Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Midweek Confessions: Myth Busting My Life

A couple things have come to my attention lately that have made me think about how there's the image that others see and then there's the reality. Three recent conversations from the  past week have kind of inspired this post. If you go back to the beginning of this blog you will find a lot of posts that reflect a frazzled, high strung, sometimes comical girl who barely feels like she has it together. Even though the posts in the last few months probably reflect a more together, balanced, calmer woman they are still one and the same. These two different women that are reflected throughout the last two and half years on this blog is an honest reflection of the true woman, me. Ask my husband. He will tell you there are really are two me's.

In fact, just the other day we were talking about these two crazy polar opposites of myself. In honest reflection, I acknowledged and he agreed, that the energy of our whole household is almost always a reflection of the positive energy me or the negative energy me. My grandpa always had this saying, "If Mama ain't happy, no one's happy." We have witnessed that first hand here. I like to think that now that I am more aware of this, I can better control those moments or stretches where the negative energy becomes consuming.

I have often mentioned how my youngest daughter was so difficult the first year or so. To this day I still wonder because she is such a sensitive, emotional child if it was a result of her feeding so much off my negative energy at that time. I know now my positive or negative energy has a huge impact on my relationship with my husband. I like to think I have a better handle on my emotional response to highs and lows, but honestly I think only time will tell.

The other two questions were brought up by people that don't know me as well but that I thought I would myth bust for you.

1. After telling someone how we spent our winter break visiting both of our families I was asked if I really liked them and really liked being there with our families. This made me smile. I know lots of people who really have strained relationships with their own families or their in laws. We do have a good solid relationships with both of our families, and I think both Nate and I feel fortunate with the in laws we ended  up with. However, our families or our relationships with them are not perfect. We always stay with my youngest sister when we go home. On one of my first trips home back in college, I remember her and I screaming at each other in the hallway about 1 in the morning over something as ridiculous as the fan. I'm pretty sure, in our twenties or not, my father probably contemplated knocking our two heads together. My youngest sister and I can only handle so much of one another before it's like we regress to our teenage selfs and want to argue about everything; however, I do love staying at her house when we come to town :). It's kind of the same way with my mother. Her and I are too much alike so too much time together we start to drive each other a little battier than normal. I know my family and probably my in laws too can probably take only so much of me and my sometimes high strung, yet absent minded self before they've had more than their dosage of Ang for the moment.

2. After telling someone we brought both the dogs with us with the kids of course on our trip they replied with, "Wow,  you must be a great team." Haha! Maybe on some days it seems like it, but there are lots of days I think we're operating on two different planets. Some days I feel that he has no clue and there are others I'm sure he's wondering who is the psycho, moody lady in his kitchen when he gets home.

It's easy at times to project the image that everything is rosey and peachy. Positive energy makes it so much easier to focus on that, but there are still chaotic moments. My kids still fight going to bed almost every night. And I'm still convinced we're the worst parents with bedtime consistency. Some days I yell at my kids because I'm tired, cranky, and short on patience. Some days I think what a great man I married; other times I think one of us is going to kill the other today. Some days I think my kids are about as close to perfect as can be; other times I'm not really like them because I want to lock myself in my room and turn my deaf ear to their constant cries of "Momma!"

I got lots of compliments at the beginning of this blog because I was known for keeping it real. Many times those real, chaotic moments we're suppose to hide I guess, were what lead to sometimes insightfully funny posts that many enjoyed. The other day I was even thinking how, "Man it sucks that my life  has to be chaotically messy for me to be funny." But my life is in a much better place than it was a year or two ago. Unfortunately, sometimes I feel that people would rather see us at our lows than our highs. I guess those lows make us more real because they show our struggles and our weaknesses, and people can more easily relate.

For now don't take our high to mean we're perfect or found perfection because we definitely haven't. Maybe part of finding that high is letting that ideal go in the first place and learning to find contentment in the imperfections.

If you've missed any recent posts check out  2014 in Review, The Invisible Monster of Cancer, and The Days are Long, and It's Great!

Help me start reaching my 2015 sales goals with my book,  Moms, Monsters, Media, & Margaritas.. The print copy is currently for sale for $8.  The book is also now available on the Amazon kindle for $3.99 and the Barnes and Noble Nook for $4.99.

1 comment:

  1. I think it takes a lot of bravery to share your lows. I know I enjoy reading funny posts that tell a story that most people can relate to!