like I got all of it out of her hair.

On the fourth day of the new year, we got to experience our first rush to the emergency room or what ended up being urgent care because they said they did stitches and it would be faster. While sled riding down our hill out back, a branch jumped out and took a chunk out of my oldest daughter's forehead. I pretty much knew as soon as I saw the blood streaming down her face and started hollering for my husband we were in for our first parent experience with holding down a screaming child to get stitches above her eye.

On the fifth day of the new year, my girls decided they needed to beautify themselves again. This time with the nail polish. Again, Santa, what are you thinking! Instead of their nails getting painted they pretty much painted their whole toes and fingers. Except my youngest whose one whole hand was pretty much painted pink and purple. At least this time unlike the last time, it wasn't red and spilt all over my bathroom, causing it to look like a mass murder took place in there.

So, 2014, obviously you plan to keep me on my toes again, but that's okay because I never really did like boring. Look at these two. Those faces have trouble written all over them but what fun it always is :)

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Our first trip to the Emergency Room

Today was an adventure I hope to never repeat. Even though it was only stitches the screaming and crying of my four year old as they stitched her forehead back together was horrific. As they pulled up and down on the upper part of her forehead to reconnect it with the bottom half I had to step out with my squirmy two year old. It was awful for me to listen to her screams and cries in the hallway so I can't even imagine how hard it was on my husband who stayed in there with her.

This was just a short incident that she ll heal from. She will possibly have quite a scar above her right eye brow. But as I experienced something that is hopefully the worse thing parents have to experience, the typical broken bones and stitches, I couldn't even begin to imagine how parents go through life threatening illnesses or injuries with their child. I know many that have gone through worse and even though I think of you often you were definitely in my thoughts today.

So what happened? To make it worse what happened is partially my fault. I took the girls out back to go sledding down our big hill. I went first to make a path but when I got to the bottom there were quite a few fallen branches. I cleared away what I saw but thought I really should cut a new path in a different part of the yard. I climb back up the hill which is quite a hike. Before I know it Ave takes off down the hill. She never goes by herself so I was distracted by my excitement that she went by herself. She was excited too. She came right back up and jumped on again before I could say anything about moving over.

This time when she gets to the bottom she starts crying and telling me she s hurt. Those that know Averi knows she s a little dramatic so I took my time getting down there. Until I saw her face covered in blood. Then I saw the big gash across her forehead. I started moving a little faster then. I carried her up the hill, yelling for nate as I went. Told him to meet me downstairs and that I thought we needed to go to the ER.

Even though they stitched her there I have to spend my Monday calling the insurance company, our primary care doctor, and getting her into the plastic surgeon because they need to put her under in order to restitch it more successfully.

So not exactly the slow start to my 2014 that I was looking for but she will live and be fine so in the grand scheme of things it's just a little bump in the road.

Hello, 2014!

It is looking like it will be off to a slow, calm start. It's so nice to think that we have a month with NO plans coming up though. I love to be busy. I am a planner and I tend to sometimes overbook us. Our summers, even though we're off, are usually booked with camping trips, a day or two at the beach, a family vacation, trips to MO and PA, swim parties, bbqs, and I pretty much fill every single weekend. I hate the thought of wasted time. I like to be sure to find time to catch friends it'd be so easy to lose touch with and visit our families that live far away and spend our weekends doing family fun activities. Life's too short to waste a moment always been my philosophy.

The fall with going back to school is always crazy whether I plan it or not because there is so much extra stuff it seems that has to be done to settle back into the school year. On top of the return to work, with all the fall holidays there's apple picking, pumpkin patch, fall festivals and carnivals to attend, then it's all the Christmas prep and activities. We've traveled to Fredericksburg, VA; Erie, PA; and Kansas City, Mo in the span of the last six weeks so to think we're pretty homebound for the next month. It's going to be movie and popcorn nights and hopefully lots of sled riding and snowman making if the winter keeps up with the way it's started in the last month. We spent our NYE playing princess Candyland and Doc McStuffins memory game.

We're all ready for some down time I think. We're ready to bunker down for the winter over here. As I said in my Good Bye 2013 post I'm excited for 2014. I hope it's filled with joy, health, and happiness for everyone.

My Good Bye 2013 Post also included the first 10 of the Top 20 A & N Posts of 2013. The top ten are as follows. Thanks for reading in 2013 and hope you'll be back to share in the joy and chaos of motherhood with us in 2014.

#10 is Sometimes I'm Superwoman but Most of the time I'm Just Nuts . I like to think I'm not alone in thinking some days I'm barely half a step ahead of crazy even though it feels like as mothers we need superwoman powers to conquer everything.

#9 is Top 5 on My Motherhood Hell List . We all love motherhood but let s be honest. There are just some things we could do without. What would you add to the list?

#8 is The Clown of this Circus Show Called Motherhood . Motherhood is a balancing act like no other and even though I'd like to think I'm the graceful trapeze artist I feel the goofy clown most of the time. Part of this post will also be published in a story I wrote for the spring release of Chicken Soup: The Survival Guide for the Multitasking Mom.

#7 The Battle of Time with my Little Girl . A sad mommy moment looking back at how fast my girl is growing. I'm sure I'll have a freakout moment in 2014 when she starts kindergarten.

#6  My Letter to God. Motherhood is a whole new search for self journey in itself and I feel that my relationship with God is a big part of that journey but here's my internal struggle with spirituality and religion as a mother.

#5 is Wal Mart: My frienemy . We all have a love/hate relationship with the local Wal Mart.

#4 is Time is What Makes Great Parents . A look back at how my own upbringing influences what I think matters in my own parenting journey. This was one of six posts selected to be featured out of over 100 for the Show Off Blog Post Weekend in October.

#3 The Working vs Stay at Home Mom Debate . Neither is a walk in the park but my look at this debate of today's motherhood world. This was also one of five posts selected to be featured out of  100 for this Momma's Meandering Mondays in November.

#2 The Damn Elf on the Shelf is the Last Straw, Moms! Guess everyone loves a funny rant. Good thing everyone knows not to take me too seriously.

And the #1 post of 2013 that still gets lots of hits for some reason is Moms, Get Ready to be Judged!
Unfortunately, I guess we all feel the harsh stares of judgment at some point.

Now to close out 2013 here are a few of my favorite pictures of 2013:

                          Winter:

                                                                      Spring

                                                                        Summer

                                                                      Fall

                                                            
                                                                 December